Coach Kurt Hines - A Powerful Leader, Mentor, Influencer, and Overall Outstanding Human Being

Head Coach of the Coronado Islander football program Kurt Hines has what it takes to lead people through all of life's challenges. As a Twitter sensation and powerful and engaging speaker, Coach Hines shares with us his path towards being more than a coach. He is a father, a grandfather, a friend and one of the best leaders you can ever meet.

In this show we share the following:
-The path to success as a coach
-How to support athletes on and off the field
-The great power of family and relationships
-The struggles of defining your "why"
-Why successful coaches aren't always winning coaches.
-Where do the leaders seek leadership and inspiration.

Connect with Coach Hines:
https://www.coachkurthines.com

Connect with us:
https://linktr.ee/BenchmarkedPodcast
Thanks for listening and remember we want to hear from you. Leave us message, a review or like our show.
KEEP CRUSHING IT!

Mizuno


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Transcript

00:00:00:06 - 00:00:29:16
Speaker 1
Hey team, welcome to Benchmarked the Leadership Coaching and Mental Performance Podcast with Coach Mess and Coach Larocque. Thanks for joining us. We're very excited to have Coach Kurt Hines with us today. Coach Hines is not only the head coach of the Coronado Islander football program in sunny Southern California, He's also a motivator, a speaker and influencer. Most importantly, he's a father, a husband and a grandfather.

00:00:30:04 - 00:00:45:13
Speaker 1
Coach. I've been waiting to have this chance to converse with you for years. I think I've been a follower of yours now for seven or eight years and just a huge fan like this is like this is a huge treat for us. Thanks for taking the time to be on our show tonight.

00:00:45:21 - 00:01:00:21
Speaker 2
I'm truly humbled to be here. It's you just mentioned a little bit off camera, so to speak, about, you know, the blessing of social media. And I'm a firm believer there are so many people that that downplay it and say it's negative. And I think it has opened up so many doors and connected so many lives in a beautiful way.

00:01:00:21 - 00:01:04:01
Speaker 2
So I'm humbled to be here and appreciate it. Appreciate it.

00:01:04:10 - 00:01:31:06
Speaker 1
Well, I mean, going back to I think my first of all, you as I was on Twitter, I was like, this coach is what it's all about. And even though you're a football coach and you got a great career none of your tweets are directly related to football. But you cover the very important aspects of life and sport and especially as high school kids go and so on.

00:01:31:06 - 00:01:48:03
Speaker 1
And that's one of the things that drew me because obviously being a football coach, it's important for me to be connected to the kids and be a leader. But to me, that's what I like this year, a motivator. And I've always said, man, if I had a son, I'd get him down to Colorado or sorry to Coronado in California.

00:01:48:03 - 00:01:56:05
Speaker 1
And so he could play for Coach Hines because that's that's how inspirational you are. And I know you've made a big difference in a lot of people's lives. So this is going to be a great show.

00:01:57:09 - 00:01:58:13
Speaker 2
Greatly appreciate that.

00:02:00:00 - 00:02:19:11
Speaker 3
How did it you know you're going here, Mark, on some of this stuff to get to the point where Mark says you're not speaking specifically to football? My personal opinion on stuff like that is you must have a good grasp on life when you know Mark. You know, Mark and I talk about like we do, we all do this amazing things.

00:02:19:11 - 00:02:34:06
Speaker 3
But the sport we coach is just kind of the vehicle is at the end of day, we're trying to like grow human being and citizens. But, you know, we always look at ourselves like 1.0, 2.0. Like, you know, if I could have went back in time, I was terrible. I would yell and I would do this and I would do that.

00:02:34:18 - 00:02:46:20
Speaker 3
And I'm talking about last weekend. So but I mean, at what what point did you kind of separate yourself from football and more about people and open to making that question make sense?

00:02:47:07 - 00:03:06:07
Speaker 2
Yeah, it makes perfect sense. And I don't know if I ever have, you know, and maybe it's because I'm I also when I when I'm blessed to be able to speak at places, whether it's podcasts or our businesses or whatever, I somewhere in my conversation early on in the presentation, I often say I'm an expert and I can see people like, all right, what do you guys for?

00:03:06:17 - 00:03:28:11
Speaker 2
And I truly believe this. I'm an expert in absolutely nothing, but I'm passionate about most things. And for me, I've been blessed. And some of it's learned over the years from reading books, from learning from other great. And I'm not saying I'm a great coach, but other great leaders and whatnot. But for me for me, the the marriage, if you will, of of sports and life have always been one.

00:03:28:16 - 00:03:43:20
Speaker 2
Have always been one. And I've got to give credit to coaches that, you know, there's a saying that you don't remember what people say, but you remember how you feel when you're around them. I am. I'm not that smart of a guy to come up with all of this. But I'm sure in my youth, I started playing football in second grade, played through college.

00:03:44:06 - 00:04:01:15
Speaker 2
I had coaches that poured into me as a human being. I had teachers that poured into me as a human being more than just a player or more than just a student. And one of I'll make this quick, but one of the moments I'll never forget I Pray I never forget was a seventh grade math class. And math has never been my strong suit.

00:04:01:20 - 00:04:24:08
Speaker 2
Never. But I was sitting in class and we had a math teacher, Mr. Nick who would sit on his desk for 5 minutes or so every class and just talk about life and just just calling different players or not players, people and just ask about theater or dance or drama or football or baseball, you name it. And I remember sitting there in his seventh grade class thinking, I want to do that someday.

00:04:24:12 - 00:04:40:08
Speaker 2
I want to teach. And I was not a great student, but I just remember the connection and the way he made me feel as a human being. And it wasn't because I was some mathematician far from it. But but it just and I do that now in my teaching of fourth grade and I do with my football players.

00:04:41:04 - 00:05:01:07
Speaker 2
I think the magic, if you will, is secret, which is no secret at all. Is it's all about relationships. The more you pour into people because of who they are as human beings, the more you're going to get out of them. Not for selfish gain but it's just I mean, let's face it, the three of us is the first time we've really not really ever met face to face.

00:05:01:14 - 00:05:15:12
Speaker 2
And I already have. I want to listen to your podcast now and not mine, but I want to listen to your podcast with other guests. I think when you when you have a connection with people, you can sit face to face with them, eye to eye and learn from each other. That that's what life is all about.

00:05:16:10 - 00:05:43:06
Speaker 1
And we've been we've been blessed because we've had people from it didn't matter what sport. We've had professional lacrosse players, we've had professional football players, we've had Olympians, we've had people, just influential people. And it seems to all point back to very similar things that you just mentioned relationships and then you build trust. So as good as a as a football coach and this is what I said, I I've been following you for seven or eight years.

00:05:43:06 - 00:06:03:03
Speaker 1
I don't even know if you know how to run a spread offense or not, but I know you're really good with kids, right? That's to me is a super important aspect of it. And do you think and I want to follow up with what Gigi was saying is do you think you would be as good of a motivator and leader if you weren't an educator?

00:06:03:03 - 00:06:06:03
Speaker 1
Does that kind of feat does one seed the other in your mind?

00:06:06:13 - 00:06:29:10
Speaker 2
Absolutely. In my mind. Well, let's go off and say this is the gospel. According to me. This is this is not bad. I do it. And to tie into your question to the classroom and to sports, whatever football, whatever sports we coach as educators, we know that so many of our students have IEPs or five offers or they have certain accommodations that they need that little Timmy or little Sally, whatever they are, that they can't sit still.

00:06:29:10 - 00:06:43:05
Speaker 2
It's not that they're being policies, that they're being rude. They just have a harder time doing X, Y, or Z. And I've coached with coaches before, and I I've been blessed to coach with great coaches that have coached with jack wagon coaches that abuse kids not, not physically, but now.

00:06:44:01 - 00:06:45:07
Speaker 3
I'm going to open that can shortly.

00:06:45:07 - 00:07:04:22
Speaker 2
Go ahead. Yes, please. But I've always been so intrigued by coaches that just right kids off on the field say, oh, he doesn't care, he's never paying attention. And when I've been blessed to be a head coach, I always tell our assistant coaches, listen, those that baggage they have in the classroom doesn't leave when they enter the locker room and stay with them.

00:07:05:01 - 00:07:34:00
Speaker 2
It comes out in the field. So the kid that's the hardest, the coach, the hardest to love is often the one that wants and needs it the most. So I think having that educator mindset has helped me exponentially because I understand I believe my fourth graders in my high school students, student athletes are the exact same. And what I mean by that is so many people that say, gosh, you teach elementary school, you coach high school football, how is that the two different worlds of like, no, they want to be loved.

00:07:34:06 - 00:07:51:06
Speaker 2
They want to know that if they're not there, they're missed. They to know that when they are there, they're heard. And I've had parents and it's a blessing. But I've had parents over the 28 years of 27 years. I've taught elementary school now say, oh my gosh, you know, Mason or Chase or whoever. I always hated math. Now they love it.

00:07:51:06 - 00:08:08:20
Speaker 2
They always hear read another love it. And I'm not that good of a teacher. It just I build relationships with them where they don't want to disappoint me, they want to succeed. And then you see their eyes light up and that, that aha moment where they're like, I'm not done. I can do this. I can. And I love in the weight room.

00:08:08:20 - 00:08:27:08
Speaker 2
I was on fire today because get our players were on fire. We had kids achieving lifts and doing things they hadn't done before. And actually, it's funny, I did a video just before I went to the weight room and I had to stop one of our players who's doing some power cleans. He said, Coach, I just can't get my elbows up just just to come into the drop.

00:08:27:20 - 00:08:42:02
Speaker 2
And I said, Logan, you can't. So I'm going to step in front of you. I said, Don't hurt me. Trust me. I'm going to tap your elbows up a little bit. So he know where I stand right in front of me. He did it. I put my hands there. He achieved the lift is all you can do. And we're yelling and screaming hootin holler and stuff.

00:08:42:07 - 00:08:59:14
Speaker 2
I said, How much do I help you? He looks me. I said, I didn't do a damn thing, Logan. That was 100%. You. You just didn't want to hurt me. Or let me down. I said, that's you. That's just you. So I think, you know, being an educator, you understand that the classroom doesn't leave them and that you might lose the lessons here.

00:08:59:16 - 00:09:02:16
Speaker 2
I'm going to be a broken record, but it's about relationships. It's all about people.

00:09:03:22 - 00:09:05:00
Speaker 3
I know. He listens anyways.

00:09:05:07 - 00:09:05:13
Speaker 1
Yeah.

00:09:06:02 - 00:09:06:15
Speaker 2
Well, you can. You can.

00:09:06:19 - 00:09:30:22
Speaker 1
Listen. They're here hour to hour five listeners. I'm sure they're going to love it. We always say, and we're broken records too, because I think this we're like Episode 20 and I feel like we're repeating ourselves because it just keeps circling it. We always say the person is not the problem. The problem is the problem. We have to, as educators and coaches, always remember that.

00:09:30:22 - 00:09:48:21
Speaker 1
And I and, and I love it because to me, I mean the weight room, we're both strength coaches as well, G.G. and I. And that's why I think we're connect well with you is you can accomplish so much for an athlete in the weight room because that's where they can start to build that confidence. And then I came in, I achieved this right?

00:09:48:21 - 00:09:55:23
Speaker 1
That self-esteem and all that stuff, which is such a cool aspect of it all. You're leading to something else. And I interrupted you.

00:09:56:02 - 00:10:14:03
Speaker 3
Yeah, I'm all over the map on this one, but the other one was, you know, they don't care what you know until you care what they know, right? That's the mean potatoes of things. And I'm trying to deal with my I'm going to get pretend like the podcast is about me right now, but I'm sure I get some stuff from my class where I think in my eyes and I don't know what other people do in their classes.

00:10:14:03 - 00:10:39:15
Speaker 3
So I might be way off here, but I think I do some things. Let's say outside the box and I feel sometimes as though, you know, if I have let's just call regular teachers to kind of just stay inside the box. That it's been the same way for whatever amount of years we come to my class and I would feel judged in the sense of the way things are running in my class because it's not a typical health and physical education class, trust me.

00:10:39:20 - 00:10:58:04
Speaker 3
You know, sometimes them letting them sleep for 50, 20 minutes. I let a student like three weeks ago literally sleep the entire period because he hadn't been at school for two weeks. This is the first day he showed up. And in my head when I saw him, he was tired. I said, Go to bed. Look, I think I was crazy because I really felt like I was this the safest place he had been in two weeks.

00:10:58:11 - 00:10:59:22
Speaker 3
Love that, you know what I mean?

00:11:00:08 - 00:11:01:09
Speaker 2
So like, yeah.

00:11:02:18 - 00:11:03:22
Speaker 3
I got fired. You got perfect.

00:11:04:03 - 00:11:23:03
Speaker 2
Yeah. So I love that stuff and I'm not going to I'm I'm going to protect the innocent here. When I was teaching elementary school in New Hampshire, a woman who we shared a door to classrooms connected. She came in one time and we were playing some game, some math game. And afterwards she said, I don't know how you do it because we never have time for that fun stuff.

00:11:23:05 - 00:11:36:23
Speaker 2
I said, and I always said her name. I'm like, We've got to make it fun for them. We've got to not to dumb it down. I hate that term. Said We're going to make it fun. So I kid around my fourth graders now. We don't play any games. And I tell them the first day of school that we play a lot of educational activities.

00:11:37:22 - 00:11:42:15
Speaker 2
It's the same thing, but we do most of our math in fourth grade on white boards.

00:11:43:01 - 00:11:45:22
Speaker 3
And they have their own whiteboards yeah.

00:11:46:02 - 00:12:04:05
Speaker 2
Your little handheld whiteboard. You know, we're doing the same dang work. They do it in the workbook, but for them it's just different when they make a problem. I had the kids write down the problem on the board that copy down so no one else can see it. I say, Show me, they show me and I can look real quick and then they make a mistake when it's on paper.

00:12:04:20 - 00:12:33:12
Speaker 2
It's a big red X and they feel horrible. And then they, like you just said, they just erase it. It's a clean slate, literally. Instinctively, I'm making notes on my class roster about, Hey, I got a C, so and so make sure I go over this with them. But it's just it's no different. When you mention the Box G, I think how many of us our entire lives try to kick and fight and scream our way out of a box that society or parents intentions or whatever try to put us in and if we would just let people just not do their own thing.

00:12:33:12 - 00:12:51:17
Speaker 2
There's certain times they've got to they got to show up and do things they don't want to do. But that box that so many people feel comfortable in, I think often it's a box that teachers or coaches put themselves in because they're lazy or ignorant. And I think behind that, I'm just going to keep doing this because this is just easy.

00:12:51:22 - 00:13:04:13
Speaker 2
Yeah, you're doing this, you know, and someone suggests something new. And now I've always done it that way, and I hate when I hear that we've always done it that way. And unless you've always done it that way and it's always producing winners in the classroom, in life, in the field and stop doing it, that way doing.

00:13:04:14 - 00:13:23:10
Speaker 1
Doing more of what doesn't work doesn't make it work any better. Right? So, you know, so these are all things that I think and again, I would say you could take a good coach and you could put them in any classroom and you could probably teach 12th grade physics, but you could also probably coach cricket and badminton. You don't like to me.

00:13:23:10 - 00:13:43:05
Speaker 1
People are like, oh, you know, how do you how do you do that? It's like it's not magical. It goes back to relationships. Relationships build trust. And trust allows you to open up the whole thing for the success of the kid, the athlete, whether it is. And then they will be successful in life. You know, these these are all so I want to go back.

00:13:43:05 - 00:14:00:15
Speaker 1
How did you get started? Like, so how did you get started on this path? Not of of being the motivator and being the speaker, the Twitter stuff and then because you're one of the few people, one of my friends says you can be careful on Twitter because it's a cesspool out there and you get to filter out the noise.

00:14:01:06 - 00:14:19:11
Speaker 1
But I always look forward to your tweets because it's something that's uplifting. And I point a lot of people to them as well to say like, hey, like the answers are there, right? And sometimes what I find is you put just enough out to make you think about like, I know I got I had a list of things.

00:14:19:11 - 00:14:40:06
Speaker 1
I was like, oh, I got to mention this tweet. I got to mention this post. And then I was like, I am going to get them all jumbled up. But the answers there and the way you put them out, I find you can fit so many like not just football lessons, but life lessons that you could self-correct or you can help yourself kind of help others.

00:14:40:07 - 00:15:00:01
Speaker 1
I think that's another big thing is, is you're empowering, which is I think, a huge thing for for football coaches. And I know that leadership and we see it up here in Canada, I find leadership in young people is something that's kind of on a decline because they're afraid to do it because it's a risk, especially for males.

00:15:00:09 - 00:15:10:23
Speaker 1
We need strong male role models in this world. And I love that you're doing that. So back to my question, how did you get started on this path, doing this and sharing what you're doing.

00:15:12:20 - 00:15:37:06
Speaker 2
I think most husbands will admit this. It goes back to my wife. I being an elementary school teacher and I paint murals. I painted for years, love art. Facebook and Instagram were easier for me because I could share my work. Twitter I had no interest in whatsoever. The first four or five, six years, it came out my wife, who comes to all of my games and back in New Hampshire here, California, she'll come to the games on the away games.

00:15:37:06 - 00:15:52:13
Speaker 2
She's home watching the sports breaks that break down before I'm even leaving the visit locker, locker room. So she's the one that said, hey, just go on Twitter and just you can follow these certain sports guys to find. I would call her on the way home and say, Hey, who won this game or who won that game trying to find out standings.

00:15:52:23 - 00:16:10:09
Speaker 2
So she's the one that pushed me towards Twitter a little bit. And then I'm not I'm not proud to admit this, but someone my first few months in Twitter had dead copy and paste or whatever. One of my tweets and just shared it didn't give me credit for whatever and that that that's a big deal. I, I should be more mature than that.

00:16:10:09 - 00:16:36:03
Speaker 2
But I'm not though I remember thinking one time, like, you know, I'm going to do a video, they think they could still share it, they could still feel their words, but it'll be them sharing the video and it happened to resonate with a lot of people. And then it's funny, I remember I was sitting on I was sitting on the toilet the day, the day before we left New Hampshire to drive across the country to come to California.

00:16:36:16 - 00:16:51:13
Speaker 2
And I was sitting on my phone just scrolling and the number I don't know why I forgot. To me, it was 1888 people that followed me. That was like, why do that? Many people care what I have to say. And then it just started to grow from there. But I do want to share. Do either of you gentlemen know Inky Johnson?

00:16:51:18 - 00:16:52:24
Speaker 1
Yeah, OK, I know.

00:16:53:10 - 00:17:13:13
Speaker 2
So he can fill you in. We played college football, was projected to go to the NFL, had a career ending injury, and I believe it's his right arm. I could be wrong. He had some paralysis. Something happened to his back where his right arm is, like the size of a tiny changes can completely change his life trajectory and is now a motivational speaker.

00:17:13:13 - 00:17:32:12
Speaker 2
And this guy is unbelievable. I've yet to meet him in person, but if he ever hears this. Thank you. He's inspired me, motivate me, love the guy, love the guy. The reason I bring him up was when I first started getting asked to speak at different places. I remember having these doubts and thinking, I'm not Inky Johnson. I don't.

00:17:32:19 - 00:17:50:09
Speaker 2
I was never going to the NFL. I was never that good. I don't have this life altering story. I wasn't raised in poverty. I was ever beaten as a child. I'm just an average guy. So I started to really doubt myself. And a buddy of mine shared something that Wayne Dyer a famous author and motivational speaker from years ago.

00:17:50:09 - 00:18:14:10
Speaker 2
I think he's passed away, but I think he was Little's eighties or whatever. George, like ego in the way he phrased it, was ego. And I always thought ego was that cocky, arrogant coach or player that thought they were better than others. And he mentioned ego being any type of ego. Edge got out and he went on to say in one of his books, If God has opened a door for you to open the path for you, stop question why that's open for you.

00:18:14:10 - 00:18:29:21
Speaker 2
Just go through it. You know, I'm paraphrasing. He said it much more eloquently, but that's so that's how I got started in Twitter and sharing things through my wife, pushing me out there. And then it was, hey, you know what? If God opened doors to speak I was asked to speak for Fidelity Investments one time to a lot of their leaders.

00:18:29:21 - 00:18:47:20
Speaker 2
And I got a private message on Twitter about a year before COVID. You know, those emails we get where some guy says, hey, I'm from Nigeria, I want to give you money, you give me your bank account, we just delete. I get a private message from some guy said, Hey, we want to fly you out to the Bahamas to speak for our company.

00:18:47:20 - 00:19:04:09
Speaker 2
And right away I almost clicked delete cause I'm like a who, who am I? And B, who's going to fly me to the Bahamas, you know? So I message him back today. Appreciate the interest his email and my business account thought I'd never hear from. 20 minutes later, I get an email say, Hey, can we set up a meeting?

00:19:04:20 - 00:19:25:20
Speaker 2
So they flew my wife and I out there. It was unbelievable. But I was humble enough to ask them. Curious enough, I said, I have confidence in how I am as a man, as a husband, father, grandfather, coach. But I'm a division for coach here in San Diego, California. Why me? And he said, all of our business leaders are either former athletes, and if they're not, they're in the competitive world.

00:19:25:20 - 00:19:50:16
Speaker 2
Now, as business leaders. And they want to hear from someone like you, gentleman who's who's doing it, who's living it, and in that world, day in and day out. So when I started sharing stuff in social media, it really got to the point where I was like, you know what? I pray you use the word empower that that's my why in life, I want to empower as many people as I can, but I pray that it reaches more people I can ever imagine.

00:19:51:05 - 00:20:10:08
Speaker 2
I share one message, one video, one tweet, as you mentioned, makes one person think a little bit different with how they're interacting with their wife or their teammate or their player or athlete or son or daughter. Then the message is well served it doesn't have to get two, three or four retweets of one person likes it and it makes them think a little bit more.

00:20:11:05 - 00:20:12:21
Speaker 2
So then that's what I love about it.

00:20:14:01 - 00:20:36:02
Speaker 1
I think we had the same thing and we can relate Aguy. We're like, Who's going to listen to us? Who's going to actually like hit subscribe? And he's like, We don't care if one person listens and one person, you know, if it moves the needle a little bit in their life in a positive way. We've truly been successful and that's what we're after.

00:20:36:06 - 00:20:39:09
Speaker 1
And we bring in guests that are after the same goal like that. Your Why?

00:20:39:21 - 00:21:03:21
Speaker 2
Yeah, what I love about that, I have a biased opinion about the sport of football obviously in favor of it. But I also at the same time think the sport is overpopulated with negative Neanderthal dumb jock coaches who know the game really well who can break down any defense or offense to spread offense. We do run that. We know it far better than I do, to be honest.

00:21:03:21 - 00:21:25:06
Speaker 2
There's a lot of coaches out there, probably thousands of them, thousands and thousands that know to get better than me, but don't care enough about the people who either don't have the longevity to stay in coaching or do it for all the wrong reasons. And once again, the world needs more people that just want to spread what they're passionate about and do in a way that's going to only bless other people.

00:21:25:22 - 00:21:27:19
Speaker 2
So I love that you guys are doing this. Yeah.

00:21:28:07 - 00:21:48:00
Speaker 3
Two things there. Yeah. So why don't I talk about the why? I'll get that in a second with the first thing you talked about are how you like earlier, correct? Yes, sir. So I can't remember which book or podcast or whatever I was listening to, but they just talked about a lot of professional people, high end, let's just say high end people also get interested in other things.

00:21:48:06 - 00:22:05:13
Speaker 3
OK, so obviously stereotyping here. I'm not thinking you as an art person, but one, why art and what does it do for you outside, you know, just for listeners? At the same time, they can be really good at something else, but it's beneficial to be going to do other things too, to kind of complete yourself as a person in my opinion anyways.

00:22:05:22 - 00:22:08:02
Speaker 3
But how did you get it? Like what's the story with art?

00:22:08:12 - 00:22:37:10
Speaker 2
Yeah, it was always a passion of mine growing up. I used to doodle and draw all the time. Probably why I wasn't so good at math. I spend more time drawing in class than I should have been. It was my minor in college, but like most things, you know what you learn in college may help you, but until you get into the actual profession, w learn so much more that for six months or a year and just started doing murals years ago and I've done murals now on 500 square foot walls, outside, inside ceilings, you name it.

00:22:37:13 - 00:23:00:19
Speaker 2
Everything from custom sports things to Monet or Van Go or just whatever, whatever the client asked me to do. And I love it for multiple reasons. One, it's so relaxing. I love you guys. No, that's teaching. I don't care what class, what grade level we have to be on our A-game and all day coaching is the same thing.

00:23:00:19 - 00:23:24:14
Speaker 2
And when I coach, I yell I scream. It's never derogatory, it's never putting someone down. It's just I get amped up. That's how I am what I put up when I'm doing a mural. I put some I like. I love all genres of music. From AC DC to Killswitch Engage, but I love worship music. So I put that on and I just I mean, my own world, the last thing I love about it is my players they see me when they meet me for the first time.

00:23:24:14 - 00:23:45:06
Speaker 2
I'm not huge, but I'm a small guy. But they eventually find out I teach elementary school. I love painting murals and that you can be someone that loves and is passionate about your sport. But I think when they have a coach that is passionate and successful in other things as well, it helps them to not put their identity in being an athlete.

00:23:45:11 - 00:24:05:02
Speaker 2
And we know how dangerous that is for so many. You see so many professional athletes who are at the top of their game making millions and millions of dollars who are about depression, who take their lives or end up losing all their money, and who once they leave that game, they always saw themselves as being that too connected to that sport.

00:24:05:11 - 00:24:10:11
Speaker 2
Where I love football, it is so much of my life, but it's not my life. It's a part of it.

00:24:12:01 - 00:24:31:08
Speaker 3
He talks a lot about Hillsong United. Please tell me. Listen, athlete. Absolutely. And I just showed I teach my religion class today and two teams are to date so I showed them the video that there's a movie on Hillsong United. So I'm doing a section on religion class about music and you know, a lot of my God meeting and you don't even know it anyways.

00:24:31:14 - 00:24:41:05
Speaker 3
So I showed them them Hillsong United right man that's the best music ever and I'm out and do my stuff and listen, that is just like a whole new world about Hillsong so.

00:24:41:05 - 00:24:59:16
Speaker 2
I love it. I'm getting no money for this. I wish it were. But have you guys heard of Tasha Cobbs? No, please write this down. Truly write this down, Tasha Cobbs or you guys can watch this and go back. She just came out with a song or I just found it. I'm not sure how all of us without with Nicki Minaj, nothing against Nicki Minaj, but I'm not a Nicki Minaj fan.

00:25:00:01 - 00:25:19:24
Speaker 2
Tasha Cobbs is this woman who has such a powerful voice. The song is called I'm Getting Ready to AC cause Nicki Minaj at 2 minutes and 44 seconds into it. It goes from awesome awesome awesome to just explode feel like I can't even tell you what happens, but you have to listen to that song and listen to it loud. Love it and love it.

00:25:19:24 - 00:25:20:23
Speaker 1
OK, I like that.

00:25:21:05 - 00:25:21:15
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:25:21:15 - 00:25:40:02
Speaker 1
And I know you like country music because you were just Nashville great time. So, you know, like Gigi, I know you're talking about the art stuff. So one of my and we're going to have him on the show. Actually, we're doing a show with him on Tuesday. He was a football player and I knew him as a football player since he was a freshman in high school.

00:25:40:02 - 00:26:01:08
Speaker 1
And we trained together and we've been training together for the last 20 years. He's almost 30 now, so it's like 15 years for sure. And he went and played. He was a freshman at Western University here and played three years and had ankle issues and just had to have surgery on his ankle. His football career ended and I did not notice of him and this is what taught me.

00:26:01:08 - 00:26:12:03
Speaker 1
Like I'm always evolving. I didn't know he played the guitar and saying, and now he just say he just signed a big contract with Universal Records and was living in Nashville and is recording music and he's doing great.

00:26:12:12 - 00:26:13:02
Speaker 2
That's so.

00:26:13:12 - 00:26:34:20
Speaker 1
You know, like these. I said, Josh, I didn't even know you could sing. I know you could deadlift £300 for five reps and you can run a four for 40, but I didn't know you can sing and play the guitar. So, you know, these are all things that I think it's important that they know that you're not just a football coach and you're not just an athlete because you're a complete person because that sport can stop for you one day.

00:26:35:02 - 00:26:51:17
Speaker 1
What are you going to keep doing? What's your, what's your, what's your other way right yeah. And I want to go back to something else you said, something we say and I've seen this and I think this is another thing that we also do seminars for coaches here and we've had a couple and what we say is not all successful coaches win.

00:26:52:05 - 00:27:13:16
Speaker 1
Right? And and not all winning coaches are good coaches. So I could be gifted a super talented team and have all the right tools in my in my toolbox, but I'm not serving those kids and I'm not advancing them as players in this. And we'll use football here and as men. We're not doing our job. So I love that you recognize that.

00:27:13:16 - 00:27:32:18
Speaker 1
And you know that your strength as a motivator and a leader, I'm sure you know football, I'm sure you know your offenses and your defenses and stuff like that. But it's that extra layer that you had. The fact I was in New York, couple a couple of months ago in the USA Today, they were talking about the transfer portal.

00:27:32:18 - 00:27:59:19
Speaker 1
And I think there's a lot of coaching changes that were going on and like the power of five and what they talking about now is how they're really looking in the bigger schools to not necessarily hire the genius C or the genius DC or the genius head coach. They're looking to bring in people who can recruit good people and work with those troubled young men and make them better because we know that makes a big difference.

00:27:59:19 - 00:28:11:10
Speaker 1
Like the talent pool is so deep in football, it's how do you now bring that and bring that good culture cultures that one of our key words here's is establishing team culture.

00:28:11:10 - 00:28:24:15
Speaker 3
So like I got to jump in there. So, OK, if people are doing that and I share your insight on this and people are doing that, but you have to be willing to lose if you're going to do that, you're bringing in good people because we think good people, maybe we're thinking they're soft or whatever the case may be.

00:28:24:21 - 00:28:40:22
Speaker 3
The main character, people in but you have to be willing to lose. So is there a point in your coaching career where it was like you knew you don't know what the wins and losses really look like? You're like, this is the path we're going to follow, like at what point in your career did you get to this is the path we're going to follow, win or lose, because this is the right way of doing it.

00:28:41:13 - 00:29:01:04
Speaker 2
Yeah, it was my first year head coach throughout this year. I was blessed my first eight years I was I was I walked, I walked onto a staff and I was looking to be a volunteer to do whatever, just get my foot in the door. And it just so happened they wanted a head freshman coach and they need a spot so I got a position right away, failed a lot, messed up a lot, but learned a lot along the way.

00:29:01:11 - 00:29:20:14
Speaker 2
My first year as head coach, I it was better for New Hampshire, very athletic community. And they said, hey, coach, it's a brand new high school. If you get the job, how long before you're in the playoffs? And I don't consider myself cocky. I really don't. But without hesitation, I said three to five years and both the principal and the aide laughed at me, not in another malicious way, but they both laughed.

00:29:20:14 - 00:29:35:24
Speaker 2
I remember that. And I thought two things right away. I thought, game on. Like I'm going to prove you wrong. And then I thought, oh, crap, I just lost his job. I'm in. I'm I go into my first year coaching and I joke about this when I speak at places. I tell people I set records my first year as a head coach.

00:29:36:14 - 00:29:52:24
Speaker 2
You had some people like, Oh, interesting. Somebody like Guy, who's this? This arrogant guy. The records I set was we got our teeth kicked in more than any other school. The history of the world it was so bad that we at the end of the game, when you walked through and shake hands and everyone says, Good game, no one even lied to me.

00:29:52:24 - 00:30:10:00
Speaker 2
They were like, beautiful field great stadium. We were so bad they didn't even lie to me. So but but it was at the end of that first year, a meeting I'll never forget. It was my first year as a head coach. We literally just got done with our first season and lost every game. It was like, Hey, we too is close.

00:30:10:00 - 00:30:23:00
Speaker 2
Like every game was a massacre bad. And I asked our coaching staff. I said, I'm not going to change just for the sake of it, but I'm in this for the long haul. What would you like to see me do differently? And it was quiet for about 40 seconds.

00:30:23:00 - 00:30:24:00
Speaker 3
Sorry, you said as to who.

00:30:24:09 - 00:30:47:13
Speaker 2
To what, to our coaching staff. I'm at the end of our season and that was about 40 seconds of silence. It seemed like 40 minutes. And one of my assistant coaches who is now one of my best friends. But those first few years we butt heads like this is how the kids respect you in the room. Just when they definitely silent all eyes were on me and I felt myself just getting red and I was like, All right, what do you mean?

00:30:48:02 - 00:31:02:01
Speaker 2
He's like, I don't know how to respect you. I was like, Well, give me one example. Do they talk back? Do they leave the locker room a mess, the way room, they show up late or leave early and talk to him about his. No, no, listen, this kids love you down. They respect you. So what are you talking about?

00:31:02:01 - 00:31:15:15
Speaker 2
I said, give me one example. And he goes, That's not the right word. I said, What is it? They're not afraid of you. And I felt I'd talk with the spirit. I felt such a peace come over me. And I said, Those are two completely different things. He's a great guy. I think a head coach should be feared.

00:31:15:20 - 00:31:30:13
Speaker 2
You're too buddy buddy with them. I said, Dude, I'm trying to be best friends with nobody noble. But you're telling me you love them. You're hugging them. I said, I will always be that way because that is how we're going to win. And he's like, We just lost every game. I'm not talking about winning on the frigging scoreboard.

00:31:30:13 - 00:31:39:02
Speaker 2
I remember getting heated like I'm talking about winning in life, and I said, I will mention it. Well, I'll mention it because Derek, I mean, I'm going to his house tomorrow night, my weekend with him.

00:31:39:09 - 00:31:43:03
Speaker 1
So if we get a bad comment on this coach and we know who it's going to be sure.

00:31:44:16 - 00:32:03:06
Speaker 2
It'll be from Derek. But he why we're going to disagree. I said 100%. I said, I love you. I said, I will always disagree with you on that. I said, the kids fear me and they're suicidal. Get a young woman pregnant parents are getting divorced, coming out of the closet. Whatever challenges they're going through, like they're not going to come to me.

00:32:03:23 - 00:32:20:00
Speaker 2
I said, I don't want them to fear me. I want them to know I love them. And I want them to love me enough to know that they can come to me with anything so it was that first year, to answer your question, that I really it's a huge blessing for me to find success differently. I truly don't think of the 25 years I coach now.

00:32:20:00 - 00:32:47:06
Speaker 2
I've coach with a losing season. Now, that being said, I've had years. We've lost every game, guys, years we've only won to define it depends how you define success. And I think this really pisses off a lot of coaches because like, oh, this is fluffy and all that fufu stuff. And yet yes, we have to win games to keep our job at a certain level, even at the elementary pop water level, there's enough parents, today's day and age that or even when we were kids, they're going to say something, Yes, I hate losing games.

00:32:47:06 - 00:33:13:21
Speaker 2
Yes, I want to win. And I've been blessed as a head coach in an assistant to win state championships, division championship league championships. But my definition, definition of success is are our kids academically eligible? Do they come to me with problems when they're going through life stuff? Am I able to meet with them? And for that reason alone, I don't feel like I've had a losing season if you look at the big picture, what my why is it that makes sense?

00:33:15:00 - 00:33:36:24
Speaker 1
You're you're preaching to the choir here because the very first day. So two things I do as a I because I coach our varsity team, I'm the DC and these guys hear it every for August and we start in August our preseason camp and I tell them but as the A.D. I go and I talk to the freshman class and I say, you're going to win championships here.

00:33:36:24 - 00:33:58:15
Speaker 1
Like our program is successful here. We've won national championships, we've won provincial championships or like we run a successful program. But I always say to every kid that comes in, if you leave here in four years and you're a jerk, we are complete and utter failures as coaches and teachers and educators. So the football stuff takes care of itself here.

00:33:58:23 - 00:34:19:03
Speaker 1
But if you're a jerk, I'm I'm not a good coach. So we make that very clear. And I repeat that as they go into the 10th grade and the 11th grade and the 12th grade and to me, it's those relationships. And then seeing and G.G. and I, we talk about this all the time. He's got athletes that are doing great things that are they're giving back to their communities and they're doing their coaching now.

00:34:19:03 - 00:34:32:06
Speaker 1
And they're doing different things. And to me, that's successful. And I know you have former athletes that are playing D1 and they're playing in the pros in the NFL. And it's just like that's an amazing accomplishment, but they're also good people at the same time.

00:34:32:19 - 00:34:49:09
Speaker 2
And amen and just not any better. But what I tell our coaching staff, what I tell our families and our players is if the only thing we do is help you become better football players, we're failing you miserably every time they come to the weight room. I want to help them get better. The deadliest at their squad for their clean you name it.

00:34:49:17 - 00:35:04:23
Speaker 2
But I want to help them become better human beings. And that that is what gets me jacked up the most. I just hired six new coaches this past offseason I had one coach that got a divorce and had to move one coach. I was engaged and his fiance, they broke it off. So that's why I lost two coaches.

00:35:05:06 - 00:35:22:08
Speaker 2
It was a guy I got to find two coaches, put it out there. It had a lot of people interested and it was blessed to hire six coaches. My first interview, I used to interview coaches and talk about football for a day and a half and then make a decision and then into the season. I'd be like, Man, this guy knows football, but he doesn't know people, doesn't care about people.

00:35:22:10 - 00:35:47:04
Speaker 2
I just hired a lot of good football coaches, but not good football people. That makes sense. Now, what I do when I first meet with coaches is we talk. I try for that first 45 minutes or so to talk about everything except for football, and you can see them kind of like, When's this interview going to start? And then if I have a good sense what I usually say for the second interview, I don't tell them where my mind's going with this, but I'll say, Hey, can you come by the weight room next Wednesday or whatever?

00:35:47:04 - 00:36:09:09
Speaker 2
It is, really? Sure. You only do whatever you want. Why is it you can just sit back, be a fly on the wall, you can work out with the guys because I feel like every coach, every sport across the world has the interview answers. I want to give back. I want to make a difference. Everyone says that until the proverbial crap hits the fan in a practice or a game, you're like, Whoa, this is not who he said he or she said they were.

00:36:09:19 - 00:36:28:01
Speaker 2
So when I have them come in the weight room, I just and I'm always trying to work out with the guys and spot them. And you guys, I'm preaching to the choir but I'm always watching the mirror also. And I've had coaches that say, I just want to give back. You want to make a difference. And they gravitate toward the 63 £220 stud and walk right by this kid or that kid or whatever.

00:36:28:08 - 00:36:40:08
Speaker 2
And I want them to be hour and a half. 2 hours were in there and they don't even pay a cent notice to it. To the young man that can't put his shoes on or can't he's lifting £65 or whatever.

00:36:40:08 - 00:36:42:24
Speaker 3
Yeah, well that's not going to help them progress in their lives coach.

00:36:42:24 - 00:37:10:05
Speaker 2
Right. Yeah, right. So, so what I do though is there have been a handful of coaches where I'll pull aside after that and say, hey listen I notice this, I still think you've got enough good in you to keep moving forward with this process. But I wasn't a fan of this, but I have I've had other coaches that come in right away and the coaches I hired now that come into the weight room with us, who you just see gravity aid toward the kids that need extra help, gravitate toward the kids that need a little guidance and stuff.

00:37:10:05 - 00:37:12:05
Speaker 2
And and I love that because that's what it's all about.

00:37:13:14 - 00:37:27:13
Speaker 3
That's the roll up your sleeves and have to work hard, to be honest with you. Like I said, it's easy to go to 63 to four days was probably doing stuff at home. Parents did something where the case may be able to go work and find that's it. That's coaching. That's a grind. Yeah.

00:37:27:21 - 00:37:51:14
Speaker 1
I'm going to get this wrong. But this was this came up to us from Brian Kane, one of our mentors as well in the mental performance realm. And he said, and I forget it's one of the big schools in Texas, one of the coaches, head coaches at Texas football. And he said, our program is a leadership and character development program that just happens to play football.

00:37:52:19 - 00:38:10:23
Speaker 1
Right. And I was just like, oh, my God, that's it. Like, like, so I'm going to have those words painted on our weight room. So, you know, these are the things that I think are important. And like you said before, a lot of people are missing the boat on this because they they they don't get what's really, truly important.

00:38:10:23 - 00:38:32:10
Speaker 1
Like. Yes. And when you say when the poop hits the fan, when that kid comes in and he's thinking of suicide, he's got mental health issues. And this is where I want to go back to the tweet that you went viral for about the young man that came into your office to quit. So can you talk to our listeners about that and what like how do you get ready for that?

00:38:32:10 - 00:38:34:09
Speaker 1
Were you ready for that situation to happen?

00:38:34:24 - 00:38:56:01
Speaker 2
No, not at all. So I'll paint a very quick picture. Two brothers played for us. One was a stud. One was not both great kids. The older brother by one year was was just a light of the world, always smiling, always happy, everything. His younger brother by year always showed up to practice a little bit late, really. There was never really focused.

00:38:56:01 - 00:39:16:12
Speaker 2
I knew he because I did as an educator, thought already he's got some stuff going on that just is a little bit out of his realm. Of control, so to speak. He came to me one time, about 5 minutes before practice, about 20 days for practice. And I always tell our young men like football is not for everyone, but when you decide to quit, if you do, do it the right way, don't say you want to go.

00:39:16:13 - 00:39:35:05
Speaker 2
You want to focus on your grades because no one goes home at 430 and does schoolwork. And for 30, 30 years, I always do better academically during the season because I had less time before around. So I say, when you decide it's not for you, if that happens, wash your gear, come in with it folded hand to me, shake me shake my hand, look me in the eye and say, Coach, I'm just not passionate about it.

00:39:35:17 - 00:39:54:18
Speaker 2
So he came in one day and stuff, had his bag wash and folded and he goes, I'm just it's not for me, coach. And I said, I'm proud of you. He looked at me. I said, Do you have a minute? And I said, Sit down. And I said, What's going on? Like, what's in your heart right now? And he proceeded to say, We've always been a football family my dad loves and my mom loves it.

00:39:54:18 - 00:40:11:04
Speaker 2
My brother loves it, don't we? We, we. I said, What about you, coach? I don't like football. I said, Good, I'm proud of you. Then and I just saw him literally do this. It was the first time in two years I coached the young men. I just saw him smile and he goes, Coach, I thought you had me so mad at me.

00:40:11:24 - 00:40:36:05
Speaker 2
And I said that I failed you because I know I care about you as a human being, far more than I'll ever care about you as a player. So I was so proud of him. And I said, Hey, I was at that point about 5 minutes for practice. I said, Do you mind if I share this? And he was No coach, please share with the team because I want to make sure the team still treated him like a teammate when they saw him in the locker room or in the cafeteria or the hallways or whatever.

00:40:36:15 - 00:40:52:04
Speaker 2
I'm so proud of him because, you know, a lot and I had a tremendous support in that tweet. I did, as you mentioned, they go viral. But there were also people I forget what I worded it, but just had a young man quit. I'm so happy or something like that. If you're like you're a horrible coach, you should be fired.

00:40:52:04 - 00:41:08:10
Speaker 2
How dare you be happy? And they didn't watch the video. And then there were people that watch the video and said, well, congratulations, you just told them it's OK to quit. Oh, I know how many of us dated other young women before we married our wife. I didn't quit on them. They just weren't right for me. And vice versa.

00:41:08:12 - 00:41:28:16
Speaker 2
Yeah, I would have had different jobs over the years that we chose to walk away from for a better opportunity or something we were more passionate about, you know? And I think too many people live our lives trying to please others, please our parents at least own. So and we end up being 30, 40, 56 years old. Go, man, I've been on this planet for 50 years.

00:41:28:23 - 00:41:47:19
Speaker 2
I haven't lived a single day for myself. And I'm not saying we should bless and empower other people, but I was so proud of him. And I just still, to this day, I made sure to keep in touch with him and have continued to. I just think it's a beautiful thing when you can have someone look you in the eye and say, I'm not passionate about this anymore and be supported in that.

00:41:49:02 - 00:42:12:13
Speaker 1
And the flipside, I always like to do this. If you would have flipped it and you're not the type of person that would have done this, but there are coaches who would have said, you don't quit. You never quit, and just driven misery into that young man and now disappoint. Like, you know, like that's where if you just make one small choice, we say things happen for you, not to you.

00:42:12:24 - 00:42:18:09
Speaker 1
And that opportunity that young man took to sit with you and talk was it was probably a life changing moment for him.

00:42:18:21 - 00:42:36:16
Speaker 2
Amen. And it was hard for him. He didn't know coming into it. And I can't tell you literally. I literally think it was over 200 people had sent me private messages saying You have no idea. The damage my coach did to me when I tried to quit, wouldn't let me or bully me or told me I was a loser, told me I'd never amounted.

00:42:36:21 - 00:42:56:00
Speaker 2
And some of them, they were like almost hard to believe it actually happened. But as far as the quitting thing, too, I remember one time my first year here at court, Otto's head coach, we were doing some conditioning in the summer, and I just the kids were just working hard, hard, hard. And some kids were quitting, not the team, but quitting pushing themselves.

00:42:56:00 - 00:43:17:06
Speaker 2
That's different, in my opinion, as the guys at the end. I told him, I said quitting is not an option. I said quitting is not an option. And so that's where I was going with it. After the third time with the guys, hold on. You're friggin wrong. Quitting is always an option. The world is full of quitters. Take pride in the fact when you don't quit something, you're passionate about you.

00:43:17:15 - 00:43:30:03
Speaker 2
When you don't quit with this young man that chose to quit, it wasn't that he didn't want to work hard. He just never loved football. That was doing it for his family, which you know, I was and still am so proud of him.

00:43:30:12 - 00:43:31:15
Speaker 1
Oh, that's awesome.

00:43:32:16 - 00:43:56:02
Speaker 3
So in a turn it around a little bit. I don't know if I'm turning around sometimes I feel as though it's the kid or the athlete needs the sport more than the sport needs them. Right. So that obviously is not the scenario. But if you've taken players on your teams before or you've seen that an athlete where if they're not on this team and God knows where this is going to take them, what direction they're going to go in life.

00:43:56:02 - 00:44:01:12
Speaker 3
So yeah, they're not my starting whatever the case may be, but they need this family. They need this team.

00:44:01:23 - 00:44:19:06
Speaker 2
Yes. 100. As a matter of fact, I just had a conversation with two of our assistant coaches about another coach. I said, Hey, this doesn't leave this room. I said, I'm not talking negatively about so-and-so, but I said exactly what you just said. I said, Coach, so-and-so is like that. Player that we know will never start for our job.

00:44:19:12 - 00:44:41:13
Speaker 2
Forget about of team. And I'm a huge believer in the underdog. I'm a huge believer in achieving the impossible. But we have some players. I have a player that's going to be a junior this year. I will not say his name that cannot deadlift successfully. I think he was trying to do 85, £95 or whatever. I mean there, there are fifth graders that can do that, you know, and I but I love the young man.

00:44:41:13 - 00:44:59:01
Speaker 2
That young man needs our program. I have a coach on our staff who need he's going through a lot of stuff, has been for years in his own personal life with his family, his wife and children. He needs to be a part of our program. So I absolutely I love that because I actually my wife and we went to Nashville this past spring.

00:44:59:10 - 00:45:20:12
Speaker 2
We after our Nashville trip, we went further back to New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Massachusetts to see family and friends and I had a former player that met up to see my wife and I. And he's a young man. He's on the spectrum a little bit, Asperger's. I coached him. He graduated. Gosh, I coached him. I figure it was 15 years ago, whatever it was, he just bought his own house.

00:45:20:18 - 00:45:40:09
Speaker 2
He's working as a lawn care guy for a golf course. And I mean, it literally brought tears to my eyes. When I saw him, I hugged him. I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm so, so proud of you. I mean, but he's a young man that got in for us on his senior year during senior night. And literally, he was one of the players that pre I think was a Thursday before the final game.

00:45:40:15 - 00:45:54:19
Speaker 2
I pulled aside three or four of our defensive studs Hey, listen, we're putting so-and-so in and we're not going to put him in at the end of the game just for some, you know, whatever reps we're going to put him in the first quarter, put him in a little bit the second or maybe two or three plays throughout the entire game.

00:45:55:02 - 00:46:19:14
Speaker 2
And you guys, I don't care. They score, protect him. You guys be his bodyguards, so to speak. And they did. And those kids, those young men who now have families of their own or some of them just just just their was excited about that conversation I had with them as I was talking about a pre game. Hey, we're going to go to war with this team or whatever because they also were buying what we were selling as far as this is about people making a difference.

00:46:19:14 - 00:46:30:19
Speaker 2
So absolutely coach having players that you know won't ever help us win a game but are going to help the other young men and women win more in life because they have compassion and love for someone else.

00:46:32:01 - 00:46:55:18
Speaker 1
Service over status we've seen said before the other one I wanted to touch on I know is I could see it in his eyes right now he's he's scanning and there's there's a lot there. The other one that I like about it because the one there like coach doesn't like me or he plays favorites and I know that's one of your favorite tweets is where you talk about it like if you know, you think coaches playing favorites become one of his favorites.

00:46:55:22 - 00:47:18:00
Speaker 1
Yeah. So I love that you also put responsibility on the athlete a lot because we do as much as we can as coaches and teachers and parents. But at some point you have to take responsibility that extreme ownership, whether it be in the weight room condition running the classroom, all that stuff. How do you communicate that on a daily basis to your players?

00:47:19:09 - 00:47:41:15
Speaker 2
First and foremost, by living ourselves, you know, holding ourselves as coaches accountable and making sure we're challenging ourselves and pushing ourselves. I think it goes back to having those conversations with our teams you know, I think one of the biggest copout in life you mentioned we the world needs more strong. Male leaders cannot agree with that more, especially in today's day needs.

00:47:42:02 - 00:48:08:07
Speaker 2
That being said, I hate when I hear husbands or fathers or coaches say about their families or players, they know I love them. I don't need to say it. Well, yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. You do need to say it because you know that tough love you think you're giving them is coming across completely different there. Gigi, when you mentioned, coach, that you had a young man come to your class and you said he'd go sleep, that that probably is going to and I know I'm preaching to the choir that's going to benefit him.

00:48:08:07 - 00:48:27:18
Speaker 2
And bless him more than anything you could have had him do in for years in your class, just knowing why this person sees me, sees my needs. I think we communicated just by having those conversations. You mentioned a player that you had coached and trained for years that is now in Nashville and making some of themselves in the music world.

00:48:28:22 - 00:48:52:08
Speaker 2
I love during the workouts during the season. We know how tough it is. We have a practice schedule and it's regimented. To the minute we got here. You get 10 minutes in these here, you get 20 there, if we're lucky, whatever during the offseason. I love going to the weight room and it really it's it's important to have assistant coaches that will help you in the weight room because sometimes I do nothing but spot players and coach you up and help them.

00:48:52:16 - 00:49:09:12
Speaker 2
Sometimes I'll say to our coaching staff, Hey guys, I need you to step up big today because I'm just going to lift with these two players and during the lift they're just conversations, you know, how's life going? What's going on with your girlfriend, what's going on with this or what's going on with that? And just communicating the you mentioned extreme ownership.

00:49:09:12 - 00:49:25:08
Speaker 2
I had a chance to go with my son and hear Jocko speak here in San Diego alone. It was cool. He's amazing. And then literally two days later, my wife and I went to the beach and we're getting in my truck and we look up to our right where we're parked and there's this beautiful house and he stayed on the deck.

00:49:25:08 - 00:49:46:16
Speaker 2
There was some wedding party. As a 13 year old schoolgirl, I wanted to go and I did. I resisted the urge, but I was like, Oh. And he would look to me like, Who are you? You know, truly, as you should but no, I think the extreme ownership is it's so easy for all of us when life doesn't go our way to point fingers at someone else and blame someone else.

00:49:46:16 - 00:49:48:08
Speaker 2
But that gets us nowhere ever.

00:49:48:15 - 00:50:07:12
Speaker 1
That that goes back to the blame, complain, defend, right? Like that's another one that we talk about and like and that's Brian nice. It's like blame complained because it's easy. And that's why this our next episode coming out this week is all about growth mindset instead of fixed mindset. And and these are all things that we talk about on a regular basis on our show.

00:50:07:12 - 00:50:25:18
Speaker 1
And it seems like we're repeating ourselves. We may lose listeners, but it's not complicated, is it? We're in and we say like, you know, you're referring to a lot of the coaches who aren't supporting kids they're not supporting their families and tell them, hey, I appreciate you. I love you, keep doing this is great, no matter what you do or whatever happens.

00:50:25:18 - 00:50:37:02
Speaker 1
But you've got my trust, right? Like there's not enough of that. And they're not listening to our show because they don't think they need that. Right. So that's how do we get that message out to those folks, right?

00:50:37:15 - 00:51:01:12
Speaker 2
Yeah. Well, I think sorry. I think the to the Twitter world and social media is I really think it mirrors I think there's a lot of keyboard warriors. It's a lot easier. And safer for people to sit back and type stuff that they would never say to anyone space. But at the same time, I mentioned this earlier, but our messages, even when we sound like a broken record to ourselves, it's needed in this world.

00:51:01:12 - 00:51:10:12
Speaker 2
People hear it. And I think the great majority of people want to hear it. They just we just need keep doing what we're doing, you know, just just keep putting positivity out there.

00:51:11:15 - 00:51:37:06
Speaker 3
Those who are not watching the show, you should wear beautiful three men, beautiful hats. But those you're just listening. I was laughing the whole time Crowe was talking earlier because it's funny to see another individual do the same type of thing. We do like Mark and I. And in this in this sense, yeah. That's why I was laughing because you're like you kind of praise some of the stuff I said and you go to Mark and he's praising some of the stuff Mark said.

00:51:37:06 - 00:51:55:05
Speaker 3
I'm like, this guy's doing the Jedi mind. Like, but that but but it was also amazing because I can see you're preaching what you do because you're treating this. I'm assuming like you would your players, your coaching staff. So it's just like you're listening, what's happening, you're engaging the conversation, remembering things, and I can totally see how you're presenting that.

00:51:55:24 - 00:52:06:24
Speaker 3
To your athletes, your wife, your grandchildren, whatever the case may be. So, yeah, awesome. I am so happy you, Eli, this man. This is like a kid right now just listening to this.

00:52:07:24 - 00:52:24:16
Speaker 1
And it's funny you talk about taking the time to talk to players because when Guy and I coach together, I love being his assistant coach. Because I see him scrambling doing line ups, and in the end, he's just pros and he's dialed in, and I'm like, talking to the kids, like, hey, man, how you doing? This is great.

00:52:24:16 - 00:52:25:14
Speaker 1
I'm so proud of you.

00:52:25:15 - 00:52:27:18
Speaker 3
Terrible, terrible.

00:52:27:24 - 00:52:47:08
Speaker 1
But it's hard. Like you say, you're dialed in and games, you're dialed into the game, so you're not getting that, but you have to find those moments. And I know I'm reading this book right now. It's called Team Team Chemistry. And it's these guys, they say like they're their national team coaches. And when they're traveling with their team, they do breakfast with the coaches.

00:52:47:14 - 00:52:53:24
Speaker 1
So they pick two or three athletes to have breakfast. And then just they don't talk about the sport. They just talk about everything else.

00:52:53:24 - 00:52:58:07
Speaker 3
So and then college because I did something wrong. So coach coaches said.

00:52:58:23 - 00:53:02:13
Speaker 1
That was that was conditioning. That was conditioning. I was conditioning.

00:53:02:13 - 00:53:04:22
Speaker 3
I had nothing to do with wanting to know how my life was going.

00:53:06:03 - 00:53:25:04
Speaker 2
If I if I can share one thing that just came to my heart, it's 11 way. I've definitely matured as a coach myself over the years was I have stopped taking people's first answers as their final answer. What I mean by that is I would ask players, Hey, how are you doing school? Good, coach, great. And then grades come out like, Whoa, what happened?

00:53:25:11 - 00:53:42:01
Speaker 2
You know, they now when I say, hey, I grades great coach. So A's and B's and the like. So you have one seed. Like we have a different definition of great. Like what so dig a little bit deeper. When I ask a player so often, like, Hey, how are you doing? Good. I look at them like, What's the matter?

00:53:42:23 - 00:54:01:20
Speaker 2
Good. Like, why aren't you great? And they're looking like You're healthy, the sun's shining. We're in the weight room right now. We're on the football field. What's going on in your life? I'm trying to dig deeper. And here's what I love about I think we're actually coaches and not that I'm better than other coaches. I often say when I'm speaking to places and I believe this to my core, there's not a greater coach out there than me.

00:54:03:09 - 00:54:27:09
Speaker 2
There's not a greater coach and people get defensive with that. And I immediately say, Listen, I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else. I don't think that someone greater than me. And here's why I believe that to my core, because I know how I define success. If I can save one life, if I can help one young man or young woman, one family that's far greater than a championship ring we've been blessed to win in the past and are aiming to win in the future.

00:54:28:05 - 00:55:00:17
Speaker 2
I just think it's powerful. And what I think we mess up as coaches is and I'm guilty of this myself, I try every day to get better at it of having those deep conversations with our starters. And now I try as much as I can for the kid that's on the spectrum, the kid with special needs, the kid, whatever it is, the kid that might be that third string JV kid that can't put his helmet on straight, have those same conversations with them A because it blesses them and be maybe is equally as important when those studs walk by and see me having that one on one time with that player, they know I'm not

00:55:00:18 - 00:55:20:00
Speaker 2
doing it for selfish gain. They know I'm not doing it just because, hey, he's talking to so-and-so because he wants him to play football and help us win a championship. They'll see me talking to so-and-so who may never be strong enough to carry the water bottle out there at halftime. Or whatever it is, you know? So it's once again the relationships, truly caring all people, loving people.

00:55:20:13 - 00:55:23:21
Speaker 2
You're not going to have a losing season occurring.

00:55:23:23 - 00:55:46:16
Speaker 3
How do you that's exhausting. Like straight. That's exhausting when you're going through that stuff and you're doing everything for the right reasons. So one, it's exhausting. So how do you sleep good at night? And what motivates the motivator who or what motivate, you know, like you're engaging for other people, but what engages you? What fires you up? Like who or what?

00:55:47:14 - 00:56:11:22
Speaker 2
Great. Gosh, you just said so much there. It is exhausting but man, I friggin want to go to my grave exhausted and having a lot of fuel attacked. I didn't use you know, I try every day when I get when I get home before I hop on social media or whatever, obviously spend time with my wife and kids and whatever we're doing, but I try to text at least one player and it might be, hey, Logan, phenomenal job.

00:56:11:22 - 00:56:28:11
Speaker 2
Today with a clean was a young man or it might be, hey, so-and-so, we miss your workouts. Is everything OK? What can I do for you? So so that's one of the easy ways to to build upon those face to face conversations but who will who motivates me first and foremost is my faith. I truly know who I am and who I am.

00:56:29:13 - 00:56:58:16
Speaker 2
And the more the more I focus on that the an old saw that audience of one not not rage against machine, but the contemporary Christians of all is just man. If I can try to serve Christ and try to be be as crazy as I can, I know I'm living a life worth living that motivates me. And I had a new coach who just hired I'm walking into my coach's office about a half an hour before we hopped on, and I pulled his player aside to say, Can we talk in my office for a second?

00:56:58:19 - 00:57:13:22
Speaker 2
Why the praise him for some stuff and ask him some questions. And then one of my new coaches said, Coach, can we talk in my player? He's looking at me like I don't have that long, coach. And he knew I had this to go on and I said, Yeah. I said, Sure, you go upstairs. I'll be there within 5 minutes to coach you four and half minutes.

00:57:13:22 - 00:57:29:01
Speaker 2
What's up? And he just started getting teary eyed, young man, probably 26 just came out of the Marines. He goes, Coach, I went to a party last night. I was drinking stuff and the whole time I was there I couldn't wait to come to practice and he's like, Thank you so much for it. And he has never coached before.

00:57:29:19 - 00:57:51:09
Speaker 2
I said, Man, I said, I said that, that, that gift that fuels me, that lights me on fire because here's a young coach I don't know much about him yet. I know that three times the interview process, talking about life in the weight room and then talk a little bit of football. And he's been with us now for about a month, month and a half, and he thought he cared enough to pull me aside and said, I just want to thank you for having me on the staff.

00:57:51:09 - 00:58:14:04
Speaker 2
I mean, that that's what gets me going. And I truly mean this meeting guys like you meeting other people that have the same mission, same passion for making a difference, that's what fuels me and gives me strength to know that. And I never thought I was alone in this world of doing this stuff. But knowing that there are other people out there that are fighting just as hard as Satan's fighting this the heart of the people that are keyboard warriors, trying to spread hate.

00:58:14:11 - 00:58:19:06
Speaker 2
There are people out there that dedicate their lives to blessing and empowering other people.

00:58:19:20 - 00:58:22:07
Speaker 3
Just ask our families, all three of our family.

00:58:22:11 - 00:58:24:11
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:58:24:15 - 00:58:41:10
Speaker 2
And it's funny, I'll make this real quick as far as our families, whatever. I've been blessed to be a head coach. I make sure we have we never have coaches meetings on Sundays, ever, ever. And I've been made fun of for that. I've been really cool for that judge for that, and I'm fine with all of that. I'm, I'm a firm believer.

00:58:41:10 - 00:59:04:05
Speaker 2
You can be successful and I'm talking about the scoreboard now. You can have wins on the scoreboard and still have balance in your life with your families. And never I've coached with coaches before that brag about being, you know, coaching widows during the season. My family knows, you know, well, I've seen too many coaches lose their families after winning too many championship rings, lose their wedding ring because they pride themselves in hell.

00:59:04:05 - 00:59:20:16
Speaker 2
Yeah, this is how much I care about football. Well, if we're really trying to raise better young men and young women, let's teach them what balance looks like. Let's teach them what being a true man looks like, where you love your family first and foremost, and you still point to others. I'm getting preaching, so I'll stop.

00:59:21:01 - 00:59:36:06
Speaker 3
It's funny you say that. Some are going to jump in and jump in after this because it just hit a note with me. I was trying to progress my way through the baseball world, and I always am. But in the sense and I was starting to surround myself with people that I see, man, that person successful and that person successful.

00:59:36:06 - 00:59:56:08
Speaker 3
And then I have the conversations right when I find out is single, divorced, third of what they're like. And I was just like, I'm not willing to go to that distance to get that job if that's what it's going to cost me. Right. In that sense. So that's, you know, for me exactly like you just you got to find that balance and you be true to yourself.

00:59:56:08 - 01:00:13:05
Speaker 3
And if that leads to something cool and if it doesn't lead to something cool because you know, you know your y you know your purpose and you know who you are surrounding yourself and what you want to do in the bigger picture. But it's funny. Everybody wants everything else, but what are you willing to sacrifice for? And if it's not one of those things, then it's not worth sacrificing for.

01:00:13:16 - 01:00:19:17
Speaker 2
Yeah. And how many people climb that ladder of success get to the top to realize they've got the ladder against the wrong dang walls.

01:00:20:06 - 01:00:22:01
Speaker 3
Or the bumps literally by themselves?

01:00:22:01 - 01:00:22:23
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah.

01:00:23:12 - 01:00:33:14
Speaker 1
I'd rather go somewhat far with my family in tow and then be proud of me and be part of that voyage. If I can't make them part of that voyage, I'm not going on it like it's not an ache.

01:00:33:20 - 01:00:35:11
Speaker 3
What is it? Go if you want to go.

01:00:35:19 - 01:00:38:07
Speaker 1
If you want to go that alone.

01:00:38:07 - 01:00:38:17
Speaker 2
Well.

01:00:38:24 - 01:00:40:09
Speaker 1
You got it. You got to.

01:00:40:13 - 01:00:42:14
Speaker 2
Go. Yeah, sorry. I love it.

01:00:43:17 - 01:01:00:02
Speaker 1
See, I see, Coach, I knew we would get along because I was like, Oh, man, this is. I feel like it's just another bald guy and coach and say they are doing, which I love. I love, I love so you kind of tee this up with the idea of what motivates you and what keeps you driven and going.

01:01:00:02 - 01:01:21:15
Speaker 1
And I know being conscious of your time here. So I want to I want to kind of start tidying this up for you. But I want I want to ask you and we have coaches that listen, we have athletes that listen. We have you know, business leaders that listen to our show families. I want to know, like what piece of advice would you leave?

01:01:21:15 - 01:01:36:12
Speaker 1
Want to leave somebody? We want to we want to give our listeners like either the best advice you've ever gotten as a leader or the best like book you've ever written or written or read as a leader. Where would you point people for something? A great resource in leadership?

01:01:37:07 - 01:01:58:12
Speaker 2
Yeah. One of the greatest coaching books I've ever read is Inside Out Coaching by Joe Herman. It's I'm not sure if you guys have read it. It's more of an autobiography. It is an autobiography about his life. The gentleman played at Syracuse, played grew up playing basketball, lacrosse, I believe play lacrosse and football at Syracuse, went on to the NFL for years, I believe, with the Colts.

01:01:59:21 - 01:02:21:20
Speaker 2
But he and I'll never forget it says there are two types of coaches in all things transactional, like a bank transaction. I'm going to point to so-and-so because he's a stud. I'm going to get something from him in return. And that's the only reason I'm an important to him, like a bank transaction. And then there are transformational coaches that realize it's about transforming lives far more than anything else.

01:02:21:22 - 01:02:41:04
Speaker 2
Just making a difference. And I think if you look at the sports world from the youngest kids playing any sport to the best pros at any level or any sport it's about transformational coaching, changing lives a lot along the way, using your sport as a platform to change lives.

01:02:42:06 - 01:02:59:19
Speaker 1
I'm ready to go. I'm fired up our spring camp starting in a couple of weeks here. And I'm like, I just I just want to get at it and like it and I just want to go out and coach again now. Like, doing these conversation. I don't think this is something that we do enough as coaches. I know there's different things out there and we follow each other on Twitter and Instagram and stuff like that.

01:02:59:19 - 01:03:10:16
Speaker 1
But actually having these conversation among other coaches and sharing the stuff that's the rich stuff that also enhances our own lives, right? So which is really, really cool.

01:03:11:04 - 01:03:11:13
Speaker 2
Yeah.

01:03:12:00 - 01:03:13:03
Speaker 1
JG Anything else?

01:03:14:02 - 01:03:16:19
Speaker 3
Waiting for the punch line to see if he's going to hammer.

01:03:16:20 - 01:03:17:01
Speaker 2
Not.

01:03:18:21 - 01:03:20:21
Speaker 3
Here you go, Hines. And you know.

01:03:22:19 - 01:03:27:18
Speaker 1
What's next? How are the Islanders looking for this upcoming season? Ah, we are excited.

01:03:28:02 - 01:03:46:05
Speaker 2
I'm amped up. I'm the eternal optimist. It hasn't failed me yet. But I'm always glass is half full. And who can I help, you know, quench the thirst type of guy. Good. We lost our starting quarterback. I had a young man that I taught in fourth grade, doesn't live on island. My wife and I live off island as well.

01:03:46:10 - 01:04:05:07
Speaker 2
But he was able to play here because his grandparents had a house, so he could without. We weren't cutting any corners. It wasn't anything shady. He was able to play for a start for a varsity quarterback as a freshman start as a sophomore, we won league that year. Grandparents sold the house. He's gone. Oh, right away. I'm like, All right, God.

01:04:05:07 - 01:04:21:15
Speaker 2
Like, I get it. Like, here, here's the challenge. The greatest challenge your court ordered is we have a North Island, which is the naval base. OK, let's see. It's a it's a challenge because it's a revolving door of coaches and families and players that come and go where you might have a stud move in. And a year later, he's gone.

01:04:22:05 - 01:04:39:05
Speaker 2
And sometimes, you know, so that's a challenge. I embrace it. It's helped me change my coaching where we talk about culture, we mentioned earlier on in the program culture. For me, I never thought it was as simple as throwing a slogan on a gym wall or a t shirt. I think that helps kids like that buy into it.

01:04:39:15 - 01:05:13:08
Speaker 2
But more than ever, I've understood that culture is a living, breathing organism that has always got to be nurtured and built upon and pruned and all that stuff. But I'm excited you know, we I'm excited. Just once again, I'm you guys know this, but championships are built in the offseason and we've had a great offseason so far. Guys are buying in more than ever and we start spring ball Monday and I am so amped up because I get some new faces, show it up and we get a lot of returning guys.

01:05:13:08 - 01:05:30:09
Speaker 2
We're a small program. When I was a head coach in New Hampshire, we had 144 players in our program, freshmen to seniors. And for New Hampshire that was, that was big, not I but we had to get our teeth kicked in first two years, built a powerhouse and here a lot of we're still freshmen through seniors right now.

01:05:30:09 - 01:05:40:06
Speaker 2
I'm looking at my board. We're probably going to be out 60, 60 deep. That's it. So we're small, but I'm loving it. We're going to be great. To answer your question.

01:05:40:10 - 01:05:49:07
Speaker 1
One of these days when I retire from from being in Canada and want to get away and get somewhere warmer, I may ask if you got to coaching, I'll sweep the sheds for you if you need to.

01:05:49:15 - 01:05:49:18
Speaker 2
Be.

01:05:49:22 - 01:05:50:22
Speaker 1
Down somewhere warmer.

01:05:51:08 - 01:05:52:02
Speaker 2
Some higher.

01:05:52:06 - 01:05:56:04
Speaker 1
Yeah. Although we play with 12 guys here. Yeah, I'll.

01:05:56:04 - 01:06:09:03
Speaker 2
Tell you, I always told you I always thought I hated winter. Yeah. Winter's beautiful. It's 81 and beautiful. Right now I was in the wrong part of the country. Wrong part of the world. You know I was in the winter six now seven months long.

01:06:09:14 - 01:06:11:04
Speaker 1
So that's amazing.

01:06:11:13 - 01:06:12:01
Speaker 2
I love.

01:06:12:01 - 01:06:21:15
Speaker 1
It. We cannot wait to see. We're going to follow you and we're going to follow the islanders and we're rooting for you all the way up here in Canada and looking forward to the continued interaction.

01:06:21:15 - 01:06:22:20
Speaker 2
And likewise.

01:06:23:13 - 01:06:25:19
Speaker 1
We got to have them back there.

01:06:25:19 - 01:06:27:08
Speaker 3
So yeah, that's a no brainer.

01:06:27:09 - 01:06:29:03
Speaker 2
I would love to. I would love that.

01:06:29:10 - 01:06:37:14
Speaker 1
This is amazing. Well, that does it for this episode of Benchmark. Thanks for listening. Until next time.

01:06:38:06 - 01:06:39:02
Speaker 2
Keep crushing it.

01:06:40:02 - 01:06:40:23
Speaker 3
You did it.