Accountability - How to live a productive life as an individual and as part of a collective.

Holding yourself accountable is a precursor to holding others accountability. Accountability builds trust, trust build culture, and culture builds success. In this episode we cover the importance of a quality accountability partner for individual progress towards successful leadership and growth. Coaches who master the ability to develop accountability within their team will drive performance of both individuals and the group to new heights.

What we talk about:

• Accountability is controllable and optimizes your chances for a positive outcome
• ERO & BCD 
• Accountability should be molded through definable parameters that dictate what needs to be achieved
• Why do I need to be accountable to myself, my team, my organization? 
• Layers of accountability - Personal (self, family, friends) Professional (team, business, organization, community)
• If you can’t hold yourself accountable, you cannot hold others accountable.
• Self Discipline Discipline = Freedom  
• Extreme Ownership - Own your role and play it to its fullest potential.
• Do your job! 
• Demonstrating self accountability will make others more likely to want to be more accountable to you.
• Set habits that allow you to establish a routine where you can be successful and control what you can control. 
• Show up when times are tough. 
• When you are in Charge Take Charge.
• Avoid the leadership vacuum where nobody wants to make a decision. 
• Define your role and define other people’s roles and make sure they have the tools necessary to do their jobs. 
• Provide clarity on what to do and make sure you do it.
• Accountability is one pillar that Builds trust 
• Become a Lifelong Learner (GROWTH MINDSET) be open minded and accept feedback from others even those who are under your leadership.
• Have expectations of excellence for yourself but accept failure and commit to resilience when things go wrong.
• Surround yourself with good people 
• Make a list of items short/medium/long range that need to be completed
• Be Present not Perfect
• K-A=O (Knowledge - Action = Nothing)
• Well Better How
• Alignment and assignment  
• To be perfect is to be fake.

Call to Action:
Start or a wall/mirror of accountability or find an accountability partner and list 3 things you will be accountable for (short/mid/long term)   Examples of accountability partner/mirror (self care, check in with others in your organization/team, mental muscle training -reading, podcasts or finding opportunities to expand and build on your leadership skills)

Connect with us:
https://linktr.ee/BenchmarkedPodcast

Thanks for listening to our show. We want to hear from you! Leave us a comment and/or a  review.
KEEP CRUSHING IT!

Mizuno


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Transcript

00:00:00:08 - 00:00:33:23
Speaker 1
Hey, team, welcome to Benchmarked. Coach Mess here along with Coach Larocque. Today we are talking about accountability. My notes look like a war zone right now. Man it is incredible. This is a big topic as it is really the glue that holds success together in so many ways. For you personally, but you as an organization and as a team, can you hold yourself to be accountable and can you hold others accountable in a way that will make them want to continue performing at their best for your team and your organization?

00:00:34:11 - 00:00:51:18
Speaker 1
And I think it sounds like it's just something that like as soon as we started talking about doing the podcast, accountability was always in the back of my mind. And if we had three days, accountability would be one of them. But I also think it's it's also woven into a lot of the other stuff that we've talked about.

00:00:52:23 - 00:01:01:23
Speaker 1
But I think on its own, it's something that people overlook so much and they try to put their finger on it, but they can't like what is it, right?

00:01:03:02 - 00:01:25:01
Speaker 2
You're talking about food had A's and I'm starting to think about the alphabet and where we're at our book, my words, that's we're going to do and we're going to go like, hey, is this B? Is that C? That's a lot going on. We want to stick to a standard of nine, but accountability is at the top. And it's funny you say that I'm recurrently reading Bernie Brown's book and that name slips me.

00:01:25:01 - 00:01:41:11
Speaker 2
I just look at the cover once in a while, so I'm too in the book but she talked. The number one thing is accountability. Little in her list literally is accountability. And Bernie, I'm sure you're listening to our show right now. I did get your email saying you're not taking other guests on right now or you can't come on other shows.

00:01:41:18 - 00:01:45:10
Speaker 2
And we appreciate you taking the time to answer us. Love it. I love it.

00:01:45:24 - 00:02:21:18
Speaker 1
And it the accountability stuff, I would say ask yourself, what do I have to do in terms of self-care and ability to ask yourself, what do I have to do now to live a productive life as an individual and as part of a collective right? Like, am I doing my part? And people again, terms that we've used in shows before, self honesty, self-responsibility, extreme ownership, these are things are like, am I doing what I need to do to be the best version of myself for everybody else around me.

00:02:22:02 - 00:02:22:10
Speaker 1
Right.

00:02:23:00 - 00:02:31:23
Speaker 2
And it's not easy. Like, for me personally, I'm using Way of Life app, and now habits share Do you think I feel like doing my pushups last night after like just I saw.

00:02:31:23 - 00:02:33:05
Speaker 1
That you did it. You checked in.

00:02:33:10 - 00:02:53:09
Speaker 2
I did. I did. But like it was is getting closer to midnight just gas from the day life is happening. And then for me, if I if I don't do it, basically if I told myself, hey, this is what you need to do and I don't do it like I feel terrible. Like I feel like hung over the next day, basically like, man, I get it and I get.

00:02:53:23 - 00:03:13:13
Speaker 2
And for our listeners the same time and this just how I feel personally it's not about being perfect. It's about being present. Okay. So like if you don't if I were hammered, I'll just push this yesterday at the end of the world. No. And my conscious of it. Yes. And I need to move on because accountability at the same time is not being it's not about being perfect.

00:03:13:13 - 00:03:33:08
Speaker 2
That's just me being hard on myself. I'm just speaking for personal experience. But I've had days meant where maybe I didn't do them for a day, maybe I didn't for two days. But for me, the difference is how long are you going to stay in the pity party? You know, how long you have this party for a day, two days, three days, and you're going to get back on the accountability train.

00:03:33:23 - 00:03:41:14
Speaker 2
So I think that's more important sometimes because I think and you can correct me if I'm wrong, you're you're going to fall off and that's 100% normal.

00:03:42:15 - 00:04:03:00
Speaker 1
Let's start off then. Like since we're taught you're talking about habit share and optimize. One of the things that I think we should start off and I always said this way back in an earlier show, having an accountability partner is huge. And if you don't have anybody use the mirror, the accountability mirror, which we described in a previous show.

00:04:03:22 - 00:04:18:13
Speaker 1
But so for example, Guy and I are accountability partners. We share the Habit Share app and we have simple things on there. Strength training, call mom, cardio stretching, pushups, reading.

00:04:18:20 - 00:04:19:15
Speaker 2
Make bed.

00:04:19:21 - 00:04:32:24
Speaker 1
Make your bed. These are all things that are on this app that allows me to keep text. While not that I'm like, Hey, you know, I bust your chops a little bit. You bust my chops. They haven't called your mom yet. This we give her a call.

00:04:32:24 - 00:04:33:24
Speaker 2
I did, I did.

00:04:34:07 - 00:04:53:16
Speaker 1
And I appreciate that. But like you say, if you don't do it, you kind of feel like you're hung over. You feel like there's this this cloud over top of you and it's not good. But what if somebody you work with them? So listen, this is great. You and I, we're into it, right? So let's just say you don't have that.

00:04:53:16 - 00:05:15:07
Speaker 1
And I always say the accountability mirror or the accountability wall is amazing because what you do is you take sticky notes and you put them up on the wall or the mirror or the mirror I like the mirror idea because you're facing yourself. And if you are in a situation where you're flying solo the mirror, you're it's you against you.

00:05:15:13 - 00:05:33:03
Speaker 1
And again, I've said this for a lot of different things in our show effort dropped a couple of weeks ago. I talked about it's you against you. You're putting on your own best foot forward on this. So if you're flying solo, you write stuff on the mirror, get a piece of you get some lipstick or something like that and write stuff on the mirror.

00:05:33:10 - 00:05:50:03
Speaker 1
Or soap or whatever it is. But leave yourself these notes that hold you accountable to all the tasks that you identify are essential for you to be productive, for you to be better. Right. Better today than yesterday. Better tomorrow than today.

00:05:50:24 - 00:06:10:15
Speaker 2
Mark is always going to be rattled with the lipstick to bar soap. So as you can tell, our podcast isn't doing very well right now. I splurged and I bought out a dry erase marker. People. Those are things dry race markers. It's guys using soap. It is a waste lipstick. So please donate. We have a GoFundMe page for and.

00:06:12:03 - 00:06:13:17
Speaker 1
I promise I won't give it to the trucker's.

00:06:14:14 - 00:06:18:23
Speaker 2
Guide. So anyway, I have a dry and it's funny on my beer.

00:06:19:00 - 00:06:27:02
Speaker 1
You know, it's funny. It's funny that you say that because I don't have any dry. I have a I have a big whiteboard in our weight room here at home.

00:06:27:03 - 00:06:27:24
Speaker 2
So what do you use?

00:06:28:06 - 00:06:30:19
Speaker 1
I have one dry erase marker that I believe just.

00:06:31:02 - 00:06:33:09
Speaker 2
Comes you're probably looking at to make sure that you done it.

00:06:33:09 - 00:06:49:05
Speaker 1
You know what you do. Here's a little I'm going to give you a life hack. And I saw one of the teachers at school taught me this. You take a string and you tie it to the dry erase marker so that the tip is away and you swing it around and it forces all the ink to the end.

00:06:49:05 - 00:06:50:21
Speaker 1
Is that science or what.

00:06:51:05 - 00:06:57:18
Speaker 2
I like it lot. I like it Jim Carrey, thank you. I like a lot. So I'm going to use that one.

00:06:57:23 - 00:07:05:09
Speaker 1
You're going to know I'm going I'm going to end up like we I'm sure we have some listeners packages of dry erase markers show up in my front door here.

00:07:06:05 - 00:07:24:12
Speaker 2
Oh, man, I live. If you look at my mirror now, I literally have a weight I'm trying to achieve and I have the date for a book. I literally have the date that I want us to finish our book, a written on my account, and I'm here. So, you know, I brush my teeth two or three times a day looking at it cold, my hair in the morning, looking at it and it's there literally.

00:07:24:12 - 00:07:41:21
Speaker 2
It's in my face consistently. Right. And I pick that up pretty much about you because I use a kind of bull in a different way. And then you introduce the sticky notes. And I remember you talked about that. I was like, man, that's that's a great idea. So I started buying into that part. But that's that's a great example to be able to use is on America's literally you see that on a consistent basis or.

00:07:41:22 - 00:08:00:02
Speaker 1
Well, and you have to talk to people, too, because if when we before we started the podcast and the talk the idea of of really producing a book and writing a book we set it we were saying it to people, important people in our lives. And they might have been like these two jokers, they're never going to get through with this.

00:08:00:02 - 00:08:15:14
Speaker 1
Right. And I thought, you know, we're going to do this. And it's Ed's idea of proving people wrong. If you just keep it within yourself, it's it's vaulted. And I think if you put it out there, it makes you more accountable that you're actually going to get to doing it. Right.

00:08:15:18 - 00:08:32:11
Speaker 2
I just heard you say this now, and we'll have this conversation. Obviously, this isn't a we're going to have a courageous conversation for a second. I've heard that. I haven't heard that during the Super Bowl. I've heard that. I don't know how many times are people trying to be kept saying, I'm trying to prove people wrong. Like I'm listening to commercials for the Olympics.

00:08:32:11 - 00:08:49:14
Speaker 2
And people said I wouldn't make it. I honestly would like to flip the script on that instead of saying I'm trying to prove people wrong, how about you prove yourself right? How about you prove yourself right instead and becomes about you? Not necessarily with the white noise. Could be on the outside. Prove yourself right. I get it. I trust me.

00:08:49:14 - 00:09:04:21
Speaker 2
I've used it I do it. I'm trying to flip the script in my brain because if I'm just trying to prove everything to everybody else, I need to be accountable to myself. Yeah, everybody else. Like in a leadership role, you do you need to be accountable to others. So that might be a different anyways. I'm just trying to bring a different angle to that one.

00:09:04:21 - 00:09:32:11
Speaker 1
I totally agree. And speaking of the Super Bowl, you and I talked about this. I'm a football coach. I like football, love football. I love coaching football. I love watching football. It's a great thing. However, it's part of my accountability. That's 3 hours. If you're watching the pre-game and all that stuff, it's a three hour event. If you are sitting on your ass for 3 hours watching ultra fit people run around and you're not doing anything for yourself, other than just watching that 3 hours.

00:09:32:23 - 00:09:55:21
Speaker 1
You're not being accountable. You're not being true to yourself. If you just want to sit there with a pile of beers and a pile of corn chips and hot dogs and wings and that's your thing. And no disrespect to you, but are you maybe this is your thing. Maybe during commercials you rebuffed 20, 25 pushups. You hold a plank for you know, you do little steps along the way.

00:09:55:21 - 00:10:14:23
Speaker 1
Every first down I got to do 20 jumping jacks or something like that. Right. So to me, like watching TV, not doing something like I might be watching TV with a laptop and doing some stuff. Now there are some times where I dialed in, we're having family movie night. I'm dialed into it just to watch TV. To watch TV is not something I do anymore.

00:10:14:23 - 00:10:30:05
Speaker 1
It's been a few years now that I was like, I can't sit there for that long to do it. I'm stretching you know, like, like I don't sit on the couch. I'll, I'll be stretching. The ham is people complain all the time that they're they're tight. Well, if you're sitting for long periods of time, you're not doing yourself any favors.

00:10:30:18 - 00:10:53:24
Speaker 1
So are you accountable to yourself? So back to what you were saying. You have to be accountable for yourself first. Okay. This is where I like your be a better coach. You'll be a better father. You'll be a better brother, sister and uncle, whatever you may be, if you are accountable to taking care of some self care of yourself first.

00:10:54:13 - 00:11:14:08
Speaker 1
I know they know here, like if I go an extended period of time with out for me, I love mountain biking out in the woods, hiking in the forest. Like I need to be outside, I need to be outdoors. It's refreshing it's cleansing. It's amazing. If I don't do that, I'm not. I'm a different person. I don't know.

00:11:14:08 - 00:11:20:18
Speaker 1
I'm a different person. I work. I'm better for everybody. Else if I'm taking care of myself, you must be the same.

00:11:21:07 - 00:11:35:18
Speaker 2
Yeah, well, you and I had shared that before. The example of for the Super Bowl, we're using a Super Bowl. It's not that I don't watch the Super Bowl. We just talked about this. I don't know how many years back. I was sharing a story of the mess I was watching. I don't college football game. I don't know what it was.

00:11:36:10 - 00:11:54:21
Speaker 2
And I was sitting there watching and it hit me. I'm like, what am I doing? Watching of them compete. I want somebody to watch me compete. And if I want somebody to watch me compete on some stage, I got to get after it. I can be watching people compete. Yeah. So then it turned to, you know, stuff during commercials, like, you know, for for some of the athletes who work with like, you know, a tennis ball.

00:11:54:21 - 00:12:15:14
Speaker 2
We talked about Miami back in the day that squishes for your fliers, like do it during the commercial break. Like anything, watch it on your laptop while you're on the treadmill, on the elliptical. There's just a bunch of other options and it's how it takes. And it goes back to the story you shared. And I always love that story where the student athlete had talked to you about let's go round the hill instead of going to grad party or whatever it was.

00:12:15:18 - 00:12:39:21
Speaker 2
Yeah, that is gold because I like why do people I've asked some people who it's called sweat, sweat before, scream, sweat before screen so before you look at your phone every morning to see what's going on in the world, take care of yourself, first of all. So sweat before scream. But when you talk to a lot of people who get after it in the morning before even the sunrises, you know, they're going for a run in the street or in the bush or wherever they're doing.

00:12:40:14 - 00:13:00:15
Speaker 2
And you talk to them. They love when they're alone out there. It's just them in the street lights or that calm. So when you think about example, we use the example of a Super Bowl, how many people are not doing something like that because they're caught on television. So it's like almost you're taking advantage of an opportunity where the world is almost on pause and you're getting better.

00:13:00:15 - 00:13:02:03
Speaker 2
That's kind of a little bit of the mindset anyway.

00:13:02:09 - 00:13:03:00
Speaker 1
Love it.

00:13:03:09 - 00:13:06:19
Speaker 2
Love it. It's a night where today is Valentine's Day.

00:13:08:09 - 00:13:27:04
Speaker 1
I it along those lines. If I don't hold myself accountable, I feel like I lose the right to hold other people accountable. Like, I can't say they're like you, come on, you and your pushups. And I'm sitting here eating like, you know, bullies, whatever you know, something unhealthy can think. It was an.

00:13:27:04 - 00:13:41:15
Speaker 2
Example. I was in the locker room getting them done because it just became a habit. I think I can share some weird stories where I did where I did pushups because it was just like I got to get this done and the time is ticking. Yeah. And somebody walked in, I was doing my pushups, like, well, how come you're not doing it this way or that way?

00:13:41:15 - 00:14:06:24
Speaker 2
And I bit my tongue and I'm sitting there you have no idea. Like, no idea. But that's the thing, man. That's the thing about everything around you. Nobody has a clue what you're dealing with, which you're actually what you're trying to do. And everyone will be a critic. This person wasn't saying it to be mean or anything like that, but that's exactly what's happening when you're holding yourself at a certain standard or accountable it's just going to come like that or stuff.

00:14:06:24 - 00:14:10:12
Speaker 2
And you got to watch that. You got to just block it out, box it out. If you're a basketball.

00:14:10:12 - 00:14:19:07
Speaker 1
Player, noise, that's just noise, right? People are talking and doing whatever, but they go back to the Super Bowl. Well, that's not cool. I'm not trying to be cool. I'm trying.

00:14:19:07 - 00:14:19:19
Speaker 3
To better.

00:14:20:09 - 00:14:48:12
Speaker 1
It's not it's not cool to be a loser, right? Like these are things that are like a shocker. Here's a shocking statement I'm going to make. It's controllable right now. Account ability is a controllable. You are in control of what you do, right? And if you make a mistake, what was it, Jason Coon? We were on a close Navy SEAL says you have absolute control over what you do next.

00:14:49:00 - 00:15:08:21
Speaker 1
So great. This past Super Bowl, you didn't do pushups at halftime or in between plays. You got the next one. You got the next one, right? And you're going to you're going to rethink about this. And it's not about being, again, like we're not trying to be cool. We're trying to be better. Right? Better today than yesterday. Better tomorrow than today.

00:15:09:09 - 00:15:10:20
Speaker 1
Love it for the mentality.

00:15:10:20 - 00:15:32:18
Speaker 2
I take a little bit with this, too. Is I lose my fight with this one sometimes when there's a fire, the you pull the fire alarm is that simple. But I'm trying to trying to make this more complicated. Than it is. Yeah. You want to be the fire alarm for people. Just let that sink in. When utter chaos is happening, the building is burning, things are going crazy.

00:15:33:00 - 00:15:49:13
Speaker 2
You want to be the fire alarm for everybody else because you're going to be cool, calm. You've kept yourself in the right frame of mind. You're not run around like, you know, what's going on. Where should I be? What should I do for me anyways? From a leadership perspective, you want to be that person. Like, take a deep breath.

00:15:49:16 - 00:15:57:23
Speaker 2
Come. Here's the exits. This where you should do. Not saying I have a perfect either, but that's what I'm for me personally, that's what I'm trying to build to, to be the fire alarm.

00:15:58:08 - 00:16:20:14
Speaker 1
Yup. And it was an interesting somebody asked me the other day question, and they're like in their mid-twenties and they said, I'm thinking about moving. Like I'm just turned thinking about moving away, starting over, all that stuff. What should I do? And I was like, well, what, what are you trying to accomplish? Right. So they said, Well, I want to start a new life.

00:16:20:14 - 00:16:35:23
Speaker 1
I want to get a new job. I want to do this stuff. I want to work remotely. I want to be there. But I'm worried about what my family's going to think. And I was like, well, in terms of like family, are you talking about like your wife and kids are you talking about like your cousin? Are you talking about like your your mom and dad?

00:16:35:24 - 00:16:42:11
Speaker 1
What's going on? He's like, well, yeah, I'm kind of worried about what my my extended family might think if I leave the area.

00:16:42:20 - 00:16:43:11
Speaker 2
The nest.

00:16:43:19 - 00:17:00:23
Speaker 1
The nest. I was like, dude, like, get out. Like, as long as your inner circle, which to me is like, yeah, the important. Everybody's important, but the inner circle of as long as I'm responsible for what I'm doing to my wife and my kids and I could still do that, like, go do your thing. It's your life. You got to live your life.

00:17:00:23 - 00:17:17:23
Speaker 1
You got to do your thing right. You have to be accountable to yourself. 20 years down the road, are you going to sit there and say, Man, I had an opportunity and I didn't do it because I needed to be you know, close. There's these are all the courageous conversations that people have to have with themselves, right?

00:17:18:12 - 00:17:30:20
Speaker 2
I found that with athletes, like, do you want to be the guy or the girl in the bar seeing how you could have shit or what? Right. And you guys were drinking your third pitcher of beer, or do you want to be like, Hey, man, I gave it a shot. It happened. It didn't happen. That is what it is.

00:17:30:20 - 00:17:41:18
Speaker 2
But that's that's you're drinking some bitter beer. If that's the situation you're in, you're living with regret. We're all living with regret. I have some. Don't get me wrong, but that's the thing. You just.

00:17:43:00 - 00:18:10:04
Speaker 1
So. Yeah, so to me, it's like it starts with you. You have to, no matter what, nobody is going to tell you that you everybody else is more important than you are. The most important person, the hold accountable. Then you go, then you work outwards. And then as that circle expands, you have far more clout control abilities. If you hold yourself accountable to yourself, then your wife, your kids, your, your, your significant other.

00:18:10:20 - 00:18:31:22
Speaker 1
And then now you're looking at your team. I'm a coach and I've got everything else, you know, let's say handled and now you're working on your team. And now let's shift gears a little bit. Say, how do I hold somebody else accountable? How do I hold a player accountable? How do I hold a student accountable? How do I hold my kids accountable?

00:18:32:14 - 00:18:46:04
Speaker 1
How do you teach that? How do you get that for somebody who's first of all, what does it mean right my missing practices, am I late for class with no repercussion? To me, that's what let's define what accountability means first. Right? But maybe we should have started with that.

00:18:46:04 - 00:19:13:03
Speaker 2
A.G. I don't doesn't have like a dictionary necessarily definition because I personally think it's it's going to be different for others. We're gonna have a general theme. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. I want to go back because you built this up and I apologize. We're going to go back to that right now. But you built this up back to the accountability piece, like how would you explain that when you said at the beginning to be at the core and you got to take care of yourself for some listeners, because I hear it sometimes, too.

00:19:13:03 - 00:19:31:04
Speaker 2
And it sounds selfish. It might sound selfish and this is I'm going to take this approach to this because I've been in that situation where I was getting ready for that marathon I talked about. I'm getting ready for the marathon. I'm downstairs and then this is the day I'm trying to stretch myself out before I'm leaving for Arizona to run my marathon.

00:19:31:20 - 00:19:44:13
Speaker 2
And I'm going like we had a family function where I think we were going to the movies as a family we had this plan for a while and we're supposed to leave an example 2:00. It was a matinee, it's cheaper. And we put our accountability with so on.

00:19:44:13 - 00:19:49:13
Speaker 1
The managers teachers are tighter than tree bark when it comes to money.

00:19:52:03 - 00:20:07:18
Speaker 2
So yeah, this was such a serious story. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, I. I went with the something, so it's getting close to 2:00. We're supposed to leave and my wife comes in and she says, Are you ready to go? And I still had probably five miles to go. So it was going to be all the time.

00:20:08:17 - 00:20:31:14
Speaker 2
And my competitiveness wanted to tell my wife to wait till I'm done and we're good to go. And then it sink in. I'm like, This is my family. This is time we're spending together. This is being selfish. Of, like, taking my time for them. So I shut down the treadmill. As hard as that was for me. It sounds weird to people, maybe, but that was hard for me to do because I'm trying to ramp up a competitive blah, blah, blah, so I shut her down.

00:20:32:03 - 00:20:48:23
Speaker 2
But then now that I think and we're having this conversation today, I should have did a better job with time management. I should've knew when we were leaving approximately what should it took me for time? Because it sounds selfish, like you need to take care of yourself. Yes, but take care of yourself when others don't need you. Oh, that's deep.

00:20:48:23 - 00:21:04:13
Speaker 2
I just made that up. Take care of yourself when others don't need you. And that's going to be a sacrifice sometimes early in the morning when people are sleeping or they're gone or whatever it is. But be selfish but be selfish in a in a constructive way. And often the next day.

00:21:04:13 - 00:21:22:07
Speaker 1
I totally, totally get it. And now you get that freedom that early morning, you have that free. It's just works. I mean, or when kids are in bed later on. Yeah. I mean, honestly, you and I either we record before and everybody's up or after everybody goes to bed. Most of our shows, we that's the way we do it because.

00:21:22:07 - 00:21:43:11
Speaker 2
And it's funny, I still talk. So my college either coaches or people are in baseball. I'm sure it's the same in every sport. And you can get any collegiate baseball coach or any hardcore baseball coach 11:00 midnight guarantee you text them, they're going to answer you. It's crazy. And I've sent emails, I had a good friend of mine say, Send the coach for Vanderbilt.

00:21:44:16 - 00:22:12:10
Speaker 2
God, baseball's look in my mind right now, Tim Corbin would get amazing amazing. Vanderbilt's college World Series, their studs, he says, watch. He goes I guarantee you sending him a message to emails you back by like four 30 in the morning whatever God's honest truth next day I was like four 37 emails back like I think he's one of those like he just gets it done and like his inbox must be zero because he literally takes care of business for himself and everything else and then got like, that's unreal.

00:22:12:14 - 00:22:13:12
Speaker 2
Unbelievable.

00:22:13:12 - 00:22:33:00
Speaker 1
God. Speaking of inboxes, one of my dear friends and he's going to listen to this and he's going to laugh because for the last five or six years he's got an inbox. I don't know how, how it works, man, but like I see one little and like one or two on my inbox. I got to respond like I try to be quick.

00:22:33:00 - 00:22:39:01
Speaker 2
So how do you handle that as an adult? Because you get tons and tons of stuff as an elder. Like, I was going crazy.

00:22:39:09 - 00:22:46:18
Speaker 1
I filter some stuff, I respond to sound and respond later or draft needs need to meditate on it.

00:22:47:01 - 00:23:00:18
Speaker 2
I remember first couple of years as A.D., I had every you name me a company, was trying to sell something. I had stacks of their books. I had like everything. So I felt like I felt like I had to do everything I did. Like, I got to get back to these guys. I got to get back to these guys.

00:23:00:18 - 00:23:06:16
Speaker 2
But it didn't like you said, it didn't probably I don't know. You tell me how you played that. Is it different when you're like Mach 1.0 80.

00:23:06:18 - 00:23:32:15
Speaker 1
Two or huge. Some people I don't even like. I hate to say it, but dusters on the shelf not going to like forget it, you know? So you learn how to slice up your time to who you're going to slice up your time too, you know, for us vendors and stuff like that, I know who I trust and you know, people that I, I just stop responding if it's a vendor that I like, you get so many of those I put it is spam, it just goes to spam.

00:23:33:04 - 00:23:59:04
Speaker 1
But my back to my buddy, he runs a food company here in town in like a produce company and he's got like 10,000 unread emails. 10,000. That's the number on his phone. And I had, we were, we were camping at the cottage last summer and I was like, dude, I'm going to take a half a day and I'm clearing your emails he's like, No, no, it's okay.

00:23:59:04 - 00:24:20:15
Speaker 1
I'm like, I couldn't, I'm sweating. I'm thinking, I'm like, I want to cry. But it's amazing how I was like in his voice this last like, oh my God, I like one of these days, I'm just going to go and answer all these emails from and be kind of be a secretary. But yeah, it's one of those things you got to know how to slice up your time and for some people, it's to the hour, and for some people it's to the minute.

00:24:21:03 - 00:24:47:22
Speaker 1
Yeah, right. It really depends. So here's what it is. Now, you've you've held yourself accountable and now you're looking at your team and your players. And and again, I love how you said it. It's there's no hard and fast definition. Well, let's start with one being a good teammate, right? Because we know we've said this and it bugs me to no end when people are not good teammates to each other.

00:24:47:22 - 00:25:08:07
Speaker 1
That is probably my biggest annoyance as a coach. I think it's the biggest roadblock for me as a coach to try to get over and try to work on like forgettable playing man to man or zone defense. If I don't get along with you or my not accountable for you, it's not going to work fundamentally. I don't have to love you.

00:25:09:05 - 00:25:32:15
Speaker 1
There's the word again. But you know, I don't have to be you know, not. But we have to be accountable to each other when we arrive and it's every sport, every sport. I'm not like a Canadian women's Olympic hockey team. The camaraderie on that team watching them kind of go through this. We interviewed Emma. We're going to have her back on the show to have a debrief about the Olympics.

00:25:32:15 - 00:25:56:01
Speaker 1
But each one of those players, they talked about it they were a account, they had a role, they played the role, they knew where to rule was and they accepted their roles. And I think playing for one another again, service over status. That's one of our taglines. Don't ever forget it's service over status. And then are you playing again?

00:25:56:01 - 00:26:20:00
Speaker 1
At each other with each other or for each other? Identify that, because if you're not accountable to being a good teammate, the little things. Okay, the little things, I'll give you one. And this is this is a nonstarter for me as a hockey coach or a lacrosse coach. If you're changing, you know, I'll say, actually, you know what?

00:26:20:05 - 00:26:41:13
Speaker 1
Baseball as well line change on a hockey player and they start coasting before they come at you, sprint to the bench. So the next person came off because if you're half assing it back to the bench on a line change. Gasol coaches watch this. And if this isn't important to you, I'm not sure I can respect you as a hockey coach.

00:26:41:13 - 00:26:58:10
Speaker 1
I'm just going to I'm fired up this morning. So is this kid is coming to the bench at a quarter speed half half speed without hustle is basically sending a message to the person that's replacing them to their time on the ice is not important.

00:27:00:12 - 00:27:23:01
Speaker 1
Lacrosse would you like change you get to come there's a there's a change zone and look feel on time field lacrosse you have to come into a box. That's where you change somebody is waiting for you to get off the field so that they can go on and play. Right. I hate seeing players walk off a baseball field I hate seeing football players walk off a football field.

00:27:23:08 - 00:27:48:21
Speaker 1
You should be hustling everywhere. Show a little bit of enthusiasm a little bit of pep in your step, a little of idea, like I have somewhere to go. I got to be there. I don't know. I'm sorry, but it's it's really important to me. These are the little things that add up to a huge thing. I was watching an NCAA Division One men's game the other night.

00:27:48:24 - 00:28:17:07
Speaker 1
At Dartmouth against you. Third period one nothing game. Okay. Read, catch, read. Cashman is the head coaches Dartmouth men's hockey team a player and it was it was interesting because we were talking about this, you know, like my daughter and I because I say like this is the one. It's a controllable get off the ice. Like you're tired to get off the air like you're going hard and all of a sudden you're going to the crows on the ice like it's Sunday's game.

00:28:17:18 - 00:28:46:08
Speaker 1
A player it was the long changes on the far side and he started coasting kind of like through the center circle, like face off circle. This is like maybe 3 minutes left in the third period in a One-Nothing game. And it was a long change for him. And the coach I saw, he is he kind of indicated to him that he was disappointed that he didn't hustle on the ice because for maybe a second or second and half or 2 seconds, they were playing with four guys on the ice.

00:28:46:19 - 00:29:06:10
Speaker 1
Right. So this is so important. This is something that's like I am sending a bad message to my teammates and my team. If I'm not hustling, if I'm not showing up on time, for practices or meetings or whatever. Right. Accountability. I don't know if you want to define it. Everybody can define it. How they want to define it.

00:29:07:16 - 00:29:19:24
Speaker 1
I like you're going to make mistakes on plays. That's not to me, that's not accountability. They could see blow assignments. That's a mistake. But if you can control the controllable you're going to have success as a team.

00:29:21:14 - 00:29:45:24
Speaker 2
Good teams, good teams are the coaches hold them accountable for good teams. Coaches hold them accountable. Great teams, players hold each other accountable. That is the game changer difference. That's what we talk about often about coach leader or, you know, player led. Do you want to be clear? You want to be coach fed men. You want to be player led, not coach fed.

00:29:45:24 - 00:30:01:03
Speaker 2
You want to be player led. And I think that's a big piece of the puzzle. Like you're saying, I didn't even think about it. Now that I think back you were talking about hockey and then coming off and you and I had coached together this fall and we had a player we had to pull to the side and kind of have that conversation.

00:30:01:15 - 00:30:17:19
Speaker 2
Now, I remember you telling me about this player and I was just saying, hey, man, this kid's works his butt off. And so on, you know, go, go, go, go. Just weight room and hitting and running. He does it all. And then he has a bad day, pops up to the outfield, jogging to first base, and we both kind of looked at each other right away, like that's not going to fly.

00:30:18:09 - 00:30:30:03
Speaker 2
That is definitely not going to fly, but teach them. Yeah, but that's the thing. It wasn't like you're yelling at them and we belittle them in front of everyone. It was a conversation, you know, like, what do we what would you say again? You said praise in public and then.

00:30:30:17 - 00:30:33:20
Speaker 1
Praise in public and like discipline in private.

00:30:34:00 - 00:30:51:17
Speaker 2
Yeah. So we just kind of had that conversation basically in a controlled setting saying, hey, you know, someone's to watch the game today. And they're driving their vehicle, driving back, and they remember do you think they would remember about you said, I don't remember how many hits you had. I don't remember. I remember that last play, how you jogged over to first base.

00:30:52:02 - 00:30:58:18
Speaker 2
Yeah. So that, again, is us holding them accountable. But if I'm a teammate in that situation playing, I'm having that conversation with my teammates.

00:30:59:00 - 00:31:13:02
Speaker 1
I always like to say, hey, this is how we do things here. That's just something. When new players join teams and you get the veteran players say, Hey, this is how we like to do things here, that's that's part of the culture, right? You look like you're fired up to that.

00:31:13:03 - 00:31:16:06
Speaker 2
Well, you know, share a story. You know, the story.

00:31:16:06 - 00:31:16:15
Speaker 1
Time.

00:31:17:09 - 00:31:37:13
Speaker 2
I was at school, man. I haven't said this story in public. I don't know if I want to say I'll say it. I'll just leave out some parts. Okay. So I'm at school. I won't name the school right now. And we had a transfer player from a bigger school. Let's just leave it at that. A bigger school and I think he thought he was just going to come and we were beneath him basically.

00:31:37:13 - 00:31:55:24
Speaker 2
And we're running a drill. Coaches had a meeting with us, literally third base side, the South do things that. So we're going to do it. So now we're jogging back to go throw down the rifle line. And I kind of hear him. And if it's bashing the program or just was wasn't pulling on the same rope, let's just leave it at that.

00:31:57:03 - 00:32:11:03
Speaker 2
And I addressed it with him. And I remember our head coach at the time saying, if you ever have an issue with somebody, you go to the back of the dugout and you deal with it there. That's how we used to back in the day. I'm like, all right. And I would have got tune just for the record.

00:32:11:03 - 00:32:30:24
Speaker 2
I would have got tuned up again. I'm not even going to lie. And I get home and I got to play tough here. I would have got tuned up and I just said, Hey, man, this is how we do things here. And like, we're going to have to settle this. So we're walking to the back of the dugout, and then where I am facing the street, let's say, and he's facing the field, and I could just kind of see something in his face.

00:32:30:24 - 00:32:49:10
Speaker 2
I'm like, Oh, man, this is the last I'm going to see this face. And for myself. And then I, I could just see someone's face and I turn around. All of my teammates were behind me. Every single one of my teammates were behind me. And that's when it clicked that nobody is bigger than the team, no one is bigger than the program.

00:32:49:19 - 00:33:08:00
Speaker 2
And it doesn't matter how tough you are because you don't do anything as an individual. You do it as a team. And you can say, I you know, I figure skating. You have a coach, you have a support network around you. And one of the best commercials I've ever seen was when Team Canada men's hockey, when they had caves for Team Canada for an tire.

00:33:08:15 - 00:33:23:18
Speaker 2
And it just kind of like it's all the people that supported him specifically through his camera by himself. This literally could be the guy who changed literally your tire just to make sure you can get to where you're going because your winter tires, you know, where this is going anyway. So that's what it takes. It's not about you.

00:33:23:21 - 00:33:26:04
Speaker 2
It's literally not about you.

00:33:26:09 - 00:33:28:10
Speaker 1
You were the fire alarm in that situation.

00:33:28:10 - 00:33:28:16
Speaker 3
Hey.

00:33:29:10 - 00:33:52:15
Speaker 1
You were the fire alarm. And that's courage. That's courage. Now, you just brought something else up. And I don't know if I want to go down this rabbit hole as teachers, but I'm going to logic I'm going to lodge a complaint, a formal complaint. Parenting has changed a lot. I'm going to blame the parent. If so, remember that we say this the player is not the problem.

00:33:53:06 - 00:34:18:16
Speaker 1
The problem is the problem. Yes, you have a kid. Okay, I can say that again. The player is not the problem. The problem is the problem. So if you have a kid who is bigger than the program, if you have a kid that is not showing up on time. Yeah. Gee, I get the lot of you coach a lot age groups right now.

00:34:19:04 - 00:34:43:10
Speaker 1
They're they're getting rides from parents, right? If you can't get your kid there on time, get somebody else to drive them. If you can't get there and get them in a cab, get them to their that you've made a commitment, you're accountable. Be there. Right. So and I look at now, when you turn a certain age, you know that that slows down to the the athlete, the person.

00:34:44:03 - 00:35:10:13
Speaker 1
But I, I first look at the parents and what they're doing for the kid. Are they too scared and this is what it is or are they not skilled enough as parents to hold their kids accountable? Right. We're seeing it in school. There's a bunch of teachers out there right now throwing their arms up saying, yeah, yeah. And there's a bunch of parents are saying, no, I lost my little Johnny you know, or my little Suzy.

00:35:11:12 - 00:35:26:24
Speaker 1
That's not true. That's not the point. Are you snow plowing? Are you a snow plow parent, which is far worse than a helicopter parent is a helicopter parent. They're just surveying from a distance. But the the snowplow parent now for our friends in the southern United States.

00:35:26:24 - 00:35:28:14
Speaker 2
Is about to stay in a twist.

00:35:28:14 - 00:35:43:03
Speaker 1
This that lawnmower, we'll call them the lawnmower parents. I don't know something like that. But you're cutting the grass for the kid. You're doing it. They're not learning that idea of accountability. You said it earlier to like perfect is is fake. You said you.

00:35:43:03 - 00:35:43:12
Speaker 2
Can't be.

00:35:43:16 - 00:36:17:23
Speaker 1
Perfect. You need to be present to me. Perfect. Is fake. But the idea is you kids, you know, like you're going to fail and you need to learn, like, okay, if I do this, so this is where blame complaint defend comes into play as well as hero event response outcome right. So are you yeah. Are you taking responsibility for your actions or are you going to continue to blame others for the situation that you're in?

00:36:18:09 - 00:36:20:06
Speaker 1
It's all part of accountability.

00:36:21:09 - 00:36:42:04
Speaker 2
I catch myself in usually it's grade nine where you teach in grade nine. For me anyways, where it's like you go into that class for me anyways. Whatever, great grade nine classes, whatever subject it is, it's like sometimes I take a deep breath open the door and go because, you know, it's setting the tone for the next four years is what you're doing basically.

00:36:42:07 - 00:36:57:03
Speaker 2
Right? So you're almost like you just almost gave birth to these great nines and you're like, this is how it's going to roll in this school for the next four years. And by the time you get to grade 12, that's why, you know, for the most part, people, teachers like for the most part, I'm assuming teach in grade 12 is because they've been through the system.

00:36:57:03 - 00:37:14:19
Speaker 2
They know the routine. So if they're not into the routine by grade 12, they're just not ever going to be into the routine. So you're kind of setting the tone in grade nine or freshman year for South of the Border listeners, the I went through this incident just recently, I'm talking to a student just kind of like I'm talking to you.

00:37:14:19 - 00:37:38:07
Speaker 2
And a student was coming in from the restroom and I don't know, restroom washroom. We'll figure that out for the listeners. Yeah. So instead of cutting across the conversation, the student stops while we're having a conversation. The student I like, it's a class discussion, but I'm giving you, you know, we're speaking about something irrelevant to class student waits, conversations over and the student walks through.

00:37:38:07 - 00:38:04:19
Speaker 2
I'm like, pause for the whole class is like, that is amazing. Yeah. And the student, even though they did, I said, what's so amazing? The students, she waited until a Congress that she could easily cut across. Don't care. This has nothing to do with me. She paused, waited for the conversation, was finished to respect. I don't know if she realized it, but she respected there was somebody else talking and then continued walking 10 minutes later, total opposite.

00:38:04:19 - 00:38:22:08
Speaker 2
I'm having a conversation with you and somebody is trying to ask you a question while I'm talking to you. So then I have to address that type of stuff. And I said, this isn't about math. Or religion, history, science. This is about how to be a person, a human being. Oh, right. That's what it's about. At the end of the day, not just necessarily a subject like this is life one.

00:38:22:08 - 00:38:24:11
Speaker 2
No one I guess some. You guys need some of it.

00:38:24:22 - 00:38:45:20
Speaker 1
I'll tell you, I'm there's a young man that I can remember. And it's funny because I'm sure like you, I get asked to write a lot of reference letters for kids, and I have no problem saying no. And I think people now know where they stand with me if they'll get a reference letter or not. And that's a funny story about the reference.

00:38:45:23 - 00:39:10:18
Speaker 1
I think I said I don't know if I told the story about the Nike outlet that kid thought falsified a reference letter from me. I have to come back to that one. Okay. But this person would look you in the young person. This is this is something that, again, parents, don't give me this, my kid's got this, and my kid's got to teach your kid to look an adult in the eye and say hello.

00:39:11:21 - 00:39:27:17
Speaker 1
Right. Like, how many times a kids are there? Oh, they're shy and they hide behind the parents. Like, I used to take my kids. Like, you're going to say hi to Jill. You're going to say, hey, you know, if somebody says hi to you, if I'm there, it's like, okay, stranger danger, all that stuff. Or We don't like strangers.

00:39:28:07 - 00:39:33:10
Speaker 1
But lightning, teach your kid at a young age to look somebody in the eye and say Hello. How are you?

00:39:33:20 - 00:39:45:02
Speaker 2
Order at a restaurant. Have your kid order at if you were a restaurant advocate order for themselves. That's like a baby step. But I think that's to an adult or adult figure. It's the same concept we were talking about and.

00:39:45:03 - 00:40:08:01
Speaker 1
Probably one probably contradicting a thousand parenting books here. But I'm calling bullshit on real life stuff for like I'm calling bullshit to be like let them be themselves. Let the kid, you know, if they're shy that know if you're going to be functioning you cannot hide in behind me. I'm not hiding behind my mom's leg at 48 years old, you know what I mean?

00:40:08:01 - 00:40:26:18
Speaker 1
I'm not sitting there. I actually have to interact with human beings. So at a young age, teach people to say hello to people, you know, like I think that's just a basic look somebody in the eyes so I had a kid ask me for a reference letter. I was like, man, I'm sorry, but I, I can't really give you a reference letter.

00:40:26:18 - 00:40:43:21
Speaker 1
And he was like, why not? I was like, because you, you don't make eye contact. You don't, you know, you don't shake hands. Like, it's like it's just one of these things. Like, there's no, you know, it's, it's one I don't know you. There's no depth there. Look, you have to be okay. Like, to me, that's accountable. I can't put my name behind that, you know, for what it was doing.

00:40:43:21 - 00:40:48:18
Speaker 1
Like, it wasn't going to be somebody, like, public. He was going to be interacting with the public for this job. I was.

00:40:48:19 - 00:40:52:20
Speaker 2
It's it's almost you want to ask like, what do you think the letter is going to sound like? What do you think it would sound like.

00:40:52:20 - 00:41:12:13
Speaker 1
Or look like? Yeah. And I and I will I will write that in a reference letter for somebody. I had a young lady that I wrote a reference letter for a couple of years ago was for a scholarship. This was probably one of the most personable people I've ever known. And it was, you know, she'd thanked me after every single class is like, you don't have to thank me for this because this is my job.

00:41:12:13 - 00:41:31:19
Speaker 1
I get paid to do this. But she's like, No, just thank you. You're here. And I was like, she made me feel like she was one of those people that at the age of 17, I was like, I want to be like her. Like, she was just this. She brought that energy into the room every day. She would say hi to people.

00:41:32:01 - 00:41:46:24
Speaker 1
I remember seeing her in the hallway and I wrote this in a reference letter. There's a kid sitting in your locker eating lunch by herself, and she's like, Hey, how are you? Like your shoes. I think it was just an interaction and then kept going all day. Like, she didn't have to do that. Probably eight out of ten kids don't do that.

00:41:47:12 - 00:42:12:00
Speaker 1
So the parents, like I'm telling you right now, you get young kids, you put them in a situation where they can at least acknowledge that, saying they have to have a 30 minute conversation with an adult, but at least acknowledge and say hello, make eye contact. It's a simple skill of humanity. Don't give me any of this crap about the feelings and sensitivity sorry.

00:42:12:11 - 00:42:13:06
Speaker 2
No, I'm just gonna.

00:42:13:06 - 00:42:14:03
Speaker 1
Let the responses.

00:42:14:03 - 00:42:34:18
Speaker 2
Come in. Let's pause for a second for identification. I'm just kidding. Okay, good. I want to go back to the part you're talking about. A 17 year old and you're saying, man, like, I wish I could be a person like that. I talk to students or people in general, like we you don't get respect because you're a teacher, don't think you're getting in front of that classroom and you deserve respect.

00:42:34:18 - 00:42:53:05
Speaker 2
No, you don't. You earn that stuff. Because I'm going to tell you right now, is there some of those kids, even in grade nine, eight, seven, six, five, I don't care, in a classroom somewhere, they have more life experience than you do as an educator. And that's going to be a good thing or that's an unfortunate thing because you've had students who had to sleep on park benches.

00:42:53:12 - 00:43:17:24
Speaker 2
They use the Breakfast Club program because they have to they come in early and take showers before PE class because they don't even have PE that semester because that's the only place they can take a shower. Like they're going through stuff. You have no clue and they have more life experience. So like it or not, in my personal opinion, again, you need to earn that respect and you need to get a feel for your room and it's not your way or the high the highway.

00:43:18:06 - 00:43:36:23
Speaker 2
Again, just my opinion is ways of doing things. 100% get a feel for your room. I don't know if we're talking about accountability anymore, but you got to find out with some of that stuff. But it's true. It's it get a feel for your room and those students because just to say, oh, is he or she's only 14 or 15, you don't know what they've lived through, what they're currently going through.

00:43:36:23 - 00:43:43:16
Speaker 2
You have no idea unless you've kind of have you're just scratching the surface. If you'd look at somebody in the eye and vice versa, you get a feel for people, man.

00:43:44:02 - 00:43:53:21
Speaker 1
Stop teaching your subject. Start teaching your students to stop coaching your sport, start coaching your athletes.

00:43:54:21 - 00:43:56:07
Speaker 2
What do you remember about school?

00:43:58:21 - 00:43:59:06
Speaker 1
Oh.

00:44:00:07 - 00:44:01:17
Speaker 2
I'm sure I let you answer.

00:44:02:23 - 00:44:15:04
Speaker 1
No, you know what I actually say? Like high school for me wasn't there like, listen, I again, I wasn't popular. I always say, like, I married the first girl that paid any attention to me.

00:44:15:12 - 00:44:16:04
Speaker 2
That was a real thing.

00:44:16:11 - 00:44:42:08
Speaker 1
It was a real thing. And for me, high school was I was had good marks even though my kids laugh because back then you actually had to work for your grades. And although my kids saw my transcripts just like that, you said you were a good student. Now, I was like, yeah, back then, like, I think and I know there's a lot of parents right now, they're like, I said my 83 85 is like, you're 96 now.

00:44:42:12 - 00:45:01:05
Speaker 1
Okay, so let's just say that. So yes, parents there's, there's the, the accountability thing but I, I had good grades. I played all the sports. I hung out with the nerds, I hung out with the, the, the, the, the long hair I used to wear kiss t shirt like I had, I had a mullet. Like, I didn't really fit in.

00:45:01:05 - 00:45:03:10
Speaker 1
And I still, I didn't like I had, I fit in.

00:45:03:10 - 00:45:08:00
Speaker 2
Everyone was actually normal in high school at your time. But anyways, keep going yeah.

00:45:08:00 - 00:45:26:04
Speaker 1
That was tragically, but to me, I don't remember a grade 12 math lesson. I don't remember that. Right. And to me, I remember I remember being in the class and remember the people that cared about me. I remember the teachers like that. They gave me the time of day.

00:45:26:16 - 00:45:31:15
Speaker 2
I remain a positive test because that's where I wanted to go. Do you remember how people treated you? Do you remember?

00:45:31:15 - 00:45:54:04
Speaker 1
Yes. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly it. Absolutely. You know, so those are and it's funny because my friend Scott Mason, who was here, he was saying like how he remembered me and he said he had teachers on. We I'd go watch my other kids play sports. I used to love taking my kids to go like them when they were babies.

00:45:54:16 - 00:46:13:19
Speaker 1
We'd be like, Oh, Scott's playing hockey. Game, and tonight, let's go watch and play. I used to like I had Amanda was a girl that I used to to teach and train and is like playing soccer. Janelle's could watch or play soccer. Like, we take them. Take me and go watch these kids do great things. And these kids, they would chew through concrete because they know that we care.

00:46:14:04 - 00:46:27:08
Speaker 1
On another level, because I'm going to take the time out of my day to go watch. I thought it was really, really cool, right? Like, it's, it's I don't know, I just the way it was for us, I had I had teachers in high school. They used to come and watch me play sport, play baseball in the summertime.

00:46:28:09 - 00:46:45:14
Speaker 1
I was like, What do you do in here? Like Mr. Smith, Mr. Monu, they'd come out and I remember them watching me play ball game and now they had a couple of students that were playing, but they would they would come out in the summertime with their shorts. And it's kind of weird seeing them in like tank tops and shorts, but you're for them teacher.

00:46:45:14 - 00:46:59:13
Speaker 1
But they're human beings. And to me, I'm going to pay that forward. And I'll never forget that because they came out and watched me and supported me in something that I love doing. And I was like, Well, I'm going to do that. So I try to do that as much as I can.

00:47:00:18 - 00:47:06:17
Speaker 2
Apologize for laughing earlier. It's just when you say chewing through concrete, I can never take you serious when you say that. I love it, but I just can't take you seriously.

00:47:06:22 - 00:47:23:18
Speaker 1
The analogy, like I say, like to me, the best teammates are the ones that are you're going to be willing to chew through concrete for your teammate. And I just for the team, the better the team. It's a strong analogy, but that's that's what if you want to be the best, that's what it takes.

00:47:24:19 - 00:47:53:09
Speaker 2
It's when it ends and we go back, I guess if towards accountability. Again, we talked about the mark, talked about the mirror, the sticky notes, those ideas. And the other one is like we talked about each other having ourselves as an accountability partner. And I we're like saying is when you want to go 6 a.m. left somewhere and then you push the button like the snooze button and just like, you know, I don't feel like doing it today or on the flip side, you got to give I got to pick up Marc to bring him to the gym.

00:47:53:09 - 00:48:04:07
Speaker 2
And I got to call him Mark and say, man, I'm not feeling that today. What's he saying when he's jacked up and ready to go? So it's a lot like it's easier to give up on yourself. It's a lot harder to give up on somebody else.

00:48:04:16 - 00:48:29:24
Speaker 1
Speaking of accountability. So the story just reminded me of of following up on something. So I had the student was not necessarily a wonderful human being. And and one day I'm shopping and I, I'm at the Nike outlet and I go to pay credit card, and the manager looks at it. It was the manager that was helping me and Mark Messier.

00:48:31:13 - 00:48:49:22
Speaker 1
Dude, you wrote a reference letter for a kid that stole a bunch of stuff from us, and we had to fire them. And I was like, it was the kid. And they named the kid. And I was like, You, buddy, I would have wrote a letter that told you this person is a criminal and never hire them. Did you call me?

00:48:50:06 - 00:49:09:02
Speaker 1
So this manager just read the letter and didn't follow up with a phone call. Here's here's a pro tip for people that are hiring. You might want to call references, right? Like this kid and falsify it. It was good. He showed me the letter like they kept it because it was like evidence of some kind. And so this guy was mad at me.

00:49:09:02 - 00:49:17:04
Speaker 1
I was like, Dude, I would have never wrote this reference letter for this kid. So anyways, it was interesting. So they managers like, yeah, I should have called. I should have called.

00:49:17:10 - 00:49:19:14
Speaker 2
So basically the story.

00:49:20:05 - 00:49:42:22
Speaker 1
Accountability to me is something like, again, how do you want to define it? Mold it? It's not like don't create it, mold it through definable parameters, right? So it's like, again, we're we're going to take care of this. We're going to be on time. We're going to make our beds in the morning. It needs to be molded to into the parameters that dictate what needs to be done.

00:49:43:06 - 00:50:03:18
Speaker 1
Right. So you're setting a standard. You're and then every year trade improve on that standard a little bit. And then again, don't forget about trying to launch and go land on Mars when you're not even growing potatoes here on Earth. You know what I'm saying? So people sometimes they get so far ahead, but we're not taking care of what's directly in front of us.

00:50:03:24 - 00:50:06:17
Speaker 1
Right? So that accountability thing is huge.

00:50:08:06 - 00:50:22:08
Speaker 2
The analogy I like you, I like the potatoes of Mars and you come up with some good stuff. I think about the stuff with credit cards. That's why we were like, we love our credit cards is we want everything now. But we'd want to pay for it, you know? I mean, I don't want to save up to buy something.

00:50:22:08 - 00:50:25:12
Speaker 2
I want to pay off my credit card. I'll play and I'll pay interest forever.

00:50:26:04 - 00:50:26:12
Speaker 1
Yeah.

00:50:27:12 - 00:50:40:00
Speaker 2
It makes no sense, man. Literally makes it like guilty credit card. Not good. Yeah, but I'm trying to use the analogy in in this setup, we've got to pay the price now. You got to pay the price now for for the success down the road.

00:50:40:20 - 00:50:46:16
Speaker 1
Totally. And a lot of people don't want to pay the price because it's hard. It's just not cool.

00:50:47:07 - 00:51:08:19
Speaker 2
Play the long game play a long game. I'm starting to see a little bit of the planted seeds, and they're starting to grow. It's sucked. Gardening I mean, is gardening as an example? It's sucked gardening and start cleaning those seeds. Hopefully people are following the analogy I'm using here because I'm really trying to get on this one. It's sucked going out in the morning and watering it.

00:51:08:19 - 00:51:35:10
Speaker 2
It's turning over the soil. It's, you know, sucked not seeing anything happen. It's that all that stuff. Birds coming in to take some of the seeds away, like all that stuff. It sucks. But now you're five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten years down the road and you're like, Wow, it was worth it to me. It's worth it. It sucked at the time, and you're going to go through some adversity through that whole process, but play the long game with this stuff, with accountability, play the long game.

00:51:35:17 - 00:51:56:11
Speaker 2
And I said this in the past episode with the push ups. You know, I day one, I did one day, too. I did too. And I think about 86 today I think it is. But I could have did I get a banged out a bunch at the beginning. That's not the point. I'm trying mentally I am trying to prepare myself for when the extinguisher is going to be pulled down the road.

00:51:56:21 - 00:52:10:11
Speaker 2
For me, I have to build up to that. It's not something I'm going to get instantly. I have to build up to that because it sucks being consistent. Yeah. There you go. It sucks being consistent because it gets boring, but that's part of being accountable.

00:52:10:16 - 00:52:32:10
Speaker 1
But I think it's part of it and I think it was Stubby that told us embrace the boring. No, right? And when we talked to So be Clap, it was embrace the monotonous day to day tasks like making your bed. That stuff will make you better and make your team better. Like, how does making your bed equate to being a better teammate?

00:52:33:05 - 00:52:40:18
Speaker 1
Accountability trust if you're accountable, people will trust you. And so.

00:52:41:11 - 00:52:42:07
Speaker 2
You do. Some do it.

00:52:42:14 - 00:53:03:18
Speaker 1
This is a sports podcast, but we never talked about it once. In this about being, you know, all your X's and O's, and you're a very skilled player, right? Because none of that matters if you're a turd. Yeah. Right now are a duster. I like the term duster. If you're a duster shoe box, nothing else matters if you're a duster and you're not a good teammate.

00:53:03:20 - 00:53:23:02
Speaker 1
And that just it just bugs me. And I think what bugs me is I don't know why. I don't know why I'm feeling very passionate about this today. But when I see young kids and the parents are supporting it, you know what I mean? That is one that in it. That's a tough one for coaches, but I think that's for coaches.

00:53:23:24 - 00:53:31:22
Speaker 1
It's hard, but you have to have courageous conversations and be honest with a parent. To say your kid is not being a good teammate.

00:53:32:16 - 00:53:38:08
Speaker 2
I like using and I hope I'm seeing the right of entertaining. He's the one that bounces has like four or five teams. Now, you start with Winnipeg.

00:53:38:08 - 00:53:38:17
Speaker 1
The.

00:53:39:05 - 00:53:49:04
Speaker 2
Of entertain my modeling my kid after that like if you're bouncing around that many teams, there's a problem somewhere. There's a problem somewhere yeah.

00:53:49:05 - 00:54:08:13
Speaker 1
And again, like it's one of the we'll look at Emma. We talked about Emma Montez. She just won gold medal in the Olympics. She was you know, she was open and honest in our show talking about how she had a poor review about how her so-called attitude was, well, look at her now. And now she's you look at the way her teammates.

00:54:09:00 - 00:54:30:21
Speaker 1
She scored her first Olympic goal the other night. You look how her teammates celebrated. It was unreal. So, you know, she's obviously flip that it's change. You can control that but I think it's one of those things where you get on it early. And as coaches and leaders, you have to be courageous enough to tell people, parents and the kids feel like we need you to be a better teammate.

00:54:30:22 - 00:54:49:04
Speaker 1
You don't have to say, hey, you're a jerk, you're a duster. But you have that conversation, say, you know, you might be a good I'm going to mimic a conversation. So say let's collaborate Gabrielle with you and say, hey, you know, transgender, Nicole, we need to have a conversation that's like seeing some good things on the field or whatever your kids are doing.

00:54:49:09 - 00:55:06:10
Speaker 1
However, this is something that I think will serve you and him well in the coming years as he's developing to be a better teammate. And this is something I'd like to see you work on. And then if they don't do it well, then you'll be like you. You're going to have to move on. You're going to have to move on.

00:55:06:12 - 00:55:20:09
Speaker 1
And that's the way it is. You have to set parameters, definable parameters, controllable things, and then you celebrate it. So when that kids celebrates his teammate or does something really, really good, then you'd be like, Yeah, that's awesome. Appreciate that.

00:55:21:08 - 00:55:40:04
Speaker 2
26 report cards just came out. And the first part in the elementary school here anyways, the you're not necessarily learning skills. I'm not even saying that. Right. Not necessarily your grades at the beginning, just how you're doing in class, how you're reacting, how all that stuff is at the beginning. And then kind of like the subjects in the grade.

00:55:40:16 - 00:56:04:10
Speaker 2
We probably spent 20 minutes on what people call the soft stuff and kind of hammered through the other stuff because like to they're all controllable, don't get me wrong, but this stuff at the top for me because that looks like what's a good teammate, what's a good classmate, what's a good student look like? The rest of fall in place if you can take care of, you know, people kind of just brush through what's my grade, how are you as a person?

00:56:04:23 - 00:56:18:09
Speaker 2
And I mean, if you can figure it out as a person, the grades will come in because people want to go chew through concrete for you and be able to help you. Like it or not, teachers can be like that. And this kid puts such force and effort. He just there's it's not clicking and they're willing to go the distance with you.

00:56:18:09 - 00:56:25:03
Speaker 2
Nine out of ten teachers go the distance for you if you're willing to put in the work. But if you're just not cutting it, let's just say.

00:56:25:18 - 00:56:25:23
Speaker 3
This.

00:56:26:24 - 00:56:30:02
Speaker 2
Somewhere else. I'm old, but don't think asking me not at ten people. That's just my opinion.

00:56:30:10 - 00:56:54:12
Speaker 1
Well, and doesn't this apply in the real world, like business world? Forget about sports for a second. But if you're going to work and you're not treating your colleagues properly, isn't it the same thing? You know, there's an accountability there. And again, define what it is you want it to be. Define your role. If I define your role as a teammate, you understand it and just say, okay, here's what you need to do.

00:56:54:21 - 00:57:11:10
Speaker 1
You're going to cheer for your team. If you're not on the on the floor or on the ice, you can be a good teammate. You're not going to sit there and so you're not going to blame, complain defense. You're going to have that role. You're going to have that. So these are all things that are super important. And you can apply this in a factory job, an office job.

00:57:11:11 - 00:57:29:16
Speaker 1
It's a it's it's doable. Like it is so doable. And what a huge difference it will make short term and long term. When you clean up that culture, people want to come to work. I want to go see you. I want to get on this call with you because I know we're going to hold each other accountable. We're going to hold each other to a higher standard.

00:57:30:00 - 00:57:32:22
Speaker 1
I look forward to seeing you, right? Like I love it.

00:57:33:08 - 00:57:52:20
Speaker 2
This is going back to and I like see you too. I, i like I'd like for us to have a car if we can have them on podcast. I just can't understand and wrap my head around some of the businesses. It's like cutthroat. Like, if you don't meet these things, like, you're toast. I'm sure some people need to be let go.

00:57:52:20 - 00:58:04:02
Speaker 2
I get it, but I'm just trying to wrap my head. What kind of culture that must be. If I'm trying to cut your throat, you're trying to cut my throat to be able to get to the top. Like, I don't know. I understand what that looks like, to be honest. Maybe it's good. Maybe it's bad. I don't know.

00:58:04:02 - 00:58:13:01
Speaker 2
I have an necessary lived in that world. And it's funny because we think maybe sports is the same thing. I just saw this recently borrows barrels. Is that the quarterback of Joe.

00:58:13:01 - 00:58:14:06
Speaker 1
Burns, Joe Bird.

00:58:15:03 - 00:58:34:18
Speaker 2
I saw something. He introduced himself during the game to one of the players from the Rams. Man, how's it going? You don't finally get to meet you during the game in the Super Bowl. You're you to tell me this thing isn't about people. I think he's trying to I'm trying to win. So you're trying to win. It's just like people say like you played before the game.

00:58:35:01 - 00:58:48:19
Speaker 2
Here's an example of religious. Yes, Catholic. Yeah. I pray before the game. The other team prays before the game. I think God picks sides. You know, I mean, we're all trying to do our best here. We're all in the same we're on the same planet. Just good people, please.

00:58:50:08 - 00:59:10:03
Speaker 1
And if they're just good people and if you're not a good person, knock it off. That's just not it. I have no tolerance for bullying. Here's the other one, too. The bugs me is people walk by challenging situation in a hallway. And also somebody is saying, I have no problem saying, hey, man, this is not going to be tolerated here.

00:59:10:13 - 00:59:17:23
Speaker 1
It's you put a stop to it right away. And I think that's again, I've seen colleagues walk by like, I don't want to deal with that.

00:59:18:08 - 00:59:30:24
Speaker 2
I'm just I just call it that's like literal. I've watched things on that and it's like people don't want to get their hands dirty like you can. You know, I've seen things like pretend they're having a heart attack in the ball. Exactly. And the only people walk by and don't do anything.

00:59:31:12 - 00:59:34:05
Speaker 1
And any TV show like on ABC. I love that show.

00:59:34:14 - 00:59:35:15
Speaker 2
Exactly. It is.

00:59:35:15 - 00:59:36:20
Speaker 1
Me crazy.

00:59:36:20 - 00:59:54:11
Speaker 2
But the other part, too, and it's just how people are and it's not for everybody, but also when you think about it, when we get you know, we do CPR training with our students and, you know, aid training and isn't that crazy? Now they think about it because we're talking out loud and I get to learn more and we talk a lot loud.

00:59:54:11 - 01:00:12:20
Speaker 2
It's not just in my head. One of our things to take care of is the crowd like to get people away let that sink in. We in our training are told how to control crowds. Yeah, because that's what people want to do. They want to sit there and watch somebody having a heart attack or choking they don't want to do anything about it.

01:00:13:05 - 01:00:13:19
Speaker 2
They just want to.

01:00:13:19 - 01:00:27:07
Speaker 1
Watch a film it and it'll be on TikTok or Tic-Tac the next day or whatever it is. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, well, here's one. I know it's funny because I had this on and by the way, you know, I had my I said I had a whole bunch of stuff on paper that I want. It's all gone. I don't know.

01:00:27:07 - 01:00:28:17
Speaker 1
I think it's all over the place. I read.

01:00:28:17 - 01:00:29:17
Speaker 2
It. I read it.

01:00:29:24 - 01:00:31:21
Speaker 1
Yeah. JJ did his homework because he's.

01:00:31:21 - 01:00:56:03
Speaker 2
He did. Accountable, accountable. And it's funny you say that because you're like, hey, make sure you look through the notes. And in my head, I'm thinking he spent a lot of time on that. I need to know, you know? No, but it's true, man. You put a lot of time and effort into this stuff. I didn't know what's going on for the conversation piece, but more than anything, I was scared to disappoint you, to be honest with you, because in a sense of like and all go back to it.

01:00:56:03 - 01:01:08:00
Speaker 2
You put a lot of time into it, and it's I need to respect that. I don't know how else I'm trying to work that, but I need to be able to respect you. Put the time, and it's just like, Okay, thanks for spending 45 minutes a day doing that. But it's irrelevant. Mine.

01:01:08:09 - 01:01:20:06
Speaker 1
Yeah, but I trust you that's the other thing is there's trust, right? And that's we would be great teammates and you think about this, so we're both catchers, right? If we were on the same team, what kind of relationship do you think we would have?

01:01:21:23 - 01:01:29:13
Speaker 2
Right. Wouldn't I be just as happy you playing and then trying to help? I know for a fact, you know we should we should at this next time we should.

01:01:29:13 - 01:01:31:01
Speaker 1
Ask Ed Jordan and say.

01:01:31:21 - 01:01:32:01
Speaker 3
Who.

01:01:32:01 - 01:01:32:23
Speaker 1
Would be the starter.

01:01:35:23 - 01:01:39:18
Speaker 2
And defensively, definitely you'd be if I would say the offense.

01:01:39:18 - 01:01:40:15
Speaker 1
Big stick. Yeah.

01:01:40:15 - 01:01:42:09
Speaker 2
I mean, I might add in your.

01:01:42:15 - 01:01:45:06
Speaker 1
Team, but you're the lefty and I'm the righty. So there you go.

01:01:45:06 - 01:01:47:18
Speaker 2
You know, maybe matchups, he matchups, matchups.

01:01:48:01 - 01:01:56:22
Speaker 1
Go back to what you're saying about the first aid thing. Here's one and not K away. K minus a equals zero.

01:01:57:05 - 01:01:58:00
Speaker 2
Do tell, do tell.

01:01:58:11 - 01:02:33:24
Speaker 1
Knowledge minus action equals nothing. So you have the knowledge to do something. In my opinion, you have the responsibility to do it. K plus a equals C knowledge plus action equals change. You know, everybody knows what makes a team better. It's no secret what we're saying here is not like, no, it hasn't been come down and chiseled on a tablet on the mountain.

01:02:33:24 - 01:02:45:11
Speaker 1
Right. And be like from the heavens. This is common knowledge. There's not a this isn't even our own stuff. But it's just stuff that we've experienced that make things better.

01:02:46:06 - 01:02:47:07
Speaker 2
So and send us the.

01:02:47:07 - 01:02:47:21
Speaker 1
Story doing.

01:02:47:21 - 01:02:53:09
Speaker 2
It. Send us someone, send us the stats. I keep doing this because my mike's this way. So actually, this is my better side.

01:02:53:09 - 01:02:54:13
Speaker 1
People say that's good.

01:02:57:15 - 01:03:03:20
Speaker 2
It reminded me of a story I don't want to tell right now. So who was I talking about?

01:03:04:09 - 01:03:05:13
Speaker 1
Somebody sent you a stat?

01:03:06:00 - 01:03:27:06
Speaker 2
No, send us a stat. I want to know the stat. How many people actually like they'll read a book or go to know at seminars? They go to a seminar and actually do the stuff in the seminar. I want to know the percentage. 100 people pay Tony Robbins. They pay example. $10,000, maybe. I don't know, man. A thousand people go pay $10,000 to go.

01:03:27:15 - 01:03:47:07
Speaker 2
How many people leave that show after paying that much money and actually do the things he says ten people. Do you think all the knowledge is literally sitting there and I'm guilty as charged, like I'm prepping for the show today and I'm right. Accountability and all these things that I have for accountability, like, holy smokes. Well, that's a good one.

01:03:47:22 - 01:04:03:23
Speaker 2
That's a great video that I put that in play. Not yet. That's the key word for me. Right now. Not yet. Like you have all of this knowledge in front of us and we literally do nothing about it. And accountability, like you said, to start off the show, is the you know, you wrote that in your notes because I remember now, you said it was like the glue cracked.

01:04:04:01 - 01:04:05:15
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, it's glue.

01:04:06:18 - 01:04:22:06
Speaker 2
So hold yourself accountable and use the things that other we're saying someone else has told you something you've read, something your parents might have told you. Eat more vegetables and fruits or whatever, but do it. Just do it. Nike, I apologize. You guys did a great job. Just do it.

01:04:22:18 - 01:04:44:07
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, I this is something that I don't want to pontificate, but I think it's just something that bugs me. I like to be I. I had a fellow coach. Tell me one day there's a, there's a big thing going on, and it was a student that was having it was a challenging situation for a student.

01:04:44:07 - 01:05:30:07
Speaker 1
And after dealing with it, this coach I have tremendous respect for said mess. I says, you don't like go to you know, we talk about going over obstacles. He says, you run situations like this. I was like, yeah, because it needs to be dealt with quick swiftly efficient. That means I'm not talking about I come in heavy handed but if you allow this to kind of start and some coaches again maybe they're not equipped to deal with it again you know Mark 1.02.0 maybe 3.0 I might have not dealt with these types of poor culture things on a team really well back then.

01:05:30:08 - 01:05:49:11
Speaker 1
Now I realize how much they can affect something if a kid's not training his teammates, I'll send a kid home from I've sent kids home from practice before. So like you've lost the privilege of being here with us today. Do not coaches do not be scared to do it again. The kid is not the problem. The problem is the problem.

01:05:49:11 - 01:06:11:19
Speaker 1
But if you cannot resolve the problem in that moment, send the kid home from practice. And be like, let's talk, let's regroup. We're going to regroup. But right now you're affecting 50 other guys and this cannot continue right? So these are I had a guy these did make in football practice would like destroy his own teammates just to build himself up.

01:06:11:19 - 01:06:25:01
Speaker 1
But that's not something you do in football practice. You have to there's a time and a place for that and he just couldn't get it. I had sent him home from practice be like you need to leave here right now because the rest of your teams wants to kill you and then we'll work through the problem. And we did.

01:06:25:01 - 01:06:34:07
Speaker 1
We ended up well and it took a while. It was bamboo, man. It was bamboo. And it's going to be something that was just improvements, small improvements.

01:06:34:08 - 01:06:36:05
Speaker 2
One question is, was a deeper than football.

01:06:37:10 - 01:06:41:02
Speaker 1
Oh, you had nothing to do with football. It had nothing.

01:06:41:02 - 01:06:44:09
Speaker 2
To do with something. No. That if you do not have the conversation.

01:06:44:14 - 01:06:58:11
Speaker 1
And I knew it had nothing to do with football and that kid needed this again, here you find yourself in a difficult situation where some people say this team needed the the kid needed the team more than the team needed the kid.

01:06:58:22 - 01:06:59:16
Speaker 2
He used that a lot.

01:07:00:00 - 01:07:24:07
Speaker 1
Right. But at the end of the day, that kid needs to be accountable and the kid needs to know that they're a valid contributor to that team in that program. And again, we were on a we were on a call with we were doing a seminar this winter, you and I. And one of the coaches, I think, from South Carolina was that it was a softball or sorry, it was a baseball coach.

01:07:24:17 - 01:07:44:21
Speaker 1
And he said he had his best player was not buying in. Right. And the root thing is find out why he's not buying and what's going on behind baseball. It's not causing him to buy in. Right. So that's it's you as a as an educator, as a coach, you got to get you're going to get your hands dirty on this.

01:07:44:21 - 01:08:09:13
Speaker 1
You're mining and refining right there. You're there. They're elements. These Pete, they're kids. They're they're athletes. And even as adults, we're carrying a lot of baggage with us. And I just had an argument with my wife is right. So yeah, dig deep. You got to dig deep if you want to be truly successful as a human being, as a leader, you're going to have to drill deep into each of your elements and your people.

01:08:11:04 - 01:08:13:15
Speaker 2
And hold yourself accountable. I feel again.

01:08:14:16 - 01:08:30:17
Speaker 1
I don't know why I feel so much better. I just have to get this off my chest because it was and I've been waiting for us to do this show because I've been watching and see a lot of things that's going on. And, you know, you watch a lot of sports, and I think this is one of those things is why can't we do this better?

01:08:31:06 - 01:08:33:04
Speaker 1
And again, why can't we do this better in society?

01:08:33:22 - 01:08:54:09
Speaker 2
We have a thing we do with our with our teams. One of the teams I have anyway, we do what's called Voyager Jax. So we spell out v e s V's, but at the end, so they're they're synchronized jumping jacks. And at the end, the person who leads them and for us, the person who leads them could have been the person who performed worked hard in practice.

01:08:54:09 - 01:09:09:15
Speaker 2
They should all work hard, but just something. And we talk among the staff like, hey, who do you think should get in? Please don't even think for a second is the person who went for three for three or we look for effort literally. That's what we're hunting for is effort because that's where we reward is effort because that's a controllable can't control how many hits you get in a game.

01:09:09:15 - 01:09:26:14
Speaker 2
Only strike once you get you can control your effort anyway so that person to lead them and when they're done the jumping jacks, they turn around and say accountability and now it's the job for the rest of the players behind to make sure they were in sync with each other. And if you were not in sync with people you put your hand up and we restart.

01:09:26:24 - 01:09:40:04
Speaker 2
Oh, I can't even imagine how many times this took us at the beginning and it took us time and time. And it was tough because I needed to hold them accountable because I knew someone was out of sync and they wouldn't say it. And the team was like, Okay, no, but I said, No, no, no, I saw you.

01:09:40:15 - 01:09:58:16
Speaker 2
So I held them accountable for a while. That's how it was. And now they hold each other accountable from I watch trust me, I watch to make sure they're still doing it. I don't just walk away and they hold each other accountable, and you're going to have to go ten, 15 times. And what I try and tell the athletes at the same time is like service speaking further away from the mic.

01:09:58:16 - 01:09:59:07
Speaker 2
They're my best.

01:10:00:18 - 01:10:02:04
Speaker 1
It's okay. Hey, you're fired up.

01:10:02:15 - 01:10:14:13
Speaker 2
It's literally okay to say you did something wrong. 100% okay. And they're like, Hey, I messed up. And now, like, nothing to do with you. They're proud, but they messed up. They're like, right away for the most.

01:10:14:17 - 01:10:15:15
Speaker 1
Failure and move on.

01:10:16:04 - 01:10:32:11
Speaker 2
That's it. And that's what I said. And I ask him, I said, Hey, Billy, are you upset that Tom. Nope. Are you? Nope. Nope. And then one guy is like, I'll do it, too. We I'll figure it out. And then the other guy buys into that concept. It just is what it is. Don't feel bad. You messed up.

01:10:32:20 - 01:10:34:16
Speaker 2
It's part of life. Let's move on together.

01:10:35:01 - 01:10:39:02
Speaker 1
Remember, try that what is it? You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be present.

01:10:39:15 - 01:10:42:04
Speaker 2
Yeah, don't be perfect. Yeah, present, yeah, yeah.

01:10:42:04 - 01:10:45:24
Speaker 1
And perfect is often fake. Fake great.

01:10:46:10 - 01:10:49:05
Speaker 2
Yeah. Often probably nine and ten times.

01:10:49:09 - 01:11:00:07
Speaker 1
You know, one of the things that again, let's end on this because we all will sit here till three days from now and instead of going and our listeners will be like. And these guys still going on. Yeah.

01:11:01:04 - 01:11:06:13
Speaker 2
Well, I got to request actually, Sam is driving from California to New York, and they would like us do a marathon.

01:11:07:06 - 01:11:28:11
Speaker 1
Okay, we should do a live show one day just like that and bring, bring everybody in. So I was thinking about certain things and, and I love the idea of how do you how. Okay. So we talked about the individual ourselves and then how to hold other people accountable. I think one of the good ways of doing that is we use three words.

01:11:28:17 - 01:11:57:06
Speaker 1
Well, better how. So question is what did you do? Well, say today we can do this at the end of practice. What can you do better? How are you going to do it better? Right. Well, better how? Three very simple words, parents. This could be a parenting thing for you at the end of the night. And, you know, sometimes kids don't want to talk about how's school today?

01:11:57:06 - 01:12:19:21
Speaker 1
Great. Okay. Great. Three Converse, three word conversation. Hey, Gigi, what did you do well today? And so we get home. Okay, well, what I do, I I looked at my French teacher and said, thank you very much. What can you do better? Oh, well, I didn't eat my whole salmon. I whatever it is, I don't know. That's a terrible joke.

01:12:19:22 - 01:12:20:18
Speaker 2
You know, but they.

01:12:20:23 - 01:12:21:22
Speaker 1
But you know what I mean to deal.

01:12:21:22 - 01:12:23:06
Speaker 2
With doesn't ask me crazy.

01:12:24:00 - 01:12:37:12
Speaker 1
Yeah. Like, what did you do and all I can what can you do better? And how are you going to do it? Better, right? Oh, maybe I should really put a little bit extra time to clean up after myself leaving practice. I know you can. Well, better how.

01:12:37:21 - 01:12:50:21
Speaker 2
But when I. Well, when I say it doesn't have to be crazy because you're going to have to understand this could be awkward at the beginning in a conversation. If you're not used to it, it could be. This is a waste of my time. You have to start somewhere. It literally meant you have to start somewhere. So have these conversations.

01:12:50:21 - 01:13:09:13
Speaker 2
If it's about a sandwich, then it's about a sandwich because it's going to start being about a sandwich on the first day. And by the second month, you're actually getting something out of your athlete, your son, your daughter, your spouse, whatever it is, you're actually going to get legitimate things, but you have to start somewhere. I don't think this is going to be I asked this question and then fireworks came out that's not how this is going to work.

01:13:10:01 - 01:13:10:22
Speaker 2
You got it right now.

01:13:10:22 - 01:13:20:16
Speaker 1
So it's it's a great it's a great like that. You know, that awkward moment when the kid gets into the car after I am and you're like Oh, good job. And you knew they were horrible.

01:13:21:03 - 01:13:26:21
Speaker 3
But when you're a Dairy Queen or.

01:13:28:08 - 01:13:38:10
Speaker 1
Then you have a parent reach out to you and say that you were in their head about paying kids for stuff and they didn't want to take the kids Tim Hortons for donuts or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

01:13:38:14 - 01:13:40:01
Speaker 2
That's exactly what I said. Yeah. Yeah.

01:13:41:12 - 01:14:02:18
Speaker 1
You know, so it's one of those ones where it's a great conversation in the car, like, hey, like, it's neutral. You put it on them. Not like, you know, you know, some kids are going home and they're getting just fed on the way home and they just buys that car ride home with mom or dad because it's things I'd be producing for them because they know that they're going to get grilled on.

01:14:02:18 - 01:14:17:12
Speaker 1
Everything that happened that day will be the better parent and, and be the one that says, Hey, that was great. What did you do? Well, what can you do better? And how are you going to do it? And then that's it. Let the kid talk. At the end of the day, you're not going to be there forever for them.

01:14:17:24 - 01:14:21:08
Speaker 1
So it's a universal approach right.

01:14:22:16 - 01:14:35:22
Speaker 2
For for me, I live on this one. My wife taught me this one. She taught me a lot of great things. But one of them was when our kids are performing on something or they're going to practice, and I try and implement it now, I think I'm doing a better job. And I just say to our we have sons.

01:14:36:06 - 01:15:02:21
Speaker 2
So whatever they're going into is like, hey, man, I love watching you practice. I love watching you play, but I'm just leaving it at that. I just love watching all the other stuff is the stuff. But I just love watching you compete, watch, loving you, perform whatever you do. Yeah, whatever it is, that's what we enjoy as parents, is that if we can just maybe sometimes just hold on to that a little bit longer, because it's not judging our kids.

01:15:03:04 - 01:15:17:04
Speaker 2
It's just like we love watching them. We want them to succeed, don't get me wrong. Yeah, but it's more than I don't know, it's more than that. I can go way too in-depth, that one, but I just want to end with that one. Just love watching them just be present with your kids. Yeah.

01:15:17:13 - 01:15:22:09
Speaker 1
I think it's cool to watch them do things they are amazing.

01:15:22:17 - 01:15:31:23
Speaker 2
That's all they show. It is another show and we'll all dove into that. And I want to do a parent say it now. I want to do parenting your kid episode.

01:15:31:23 - 01:15:33:19
Speaker 1
An athlete are just parenting your kid.

01:15:34:04 - 01:15:38:10
Speaker 2
Period. Sara is an athlete. Yes. My apologies. Yeah, coach. There you go. I should've said that.

01:15:38:10 - 01:15:40:05
Speaker 1
Better parenting interesting because.

01:15:40:15 - 01:15:42:08
Speaker 2
Coaching your own son and daughter.

01:15:42:23 - 01:15:43:16
Speaker 1
Yeah. Oh.

01:15:44:00 - 01:15:49:16
Speaker 2
That's that's a that's a small show to itself. That's, you know, baby, like, for us to kind of dig into that because it's just.

01:15:49:16 - 01:15:51:19
Speaker 1
We should have our kids in the show with us.

01:15:51:19 - 01:15:52:19
Speaker 2
Oh, boy.

01:15:53:00 - 01:15:59:24
Speaker 1
We should have that with our father between the two of us, the four kids, and what coaching them was like. And it was interesting because you.

01:15:59:24 - 01:16:01:10
Speaker 2
Can get a dollar, you can still edit.

01:16:02:07 - 01:16:02:13
Speaker 3
Yeah.

01:16:02:17 - 01:16:27:08
Speaker 1
I'd have to promise it would be unfiltered. But it's funny because page a coach, page in soccer and she is just such the nicest person and worked hard. But soccer wasn't her thing and it was just like she was like probably didn't like me as a coach. So it would be interesting to see again. I didn't know soccer, but I was just I just remember Paige would stand there with her hands, like behind her back and like Paige really interested.

01:16:27:20 - 01:16:43:22
Speaker 1
Right. But at the end of the day, it wasn't her thing. She found her thing. And I think as a parent, that's what we found, what she was interested in doing. Yes. And that was that was the key. And then she flourished. Man, that was awesome. So. Oh, I like it. We got we got a couple ideas for some some more shows.

01:16:44:07 - 01:17:04:01
Speaker 1
But again, we're not parenting experts. But the idea is you've seen enough. I've seen what doesn't work. And I've been teaching for 23 years. I've seen parents like thousands and thousands of parenting models. Some work, some don't. And sometimes the kids work out despite the parents rate. And that's the one that's again, we're getting off.

01:17:04:01 - 01:17:09:00
Speaker 2
Topic. I was just about to go like, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Drew, to our.

01:17:09:23 - 01:17:38:12
Speaker 1
Listeners, here's what we want you to do today. Of course, we want you to always have a takeaway on an assignment for you to do start. So either start your or both start an accountability mirror. No one end or find an accountability partner. Okay. And I think that's something that is but that's the biggest thing right now. And on top of that list, three things okay.

01:17:38:12 - 01:18:02:07
Speaker 1
So you start off with three things that you want to be accountable for to yourself or hold your partner accountable for a what is it that you're going to be needing to do to be better? And again, it goes back to that first question I asked at the beginning of the show, what is it that I need to be more productive to be a better contributor, whatever that is, and one to yourself.

01:18:02:07 - 01:18:16:13
Speaker 1
So accountability, partner, accountability, mirror between you and your partner. Pick three things and for yourself, pick three things. Okay. So that is going to be your homework for this episode.

01:18:18:02 - 01:18:20:12
Speaker 2
We're can listeners pick up lipstick and so.

01:18:24:15 - 01:18:25:13
Speaker 1
You're going to bust me up.

01:18:25:14 - 01:18:28:01
Speaker 2
I'm just about to say I'm never letting you live.

01:18:28:01 - 01:18:31:02
Speaker 1
So we have our first in-studio session. I'm going to be saying.

01:18:31:02 - 01:18:32:17
Speaker 2
The same thing just.

01:18:33:12 - 01:18:41:17
Speaker 1
So you know. You're going to you're going to bring I'll have new I swear to God, I'll go and I'll get whiteboard markers or drive picture.

01:18:41:17 - 01:18:45:18
Speaker 2
I'm going into your your weight room and you're doing this.

01:18:48:12 - 01:18:52:21
Speaker 1
And listening to tapes are destroyed. Oh, it's just a disaster.

01:18:53:18 - 01:18:55:22
Speaker 2
And you love.

01:18:55:22 - 01:19:12:02
Speaker 1
It. My wife is embarrassed. She's going to be embarrassed and people thinking, how about like we don't have markers in the house or something like that. Yeah. So that's just a mark but you know, it's funny, as a hockey coach, it's like, you know, you're drawing on the board all the time. And I had 11 year. My team is a gift.

01:19:12:02 - 01:19:38:03
Speaker 1
They gave me a bunch of markers and they were sweet. They're color coded. I said I was sick anyways. So I don't know words I think I use. Those are lot. Yeah. So anyways, yeah. So that's what your homework is for the week is accountability partner accountability mirror. Thanks for putting up with our every word conversation today and I'm sure we're going to have some comments that we're not happy about, you know, raising your kids.

01:19:38:03 - 01:19:51:09
Speaker 1
But I would say I'll do a better job. We're all going to do a better job. Better today than yesterday, better tomorrow than today. Well, that does it for this episode of Benchmark. Thanks for listening. Until next time.

01:19:52:05 - 01:19:53:03
Speaker 2
Keep crushing it.