Mindset - Creating and Living and Progressing with a Championship Mindset

What we talk about:

• This is where a good accountability partner can come into play. Or you need to really become self-honest and reflective and ask yourself important questions like
• Am I truly open to accepting change, responsibility, advice, input, criticism?
• It takes experience, perspective, and discipline to shift to a growth mindset and once you get there it’s like unlocking all the cheat codes in a video game. The possibilities are endless.
• You are going to have bad days. 
• No it’s not feasible that everything is perfect like an Instagram post there will be days you will get punched in the face.
• The idea is to minimize those days or isolate the bad moments in a day and not let them ruin all 1440 minutes of your day.
• Growth and fulfillment often lie on the other side of hell
• We want to continue to grow and learn as we age. 
• We want to be the best fathers, husbands, friends, teachers and coaches we can be.
• To do this it requires getting outside of a comfort zone and being reflective that good enough isn’t enough
• Examples of fixed mindset that limit your success
  • Constructive criticism is just a personal attack.”
  • “I give up when I'm frustrated.” I’m taking my toys with me and leaving
  • “I don't need to learn any more.”
  • “It is what it is.”
  • Jealous of others success or attention
• How do you stop an average mindset?
  • Avoid BCD
  • Aim for Self-Awareness, Reflection and Reassessment
  • Avoid Negative, Fixed Mindset Self-Talk
  • Ask for Feedback (and listen to it)   
  • Do Not Overreact to Failure (keep it in perspective) 
  • Do Not Compare yourself to others, only the best version of yourself. How good can I actually get?
  • Celebrate Effort (POO)
• UNSTICK YOURSELF
• Eliminate mental limitations on physical performance
• PROGRESS IS THE STANDARD

Call To Action:

Create your own mindset list with 3 columns START STOP CONTINUE. In each list 3-5 things you want in those categories.

Connect with us:
https://linktr.ee/BenchmarkedPodcast

Thanks for listening to our show. We want to hear from you! Leave us a comment and/or a  review.
KEEP CRUSHING IT!

Mizuno


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Transcript

00:00:00:01 - 00:00:28:01
Speaker 1
Hey, team, welcome the benchmarked coach mess here along with Coach Larocque. Thanks for joining us today. We are going to talk in this show about something that has been around for a long time, but often proves to be an obstacle for many people in achieving total success. Having the right mindset. Uncle G3 why are people stuck in their mindset?

00:00:28:10 - 00:00:30:03
Speaker 1
Can you tell me, please?

00:00:31:16 - 00:00:53:11
Speaker 2
I don't have the magic pill necessarily for this, but my quick reaction to it is we are creatures of habit. We just kind of go to our default and our brains default basically is to keep us comfortable, keep us alive. And that's kind of the opposite of what we're going to talk about today, basically, which is your mindset.

00:00:53:21 - 00:01:07:10
Speaker 2
So able to shift gears and get your brain away from comfort. Don't be wrong. Comfort is a good thing in certain circumstances. But if we're trying to get to another level, we definitely just can't simply use the default.

00:01:07:20 - 00:01:30:05
Speaker 1
Yeah, and you'll hear us use the terms today a lot. An idea of fixed mindset, growth mindset. And this has been researched. It's been talked about. We use it a lot in education, but it's something that we can use in our lives on an everyday basis. We like the idea of using the term like a mindset of excellence, or some people use the idea of elite.

00:01:30:05 - 00:01:46:23
Speaker 1
But you guys all know how I feel about the word elite, and you get to use that word with caution. So we might throw it around a little bit today. So don't go back and be like, Betsy hates the word elite, but in this sense, what we're talking about is that mindset, that excellence, everything you do should be about excellence.

00:01:47:10 - 00:02:02:01
Speaker 1
And then in the educational terms, we talk a lot about like being fixed or growth mindset. And, you know, I was thinking about this G when we were talking about doing this show, you know, who is going to get zero out of this episode today?

00:02:02:12 - 00:02:03:00
Speaker 2
It's me.

00:02:03:22 - 00:02:33:02
Speaker 1
It's the people who actually have a fixed mindset that already think that what they're doing is amazing and they're not open to growth and development. So they're going to be listening to this is like, Oh, man, now I'm great, I'm doing this. And I got no areas for improvement and all this stuff. So it's interesting. I was I forget where I read this, but they're saying this is the challenging part for some people is, you know, if you're a lifelong learner and you want to improve, you're like, Yeah, I can accept trying to grow in certain areas.

00:02:33:11 - 00:02:54:09
Speaker 1
But then you have some people that just be like, No, I'm I'm doing really great where I am. Like, you see a comfort zone. So they're just going to continue to roll through their life thinking they're crushing it. But at the end of the day, they're just kind of like they're fixed. They're stuck there, they're mentally stuck.

00:02:55:03 - 00:03:14:07
Speaker 2
When you think you know, everything is when you find out, you know, nothing. Basically, that's the quote that I remember. I would love to quote as a coach I had that told me that. So when you think, you know, everything is when you find out, you know nothing. And that's total growth mindset. If I've ever heard it, I just try to wrap my head.

00:03:14:07 - 00:03:38:00
Speaker 2
When you think you literally know, like, no, I'm good, I'm good or not. And it's funny, in the last year or so, I've met some coaches have been at this for a long time. You know, and they let me kind of parachute in on some some zooms they're having with other coaches or different settings. And I remember watching the coach 32 years of coaching and he's done a great job and he's sitting there hammering notes away.

00:03:38:21 - 00:03:44:24
Speaker 2
I've seen another Jerry Weinstein's another one. I've seen him in presentations. He's like the godfather of coaching.

00:03:45:23 - 00:03:46:06
Speaker 1
And.

00:03:46:11 - 00:04:11:06
Speaker 2
He's in the front row taking notes or quoting other people or, you know, these are people in our eyes that are at the top. But the reason, again, they're at the top is because they're continually learning. They they know. They don't know everything. They're continually sharpening their axes to get better every single day. You know, you can kind of not even I was going to say you can maybe take your foot off the gas a little bit, say who?

00:04:11:09 - 00:04:19:07
Speaker 2
You know, and I'm doing pretty good. Maybe but it's when you take your foot off the gas, if somebody didn't take their foot off the gas and they're going to pass you in the next lane.

00:04:19:23 - 00:04:39:14
Speaker 1
And I and I always to add on to your idea, iron sharpens iron, right? Yeah. So you need to line yourself up with people who and this is a great opportunity for us to talk about the idea of our accountability partner again. Whereas if I'm doing something, you're going to be like mess. That's not a good idea. That's not good.

00:04:39:14 - 00:05:02:22
Speaker 1
You have to have somebody that you have to be able to listen to and be like, Oh my God, I shake it up right where I feel people that are fixed, one don't accept an accountability partner because, you know, say on the extreme, they don't want to be told that what they're doing is wrong. They don't want to be held accountable.

00:05:03:04 - 00:05:12:05
Speaker 1
They're comfortable. Right. So if you're comfortable, you're not going to be held accountable and you're not going to want to grow in those areas.

00:05:14:17 - 00:05:18:02
Speaker 2
I have nothing to say. I was just thinking in my head.

00:05:18:08 - 00:05:37:19
Speaker 1
People who are listening, they're driving to work right now and they're listening to our show and they're like, yeah, like, like, yeah, like, I, I, I want to be better. So you're listening to the show probably because you want to be better if you have a fixed mindset. You're not reading books. You're not asking people like, hey, is this right?

00:05:37:20 - 00:06:03:02
Speaker 1
Am I doing this? Well, you know, so it's really like, I the being open to the idea of self honesty, like, man, I think I can be better. Like, you know, do we walk out of the building at the end of the day and say, Oh, man, I wasn't a good teacher today, or I wasn't a good coach today or I wasn't a good leader today.

00:06:03:11 - 00:06:25:08
Speaker 1
I wasn't a good boss today. Do you walk out of the building asking yourself those questions when you're on your way home? From where you're coming from? Do you reflect? And then we talk about we'll talk a lot about this even more is what did I do? Well, today? How can what can I do better? And then how am I going to do it?

00:06:25:17 - 00:06:35:24
Speaker 1
And this is why it's interesting about the idea of having that mindset of I am an ass, but I need to know what I need to do to keep kicking ass. Right.

00:06:36:23 - 00:06:54:09
Speaker 2
I know I can use myself definitely as an example. I've just transition to another school. I, I was at a school for a while and now that I can reflect back on it, I think I was stuck in, I was in cruise control, thought I was doing everything right. I think I was still trying to grow within that setting.

00:06:55:10 - 00:07:20:17
Speaker 2
Obviously was time to change. So those of you who change careers or change jobs or and it wasn't, I think till I realized once I made the change of scenery where it's interesting where people hold you accountable people. You look at things in a different light, but if you're not looking for it, you won't find it. If you sit there like, oh, poor me, or.

00:07:21:00 - 00:07:21:12
Speaker 1
You know.

00:07:21:12 - 00:07:41:24
Speaker 2
I went through that window also where how did this happen to me? Where now I'm at the mindset of this happened for me. It was the best thing that could have happened for me. You kind of don't maybe sometimes realize that when you fall in certain situations in life, the things you feel like things happen to you, but you definitely definitely find out they happen for you.

00:07:42:09 - 00:07:55:06
Speaker 2
You might realize that later that day it might take you a week, it might take you a month, it might take you a year. But if you're continually growing, you're going to eventually find out that that happened for you and not to you. And I'm living proof of my pain to that.

00:07:56:00 - 00:08:24:14
Speaker 1
Now we talk about growth mindset in education, but it's and if it's in every walk of life, it's in business, it's everywhere, wanting to to get better. And there's there's some authors out there that do a really bang up job in describing what growth is and all that stuff. And for a lot of people, they're not they're not applying it properly, like Carol Dweck, one of the the greatest researchers when it comes to to this.

00:08:24:22 - 00:08:50:18
Speaker 1
And she says a lot of the times is where we're celebrating the wrong thing. She and her idea is you want to make sure that you praise the effort, not the outcome. And you're praising the effort that led to the outcome. So basically what she's saying is it's not just effort, but it's strategy. So progress is the standard.

00:08:51:06 - 00:09:18:19
Speaker 1
So the idea is as human beings and as leaders, progress is what we should be seeing out of our people and ourselves. You should always be moving forward. And I think that's where some people get stuck, like I've been to PD days and sessions where you see teachers like, you know, you're kind of halfway through their career. You get you get kind of three groups of teachers when you go to like a like a conference.

00:09:19:03 - 00:09:37:06
Speaker 1
And this probably happens in all industry. You got some people that they're forced to be there. They put their feet up on the table and they're like, none of this is going to help me whatsoever. You get the people that are all in there, like dancing on the tables. They're bringing, give me all the information I can. And then you get some you get somebody that's in the middle.

00:09:37:06 - 00:09:55:07
Speaker 1
They're like kind of been doing it for a long time and I've seen a lot. And so what is it that you're going to give me that I can use? So there's there's kind of that realm of where you want to be, but the idea is there's something to learn from everybody. You just have to be open to it.

00:09:55:07 - 00:10:00:10
Speaker 1
Sticky eyeballs right? Open ears, get the radar on and be ready to grow.

00:10:01:15 - 00:10:23:15
Speaker 2
Let's and I'm with you. I'm looking back in the education fields. I'm thinking days or days or conferences. But again, we spread them across all different type. You know, for businesses and other walks of life, you have to go in with the right mindset, like you've kind of hit the nail on the head. You have to go in with the right mindset in those settings.

00:10:23:24 - 00:10:45:23
Speaker 2
But again, now I'll look at and I'll talk to the superintendents right now or I'll be talking to the person running conferences and the business owners. You also, I think anyways, you have to create the environment that is welcoming for the people going into it. They don't go in with their backs up right away because that's that's not going to be a setting, a very receptive setting for everyone to be there.

00:10:46:05 - 00:11:06:05
Speaker 2
So you also have to do your research in that regard. Like what do you think people are looking for or are you just stuffing things in people's mouths? Like, this is this is where I want this to go and you're going to have to do it at some point, I'm sure. But again, we say player led, not coach fed, but that literally applies to all professions.

00:11:06:14 - 00:11:06:18
Speaker 1
At.

00:11:06:19 - 00:11:07:09
Speaker 2
The same time.

00:11:08:03 - 00:11:17:08
Speaker 1
You know, and it's it's funny because I remember being at a conference and I don't even know if I should tell the story live on this, but it's a good one. So I.

00:11:17:09 - 00:11:18:18
Speaker 2
Had to delete it and.

00:11:21:00 - 00:11:40:07
Speaker 1
And it was like I forget what was called it was the worst PD session I'd ever been to. And part of it was it wasn't handled well from the beginning. And it was behavior management systems and it was mandatory. We all had to do this training. And the I don't even know who was the presenter of this training.

00:11:40:08 - 00:12:01:06
Speaker 1
Was the idea as if like if you were being attacked by a student and what you had to do. And so they are showing these like moves and stuff like that. And then, I mean, we're in the high school setting. We have kids. We had a kid at the time who was six to he was rapping on the bench like 300 and something he was a monster.

00:12:01:10 - 00:12:22:13
Speaker 1
Right. And so there's the two of the ladies that I work with in my office. They're pretty petite. I don't know if between the two of them, they crack £200 together on the scale. So one of my colleagues is like, Well, what are we going to do if this guy comes in like wants to like throw me around and then the presenter is like, well, you're just going to put this hold on them.

00:12:22:13 - 00:12:43:03
Speaker 1
And so they're like, there's no way that's going to work. So I ended up there like mess. Like, we're at attack us. And they were going to try to use the moves. All I knew was I had them both pinned on the ground within about 10 seconds, and then the lady got all upset and the whole staff got all discombobulated and the whole thing came undone.

00:12:43:03 - 00:13:03:05
Speaker 1
I was in the principal's office with the girl. I was just it was a disaster, but the whole thing was mishandled. Like from the get go. And the idea was we left there as a staff thinking we're not better because of this now. We just totally discombobulated the lady. And it was brutal. But it's the idea of what can we learn from this?

00:13:03:05 - 00:13:23:01
Speaker 1
What's the situation where you're going to go into a place and learn and be open to be better? What probably would have been better if she would have said, Hey, maybe we should come up with a solution where you're going to call for help and you're going to get this and you're going to get that, or she's like, Not that you can take this guy down, and there's no way with what they are teaching us, they're going to take this guy down.

00:13:23:01 - 00:13:25:19
Speaker 1
So anyway, I'm trying to think.

00:13:26:19 - 00:13:44:11
Speaker 2
When I first started taking CPR and I could be off and somebody can correct me on this, but I remember when I first started and again, I could be wrong here, but I remember taken for CPR to be any and remember went from like breaths to compressions and now it's kind of progressed. It's more about the compressions than it is necessary breaths.

00:13:44:11 - 00:13:44:17
Speaker 1
Yeah.

00:13:44:22 - 00:14:00:16
Speaker 2
But like now the whole process of like find somebody, tell them to call 911. I can't remember because you're making me think of that right now. If at the beginning of all this, that was even part of like the lay of the land, it was like, do this, do this and now it's just like, hey, find somebody, tell them to call.

00:14:00:17 - 00:14:07:20
Speaker 2
And then you kind of do your thing. But like, there's other mechanisms in place because this isn't like the only way of doing things yeah.

00:14:08:02 - 00:14:09:05
Speaker 1
Yeah, right.

00:14:09:05 - 00:14:28:18
Speaker 2
Like you're saying, hey, call for help, get somebody else have designated people in school because, you know, because the size of the individual or they handle this person, you know, get it's like the Hulk is just ripped off. All this blows away green. There's that one Avenger that can come down, like, find that lady wherever she is. Black Widow, find her.

00:14:28:18 - 00:14:34:13
Speaker 1
Find black and I love how we got the role in, like.

00:14:34:20 - 00:14:37:04
Speaker 2
Super Marvel. This is amazing and amazing.

00:14:37:08 - 00:14:46:14
Speaker 1
But your analogy on First Aid is perfect because if you think about it, since we've been in this and we've always had to get recertified, it's evolved. It's a growth mindset.

00:14:46:21 - 00:14:49:10
Speaker 2
Yes. The no, the aid now.

00:14:49:24 - 00:15:08:19
Speaker 1
Yeah, the red. The red cross didn't just say, oh, this is good, right? We're going to stick with it. No, they found a better way. This is we've done research. We found that that's a growth mindset. Now, I like the idea of like mindset to me is more of like, let's talk about the idea of excellence and growth.

00:15:08:19 - 00:15:31:08
Speaker 1
And I think one of the things is people have to realize that the I want to talk about just mindset in general and the idea of you have to compose yourself with the mindset that you're going out and you're crushing it every day. You're getting out of bed every day, and I'm going to crush it I am going to crush today.

00:15:31:14 - 00:15:46:02
Speaker 1
It's going and have a good day. It's a good day to have a good day. And I think a lot of people don't have that mindset when you get out of bed and your mindset is like, Well, I'm not sure about today or I'm not sure about parts of today. I think that's where people get the idea.

00:15:46:04 - 00:16:03:08
Speaker 2
But you're always going to be right, though, if you don't think it's going to be a good day of set, right? If you think it's going to be a good day. That's like a proven statistic. It's it's been done. What your mindset is going into it is exactly how it's going to be. If you think you're going to be poor later and that's what's going to happen because you're literally setting your own path for yourself.

00:16:03:08 - 00:16:23:24
Speaker 2
And what like we've got to stop talking. I want to make sure I say this properly. This server cut you off that just no, just like Cliff is good. We have to start talking. Listening. There you go. We got to stop listening to ourselves and start talking to ourselves. But repeat that one because it just sunk in. We have to stop listening to ourselves.

00:16:24:00 - 00:16:40:22
Speaker 2
We got to start talking to ourselves because you're going to get that negative voice like 90% of the time, probably into your brain is that's what we see. That's what we think. It's just, I don't know, we're wired that way, but we need to start talking to ourselves and saying not necessarily saying no, but flipping the script. Get away from the default.

00:16:41:03 - 00:16:57:07
Speaker 2
Let's change gears. Let's find that Chico and I know we're going to talk about a little bit later, find a cheat code and like start progressing this. You wake up with, oh, this is going to be what do you think your day is going to be like? And don't wait for other people to ignite that fire. Like, hopefully we're doing that for you, but take control of your life, man.

00:16:57:16 - 00:17:09:02
Speaker 2
Like look at things differently. It's a bright day. It's a great day. Things are going to happen for you, not to you like that type of thinking on an ongoing basis. You'll rock your day, your crush your day.

00:17:09:03 - 00:17:32:07
Speaker 1
Yeah. And I love your I the idea of what you're saying is the idea is confidence is is not a feeling. It's a choice. Yeah. Yes. Get away from the idea of like, you know, how many times I'm sure this has happened to you? How many times have you been coaching an athlete? And the parents say, I want my what can I do?

00:17:32:07 - 00:17:59:07
Speaker 1
Or What can you do to help my son or daughter's confidence I can't do anything to help their confidence. They have to realize that confidence is an action. It is not a feeling. No. And it's also not an on and off switch. Confidence is more like a dimmer right. And I think the idea is and you have your finger on that dimmer all the time and you have to continue to rely on your self.

00:17:59:07 - 00:18:24:06
Speaker 1
I always say like, don't rely on me to build your confidence because I'm in do a shitty job of. But I think the idea is you have to do your best you can on your own confidence that you control that dimmer switch in your own mind. Forget about. Remember, confidence is not a feeling it is an action. Stop making excuses, actually make stuff happen for yourself.

00:18:25:12 - 00:18:44:05
Speaker 2
I'm going to jump on your your dimmer situation there. And again, I don't know if this is like I'm having a day where I'm using myself as an example, but and that sometimes you have to change the light bulb. And when I say that, I had to reset for me personally, at the same time, you get to a point, it's like the pause and it's like my goal in the right direction.

00:18:44:05 - 00:19:01:21
Speaker 2
All these things you're second guessing or talking to yourself. But what the elite mindset sorry, using the word again that growth, they're certain it's going to change that the growth mindset in that setting is how long is it going to take you like I'm using my light bulb again, how long is it going to take you to change a light bulb?

00:19:01:23 - 00:19:17:21
Speaker 2
It's just like everything else. Example in our house. I'll get to it. I'll get to it, I'll get to it. We're all get to that point, people. We literally said, don't feel bad if you're in that situation. We all get to that point. But the question is, how long are you going to take to take out the garbage how long is going to take you to change the light bulb?

00:19:18:01 - 00:19:33:21
Speaker 2
How long is it going to take you to take up the dishes in the dishwasher? How long is it going to take you to wash that close that I think, is the difference in the growth mindset. We all know what to do. It's the action Mark talked about force of the action. Are you actually going to do it and how long is going to take you to do it?

00:19:34:10 - 00:19:54:16
Speaker 1
Oh, you're going to have crappy days. You're going to have days where a part of you talked about this before and another show when we're talking about effort and then act bigger than you feel and that you got to you got to kind of project this. You know, I'm tired of I'm going to try not to get to fired up.

00:19:54:17 - 00:19:56:14
Speaker 2
Yeah. I just I can see that. I can see is.

00:19:56:14 - 00:19:57:00
Speaker 1
Building.

00:19:57:16 - 00:19:59:14
Speaker 2
Like your shoulders got bigger? Yeah.

00:20:00:20 - 00:20:24:20
Speaker 1
You're going to have days where you're just not feeling it. You're going to have days where you just like getting out of bed is a task. But you got to you got to sign it. And I'm tired of the Instagram gurus and the tech talkers of the world. And everything. They're promoting this false reality. Remember, it's not real social media is not real that these people are promoting this thing that life is perfect.

00:20:24:20 - 00:20:45:03
Speaker 1
They're getting out of their Lamborghini on the Riviera. And, you know, they're all This is it. No, it's not 100% positive. All the time. It's not feasible to do it all the time. You're going to get punched in the face. There's going to be days we're going to feel like a bag of hammers and not be at your best.

00:20:45:18 - 00:21:06:01
Speaker 1
The true skill of your mindset is to minimize those days and to isolate bad moments in your day and not let them ruin all. What is it, 1440 minutes of your day, right? I listen to a really really cool podcast and there guys are so.

00:21:06:02 - 00:21:07:03
Speaker 2
Timeout, timeout.

00:21:07:04 - 00:21:09:03
Speaker 1
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm like, I'm not going.

00:21:09:20 - 00:21:27:22
Speaker 2
No. So no, no, this is this is a good thing. So, Tyler, you were doing a podcast and you're listening to other podcasts. How why would you do that? Why would you not just listen to what we do and what we say and how we think? Why wouldn't you just do that? We the best thing ever. Why would you listen to other people?

00:21:27:24 - 00:21:30:03
Speaker 1
I hope so. I hope you're doing okay.

00:21:32:10 - 00:21:42:23
Speaker 1
Oh, that comes back to that. You guys are terrible. Yeah. But in all its growth, I like like if I'm walking or driving somewhere and say, what do you what does Sorenson call auto you?

00:21:43:10 - 00:21:45:12
Speaker 2
The Automobile University.

00:21:45:14 - 00:22:04:07
Speaker 1
Automobile University. You're right. Like I it's easier for me. I drive a lot. This especially this year. I've driven a lot. I think I've crushed like eight books on tape plus podcasts. I just download this is where you'll learn a lot of different stuff, different perspectives. And again, I want to learn things that are outside my comfort zone.

00:22:04:07 - 00:22:28:01
Speaker 1
I'm going to tell you, this is you can laugh at me all you want. I will. I know you will. We read a book on tape where we're driving. And this is like when we were doing our maritime adventure. We read a book and it was the life of the secret life of Trees. I'm always reading books about leadership and and fulfillment and all this stuff.

00:22:28:01 - 00:22:39:03
Speaker 1
I was like, We need a change of pace. This guy was all it was an amazing book, The Secret Life of Trees, and he had the most melodic voice, and he was talking.

00:22:39:03 - 00:22:43:17
Speaker 2
You didn't even know my life meant before I listened to that book. Melodic.

00:22:43:17 - 00:23:15:11
Speaker 1
Listen to this guy. Oh, yeah, man. Listen, driving, driving across the Atlantic area was amazing listening to that book. So anyways, the idea is that you're getting back to my original idea you try to minimize the bad in a day, in a week or whatever, and don't let them ruin the whole day. Right? And you always realize, and when things are really hard, I realize this is what I say.

00:23:15:11 - 00:23:34:00
Speaker 1
I was listening to this podcast and the one guy says, growth and fulfillment often lie on the other side of hell. And I was like, Wow, you know, I'm thinking about like all the good things that ever happened to me. Like, it goes back to the day I thought I was going to die on the side of the road in the middle of that snowstorm in the middle of nowhere.

00:23:34:15 - 00:23:55:23
Speaker 1
And I'm like, Well, I'm dying. I'm going to I got to start running. And lo and behold, that's where Lisa rescues me and comes out of nowhere in the middle of the Upper Peninsula in Michigan and rescues me in the middle of a snowstorm. We get married. We have two kids. Life is amazing. Growth and fulfillment will often lie on the other side of hell.

00:23:56:08 - 00:24:21:17
Speaker 1
And you could talk about that as an athlete trying to be better at something. You are going to put the work in the weight room and those early morning weight room sessions, long practices, extra practices. As a student, you're learning and you're trying to teach yourself something, whatever, as you're a business owner and you're getting the door slammed in your face a million times until that one door opens.

00:24:21:24 - 00:24:23:22
Speaker 1
Right. Like that's that's where it is.

00:24:24:23 - 00:24:41:10
Speaker 2
It's not one thank you card from a student that, you know, that can be good for another five years. Now you're like, why am I doing this again? You know? And it just takes out one card or that one email you get like your bucket gets filled pretty quick. With one and you're really to get a thousand no's because you got that one.

00:24:41:10 - 00:25:02:15
Speaker 2
Yes. I want to go back also a couple of things. The one I think perfect is fake. I literally you talk about this Instagram, all that other stuff, perfect is fake. Like let's, let's, let's let's peel the onion layers back when we kind of see those things. That's B.S. to say. I want to go back to a little bit of an audible story at the same thing.

00:25:02:24 - 00:25:31:02
Speaker 2
So mine was Yours is the Secret Life Secret Life Trees. Yeah, I was thinking pets. That's how I remember that one. So Orange Origin by Dan Brown. Origin by Dan Brown. So my wife, Nicole, she reads, is reading this book. And we're taking a long trip now. And she's on me, like, why is it that you always have to listen to books or read books that like now that I think of, like, growth mindset, I'm always trying to learn, right?

00:25:31:08 - 00:25:52:02
Speaker 2
I don't just listen to books just to listen to books and kind of somebody take me off into a quiet land or learn about trees or whatever. So she's, she's, I'm this I'm reading this book origin. I was like, okay. I said, I give it a shot. So I download the book Origins by Dan Brown. We're like, maybe 10 minutes into it because I can't do this as a Grammy.

00:25:52:02 - 00:26:08:20
Speaker 2
You can't do this. She said, I need to read it. I can't listen to it. I can't get into it. I need to read it. So what do you think happens? I ended up crashing with this thing and I got so caught up in it. So thanks to her for you know, leading me into a different direction and that I can turn off my brain.

00:26:08:20 - 00:26:23:03
Speaker 2
But I didn't really turn it off because it was like religion and codes and how, you know, how things came about in Christianity. And I was like, man, I just went to a whole different world. So Dan Brown, origin, good for you. Thanks for all the time around.

00:26:23:03 - 00:26:26:09
Speaker 1
That stuff is amazing. And this is so good. So good.

00:26:26:09 - 00:26:31:12
Speaker 2
So like he's his Da Vinci Code, that guy, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I love that spelling.

00:26:31:12 - 00:26:43:09
Speaker 1
Enthralling. Just so well done. So and Tom Hanks like you like I read the books and watch the movie 60 deaths because it's so good. Yeah. Yeah, love it. Love it. And I think they did. Did a TV show not long ago.

00:26:43:09 - 00:26:46:07
Speaker 2
Yeah, I just watched the two Southern Code.

00:26:46:22 - 00:26:47:20
Speaker 1
And I forget what it was, but.

00:26:47:23 - 00:27:06:15
Speaker 2
Yeah, yes, it was good. Yeah, yeah. That's another subscription I bought that I don't need my life, but whatever Netflix, whatever those thing that they get me all the time, they almost got me yesterday. I wanted to watch the new season of Dexter. Yeah. Then I would have had to buy Crave membership, which is like $20 a month or two.

00:27:06:15 - 00:27:07:19
Speaker 1
Hundred dollars.

00:27:07:19 - 00:27:24:03
Speaker 2
For. I was literally sitting with my credit card looking at it, and I made the decision yesterday. I was looking at Nicole, and I was like, Do we are, don't we? And I said, You know what? We're not doing it, because then that gets us into not exercising. That gets us into like eight episodes. Will crush them in like the days.

00:27:24:11 - 00:27:33:02
Speaker 2
And it's the day that we won't get into, you know, keeping our habits or exercise. So sorry, craved not happening for now. You're not getting my $200.

00:27:33:02 - 00:28:07:02
Speaker 1
In yet it's we're actually think considering canceling cable like altogether just because this would be like sitting on the couch like whatever you could you know I can watch like gay sports and stuff like that like big games I could watch on the internet. Yeah. So but again the idea of what are you doing with your time and this is the idea of growth as well because we it's it's a great segway Jill sailboat getting this into you know like time you spend doing things growth is like you're not you're not going to do those things to make yourself better.

00:28:07:11 - 00:28:34:02
Speaker 1
Right? You're not going to have the idea of I need to get better. I can't be sitting on the couch watching the show right now. And we've talked about this before. Why am I going to watch the Super Bowl when I'm going to watch or the great cop or whatever? And all these people are super fit. And I'm sitting here eating chips, you know, and drinking beer where you and I or the idea of like, well, I can exercise during this, right?

00:28:34:02 - 00:28:53:17
Speaker 1
And and have it I'll have the game on because it's interesting to have the game on. And but the idea is that, again, I'm either going to like rip off some pushups or some pull ups or whatever during the show or commercials or give myself personal challenges. You make yourself better, cut the cable, go outside for a walk do something, get away from your phone, get away from your computer.

00:28:54:07 - 00:28:54:14
Speaker 1
Yeah.

00:28:55:07 - 00:29:16:04
Speaker 2
I started to say I'm put in flight mode at a certain time in my day. I started putting my phone in flight mode because it was happening with that. What I found was just not able to shut my brain off and I would get to a certain hour and if I'd be reading text or emails that weren't necessarily encouraging, that would fester and then sleep would I'd like and sleep.

00:29:16:04 - 00:29:33:08
Speaker 2
I just think about it and the next morning would just, you know, with my arm and PM routines, we're not good. So now putting it to flight mode by a certain time and in my head now is if it's not important, somebody will get a hold of me in some other shape or form and it hasn't happened. Knock on what hasn't happened yet.

00:29:33:08 - 00:29:52:02
Speaker 2
So then my time is my family time. It's my me time. But it's taken me it took me a long time. So that was you the business owners or coaches who are you know, your athletes have access to you. 24, seven, you know, in a sense good for you. But at the sense if you can't take care of yourself you can't take care of anybody else, you literally have to be number one.

00:29:52:13 - 00:30:00:21
Speaker 2
That sounds selfish, but you have to be number one in that list because if you can't have it together, you can't be there for other people. It's just not the way it works necessarily.

00:30:01:05 - 00:30:39:08
Speaker 1
But good for you because a lot of that takes experience, perspective and discipline. Right. And but forget about motivation. Motivation is is something that can lead you down a false row of false hope because motivation is fleeting. It comes and goes and people are like and when it's not, you don't lack motivation you lack discipline. So when I again in in training when I'm training athletes and talking with parents a lot and I'm dealing with this not dealing with sorry, I shouldn't say dealing.

00:30:39:08 - 00:31:01:17
Speaker 1
I'm working with this young person right now and the parents are like, well, they're not motivated to to come and work out I'm like, well, you need to find a different strength coach then because I don't know. The motivation has nothing to do with it. It's discipline. Discipline will get you to where you need to go. Forget if you rely on motivation, you'll never get off the couch.

00:31:02:00 - 00:31:24:02
Speaker 1
You won't put your phone down and have that family time or that personal time that you need to get better. Like it takes a perspective in a growth. But that's the idea of discipline can take you somewhere like that's your cheat code. And we talk about video game. You're to me, it's discipline. Like you and I use that habit share app a lot.

00:31:24:02 - 00:31:43:10
Speaker 1
And I think that's one of the things that helps keep me on track for a lot of things is that it's a discipline thing and we talk about habits, habits and discipline. They right now the book that I'm actually the actual physical book I'm reading, Make Your Bed by Admiral McRaven. It's amazing. You you and I have seen the speech a million times.

00:31:44:08 - 00:32:09:23
Speaker 1
I'll put a link to this in the show. It to his speech and in his book. But it says The very first chapter is how making your Bed Can Change the world and was really it was just a such amazing idea is it's discipline, not motivation. And it was interesting because he goes on to talk about how oh, I'm not going to get the date right, but I want to say it's 20, 14.

00:32:09:23 - 00:32:35:06
Speaker 1
And they had captured Saddam Hussein and they he was going in to interview him to make sure that he was being well cared for. And he realized that he had it and they gave him a nice bed they give him pretty good said I mean he's like the guy never made his bed. He never made his bed. So where this guy, Admiral McRaven, came in from the idea of discipline, every time you make my bed, it's, it's a success for me every day to make my bed right.

00:32:35:06 - 00:32:52:01
Speaker 1
We tell our kids, our athletes, I always say first thing I do to a kid when I train him to make your bed today, my classes. Did you who made their bed today and you get the kids that are be like yeah. I forget about making my bed like my mom's going to make my bed. Forget that. But no, you make your own bed.

00:32:52:19 - 00:33:03:11
Speaker 1
You have to have that success. Your mom's not going to be there for you when you're 30. And if she is, you're still in your parent's place at 30. No, no, no offense if you are, but make your own bed.

00:33:04:20 - 00:33:25:11
Speaker 2
So you make me think when he talked about he noticed I never made this bed. So I'm starting to think you can get away with things for a certain amount of time. But your habits will come back. Right? And remember, we talked about this. You'll never rise to the occasion. You'll sink to the level of your training or habits like we can even use that so it's just a matter of time before you got caught.

00:33:25:19 - 00:33:49:07
Speaker 2
It was just a matter of time before you got caught. Why? Because you didn't make your bed, your habits. And that's the way when you said, as was do to make a habit, it was just a matter of time. You can learn high for so long. We don't make your bed because you're not living in comfort. I'm going to go off on this one because you're living on the run probably the whole time and you didn't have any consistency in your brain was 100 different places because you're running in high.

00:33:49:08 - 00:34:10:08
Speaker 2
When you're doing things wrong, you're just putting like duct tape everywhere, basically. And that's just a matter of time before that peels off. You're just patch job, patch job, patch job. But if you can literally have the right habits now you're setting like cement and now you can weather the storm if you put things in a place. Hence making your bed meant, yeah, that was good.

00:34:10:13 - 00:34:38:10
Speaker 2
And the one I'm into right now the physical besides this audible onboard Automobile University, my right now is the How to Train Your Brain Like an Olympian by Jonathan I swim Menard who's based out of Montreal area Canadian author so jump on that stuff they just wrote about him and Andre Lucas who's now a mentor performance coach for City and they wrote a book about team chemistry which I preordered should be out soon so we'll dove into that one.

00:34:38:24 - 00:34:45:09
Speaker 2
But again it comes back to habits, habits, habits, habits and you can have segway that any better.

00:34:45:11 - 00:35:06:16
Speaker 1
Oh, well, and here's the other thing that I want to talk about is I want to give people examples of what it is like we're talking about some unique things in our lives, but I want to give people examples of what how a fixed mindset can limit your success. So one constructive criticism you're going to see that is a personal attack, right?

00:35:06:17 - 00:35:16:17
Speaker 1
How many times have you talked to somebody you're trying to give them feedback? And this is like when the back gets up and is just like it's an attack. It's not an attack trying to help you get better. And now it's like, wow.

00:35:17:04 - 00:35:17:24
Speaker 2
That's perspective.

00:35:18:11 - 00:35:45:12
Speaker 1
It's perspective, right? It is. And always goes back to perspective and be like disciplined, like, okay, this person and I've always said this to my kids when they're talking with with about teachers or coaches don't listen to the noise, listen to the message. So my, my youngest daughter or both both of my kids had yell as coaches they screamers, they were they would just scream at you.

00:35:45:23 - 00:36:14:18
Speaker 1
And I said, through all that noise and screaming, there is an underlying message that could be relevant. So you have to train yourself to filter out the noise and get the message because some people just see the screaming and yelling and then they get all emotional and you're blocked off. Whereas if you can filter that out, you can you can grow you can actually grow because you're going to get yelled at at some point in your life.

00:36:15:01 - 00:36:16:01
Speaker 1
Right? I have.

00:36:16:16 - 00:36:17:07
Speaker 2
Roger that.

00:36:18:05 - 00:36:50:14
Speaker 1
So don't look at criticism as an attack. You give up when you're frustrated and don't have the tools or the equipment necessary or the capacity to get through that idea of that block. Right. So don't take your toys with you and leave because these things aren't going your way. So if the idea that I don't need to learn anymore, that to me is the biggest thing is we have a we're doing sessions right now.

00:36:50:14 - 00:37:12:18
Speaker 1
We're doing online coaching, coaching sessions right now. And we have a coach on there who's 74 years old he's 74. And he met you. He messaged me the other night and he's like, that was great session coach. Thank you. Keep learning different things. I'm like, Dude, I should be learning from you. Yeah, you've been teaching or coaching more than I've been alive.

00:37:12:24 - 00:37:23:00
Speaker 1
He's 74. He's still coaching in the community, man, crushing it every day. So like love at any end of total growth mindset.

00:37:24:00 - 00:37:35:12
Speaker 2
What was it that was the title of that one again, as soon as you threw that gentleman, that was just like a punch in the face, I was like, Wow, that's I don't forgot where I was going with my thought. What was the caption of your thought? Right now for this one.

00:37:36:18 - 00:37:37:22
Speaker 1
You don't need to learn anymore.

00:37:39:17 - 00:37:50:15
Speaker 2
You stop. Yeah. Things that don't grow, die. I repeat that. Things that don't grow, die. And thank God for us our noses in our ears never stopped growing. So we're good to go.

00:37:51:24 - 00:38:09:03
Speaker 1
Yeah, because our hair stopped growing. Other people that say and I get frustrated with this one too, it is what it is. No, it isn't. It isn't. It doesn't have to be. Well, it is what that means. You're just going to accept your growing and say you either have two options. You're growing up or you're growing you. Well, that's exactly.

00:38:09:03 - 00:38:23:12
Speaker 1
You're either growing up or you're growing down, right? And so like you say, if you're if you're not growing, you're, you're dying. So I use that a lot with people that just don't get it. Like, are you growing up? Are you growing down? You can't get stuck. You're not stuck in neutral. You're going in one direction or the other.

00:38:24:05 - 00:38:46:11
Speaker 1
And then the last one on this list, someone says jealousy or jealousy of the success or attention that other people are getting. Right. And that's to me, it's like, why good for you? You want to do it? Amazing. Get give it. Like, if you can make it, you make it. You won't put the effort in. That's amazing. I'll be super happy for you.

00:38:46:18 - 00:39:03:16
Speaker 2
But that's the analogy I gave with with Tony Robbins. When we talk about the buildings. Tony Robbins, like you, two ways of having the tallest building in your community city. Either knock the other buildings down, which is what you're talking about right now so you can knock other people down and go, Oh, he doesn't do this or she doesn't do this, right?

00:39:03:16 - 00:39:23:15
Speaker 2
Or whatever, or you just keep adding floors to your own building, just literally keep adding floors and let's let's keep adding URLs, you know, happy for other people. Success is good on them because they've grinded out and done things for themselves, good for them. But keep working on yourself. Just literally keep working on yourself.

00:39:23:24 - 00:39:47:15
Speaker 1
Somebody asked me the other day, they're like, Dude, what are you why are you doing this? Why are you like podcasts? Why are you doing this writing? Why? Why are you doing all this stuff? It's like, well, like, I'm not dead yet. Like, Michael is this like, I want to be? And my personal goal is I want to be the best father, husband, friend, coach, teacher that I can be.

00:39:48:01 - 00:40:08:12
Speaker 1
I want to stay outside my comfort zone and continue to grow and just sitting on my butt and, you know, watching TV is not part of what I want to be doing. So what's next is like it's gross. I want to continue to add. I want to make the experiences of of for my students and my athletes to be better.

00:40:08:24 - 00:40:36:17
Speaker 1
I want my the people that I'm training to have more knowledge. Like, Yeah, let's go like there's got to be something there that's going to help you grow as a human being. It has to be in your plans. If it's not in your plans, you're obviously not listening to this this show that if you want to just stick in the mud and stick in the mud, but don't ever criticize other people for not being stuck in the mud.

00:40:37:07 - 00:41:03:03
Speaker 2
Yeah, I'm making sure I share something with you when we're done. Our call today, make sure today at some point I share this with you. But Marcus, Luttrell, I got to listen to Marcus Luttrell and Marcus Luttrell is from Lone Survivor, the movie that Mark Wahlberg, he plays Marcus Luttrell. You haven't seen it get on it. But Marcus tells kind of the true not the Hollywood version of what happened when he went through that.

00:41:04:02 - 00:41:06:11
Speaker 2
And you talked about I'm not dead.

00:41:06:11 - 00:41:07:04
Speaker 1
Yet and.

00:41:07:04 - 00:41:23:00
Speaker 2
What Marcus did when the bones are broken, been shot. I don't know how many times that whole process and this one really really two things that everything sticks in my mind from his conversation with the University of Arizona football team. But two of them one was him and his brother had a terminal. This is not the story I'm trying to tell.

00:41:23:00 - 00:41:29:06
Speaker 2
But one of them that sticks in my head is he always said, if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

00:41:29:10 - 00:41:30:08
Speaker 1
I was like, wow.

00:41:31:04 - 00:41:44:23
Speaker 2
Let that sink in. If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space. That was one of the story you talked about, like, I'm not dead, so why not? So when he was all shot up and go through, he was going through a not knowing at the time, he was the only person left the lone survivor.

00:41:45:20 - 00:41:48:20
Speaker 2
He said he would manage fires in the upper end cities. So I guess they.

00:41:49:06 - 00:41:49:11
Speaker 1
Yeah.

00:41:49:12 - 00:41:50:07
Speaker 2
My, my, my green.

00:41:50:07 - 00:41:50:18
Speaker 1
Speech.

00:41:51:06 - 00:42:11:05
Speaker 2
He he grabs the button of his gun because he can barely walk now. He can't even walk. He draw a line in the sand and he'd crawl. And he said to himself, if my feet get to that line, I'm still alive. I'm going to keep going. And he drawn a line. I think he did that for over ten miles.

00:42:11:13 - 00:42:12:00
Speaker 1
Wow.

00:42:12:23 - 00:42:23:03
Speaker 2
Draw line in the sand. If your feet hit the line, you're still alive. Draw another line. Come on, man.

00:42:24:08 - 00:42:47:10
Speaker 1
It's so unbelievable. The mindset are we not does not make you feel like you've just been so sheltered. You're in tough right. And I look like it was raining yesterday, right? I looked outside and I was like, I know for, like, you know, like did some exercise inside like, I usually try to rip off a walk every day as like, oh, it's raining.

00:42:47:10 - 00:43:05:21
Speaker 1
And I'm just like, nope, got to go. Got to do this. It's on the list. It's on my habit. Shares got to do it. But like, you know, here's this guide, crawling for ten miles after being shot, and I'm like, it's raining a little bit. I'm not sure if I'm going to make the walk outside, like, check myself right there's just good reminders of check yourself.

00:43:06:03 - 00:43:12:21
Speaker 2
Good for you, man, for going in that because that's that's such a metaphor for life where, you know, you could you could have also adapted.

00:43:13:05 - 00:43:13:22
Speaker 1
Got an umbrella.

00:43:13:22 - 00:43:33:22
Speaker 2
On or I don't know, you don't have to put an umbrella. You can just weather the storm, don't get me wrong. But that's where people kind of take their foot off the gas that we talked about earlier. Like obviously you looked at that as a challenge and you had a plan how you were going to deal with it and no one would have second guess like, oh, it's raining market go today.

00:43:33:22 - 00:43:54:08
Speaker 2
It was rainy today was where do you get his hair wet or whatever the case may be. Right. So but you weathered the storm and look at where we're talking today. You weathered the storm. So as much as we might think, though, there are irrelevant things, it's excellence in small things. We excellence in all things and you could argue for for doing that hopefully don't catch a cold or anything.

00:43:54:08 - 00:44:11:12
Speaker 1
But I know, I know. But you know, I hear you want to let's take that a step further. I'm about halfway through the walk and the rain clears up ends up being a beautiful day. Like it was like, wow, I'm glad I came out because I otherwise I probably would have missed this.

00:44:11:12 - 00:44:15:21
Speaker 2
Because say it again here. Say it again because this is a perfect for on the other side of what is what.

00:44:16:08 - 00:44:22:02
Speaker 1
On the other side of hell. You're going to find growth and expansion, right?

00:44:22:04 - 00:44:25:22
Speaker 2
You wouldn't have seen a beautiful day happen if you wouldn't have walked into the store.

00:44:26:00 - 00:44:26:21
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.

00:44:26:21 - 00:44:32:18
Speaker 2
That's literally how it works. Like if you take that metaphor, how you guys want to but literally if Mark, when it did that, he wouldn't have got to see.

00:44:33:01 - 00:44:33:05
Speaker 1
The.

00:44:33:10 - 00:44:39:06
Speaker 2
Clouds clearing. He would have just been at his house and like, oh, I guess it's better out today. Now I can go out, see how it works.

00:44:39:09 - 00:44:57:14
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. That was my biggest thing that I try to live in. You know, I put this on as much stuff as we can is a much better today than I was yesterday. And am I going to be better tomorrow than I am today? And I'm already planning on how is it that I'm going to be better tomorrow, right?

00:44:57:15 - 00:45:16:22
Speaker 1
It could be my tomorrow night. I'm going to have to sleep better. I didn't have a good sleep tonight, so it's going to help me be better for tomorrow. Did I read something? Exercise, you name it. Make your own list. What is it that's going to make you better the next day? Better? Some people simplify it. They just say better every day.

00:45:17:07 - 00:45:33:17
Speaker 1
I don't think that's enough I have to be very specific for me because I've seen it out there better. Every day is great. It's a great tag. It's awesome. But I would say, am I better today than I was yesterday? Which means am I learning from my mistakes yesterday? Am I going to be better tomorrow than I am today?

00:45:34:03 - 00:45:55:02
Speaker 1
And what am I doing to get there? And I think that's the biggest question we have to ask each other and ourselves. And we do, because you're my accountability partner. So I do like what is I don't know, like the reading, the exercise, the nutrition. These are all parts of self-care. That allow us to be out there being fathers and husbands and teachers and coaches and business owners.

00:45:55:13 - 00:45:59:22
Speaker 1
That self-care allows us to be the best versions of those things. Right? Yeah.

00:46:00:15 - 00:46:11:09
Speaker 2
That's smart. But back to the smart. We teach this to our kids all the time is smart enough. Is that right? Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic. And then time. How which can take you? So back to your specific, like you said, you need to be specific.

00:46:11:18 - 00:46:40:22
Speaker 1
So yeah, yeah. And yeah. And even if it's general, like head in the right direction. Yeah, right. How do you stop? So we give you the idea of like examples of, of, of average mindset or fixed mindset, but how do you stop it? So I made a list of a couple of things that you can do to stop or check your mindset and launch yourself into the idea of a mindset of excellence growth.

00:46:41:05 - 00:47:17:07
Speaker 1
Yeah, let's use the word elite for this one. So no one I had was avoid BCD behavior, blame, complain, defend, because if you are that to me that's the very, very first thing. It's easy for me to blame other people. I could have blamed the rain for stopping me from walking. The rain wasn't stopping me from walking. It was me that was stopping me from walking if I want to blame a coach because I'm not getting playing time, I'm going to have a fixed mindset because I'm blaming somebody else for my current situation.

00:47:17:24 - 00:47:37:10
Speaker 1
Okay? Complaining about a situation isn't going to make it any better. It might make you feel better for a moment, but in the long run, it's not going to be doing you any good and defending yourself again. You're not going to be open to criticism or you're not going to be. And that use the term criticism or what do you call feedback?

00:47:38:00 - 00:48:03:12
Speaker 1
Forget it. So avoid blame, complain, defend at all costs. Parents it's try out season, avoid blame, complain defend. Is your kid ready for tryouts or is your kid been sitting on their butt eating s'mores all year long and not training, not getting ready, not being properly prepared. Don't blame the coaches. Coach didn't like my kid because whatever and or what you know.

00:48:03:16 - 00:48:27:12
Speaker 1
Forget it. Are you ready? Are you ready. Aim for self-awareness if you want to. Again, self-aware people tend to not if you're listening to the show. You tend to be self-aware. And you're probably already in the idea of you're trying to get better. You're in an elite mindset. Avoid negative self-talk. That's the biggest thing. Like, I'm not good enough.

00:48:27:12 - 00:48:45:00
Speaker 1
I'm not sure it's not good, maybe not ready. You may not be ready yet, but avoid and we'll talk a little bit more about this a little bit more later. But that fixed mindset, self-talk of being uncertain, the confidence as a feeling, not an action.

00:48:45:23 - 00:48:52:23
Speaker 2
I feel sorry before you go to that concert and that comes back to stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself. Go ahead. Sorry.

00:48:53:07 - 00:49:12:10
Speaker 1
That's a big difference, right? That's a big difference. And the other one is to like ask for feedback, asked for feedback. Right. People look at that is a sign of weakness. I don't see that as a sign of weakness at all. I see that as a sign of wanting to grow. It doesn't mean I'm going to take it like you don't.

00:49:12:10 - 00:49:29:17
Speaker 1
I say listen to the feedback is really listen to what they're saying. And it's like I say like people say, I love your show. So first thing I ask them, it's like, well, I appreciate it, but like, what's your favorite episode? And what episodes you're like wasn't very good because I want to keep getting better. I want our show to keep getting better.

00:49:29:17 - 00:49:46:23
Speaker 1
So when people say, Oh man, keep doing. You guys are doing a great job to me, that's very general, but I'll ask them specifically, Hey, which episode of you like the most? Or, you know? And then they start sharing their idea. And I ran into somebody other day. I was like, What's been our worst episode yet? And there's funny they're thought about.

00:49:46:23 - 00:49:54:16
Speaker 1
They're like, Oh, you had one episode where, you know, your audio was weird or whatever. I was like, Oh, yeah, that was episode, blah, blah, blah. So it's like, I.

00:49:54:17 - 00:50:09:01
Speaker 2
Remember that's how we started. We actually asked people for feedback, and we just kind of started the ball rolling, like, let's have a few people listen to it. And that was, you know, sound was this, this. And that's how we got better. I'm not saying we're on the top of the metal right now. Not probably far from it.

00:50:09:01 - 00:50:09:16
Speaker 2
However.

00:50:10:14 - 00:50:38:19
Speaker 1
Progress. We got punched in the face a couple of times, which was good. Which was good, good, good, good. And then the idea is don't overreact to failure. Keep it in perspective and won't remember. We we embrace failure here. The failure is fertilizer for your future, right? And when you used to suck and the other thing is and I'll well, second last thing on this is never compare yourself to other people.

00:50:39:17 - 00:51:02:04
Speaker 1
You can only compare yourself to the best version of yourself. Right. And ask yourself, how good can I actually get? Ask yourself that. And if you can ask yourself that and lay out that plan, you're going to be an amazing situation. And then finally celebrate the process over the outcome.

00:51:04:07 - 00:51:25:07
Speaker 2
What's the best? I'm just when you went back to the previous plan, it was like, think about the best version of yourself. Looks like and what do you do to attain that? What's the best version of yourself in five, ten, 15, 50 years? Whatever. What's the best version of yourself? Look, like? And then you'll find something. You're like, Yeah, I'd be doing this.

00:51:25:16 - 00:51:42:19
Speaker 2
And then if I pushed you a little bit more, expand a little bit more, what would that look like? You know, because it's like we always can find another ceiling, another ceiling and then a ceiling, but you need the right accountability, partner. You have to have the growth mindset to achieve those things because we seem to put ourselves in a little bit of box.

00:51:42:19 - 00:51:44:21
Speaker 2
This is all I can achieve. This is all I can do, and.

00:51:45:11 - 00:51:46:00
Speaker 1
You're.

00:51:46:00 - 00:51:51:24
Speaker 2
Capable. We're put on this earth to do amazing, amazing things. We're the ones who kind of put the handcuffs on ourselves.

00:51:52:07 - 00:52:17:13
Speaker 1
Are unstick yourself. And I think one of the things is, and I say this to a lot of people, and especially when I'm training and teaching them, eliminate the mental limitations you put on your own physical performance. So that means you like the idea of like, if I'm not going to do well on this test while you're just you just handcuffed yourself, right?

00:52:18:00 - 00:52:41:12
Speaker 1
Eliminate the mental limitations focus on what you can control. Control the controllable. Right. And then just you control your own actions. These are all things that you have control of and I think that's where we can really make that jump from in the average mindset to that of excellence and growth in and just crushing it and kicking butt to get after it.

00:52:41:12 - 00:53:19:07
Speaker 1
Right. Roger that. So for for today, what we want. You got homework? What Yes, sir. We have homework for today. And what we want you to do and this is a really, really simple task. You need to create a mindset list. And if you really have to be self reflective and self honest on this, your mindset list is going to have three columns one column is start, one column is stop, and the third column is continue in each of those columns.

00:53:19:14 - 00:53:36:09
Speaker 1
You're going to list three to five things that you want to do in those categories. I repeat it start, stop, continue three to five things that you want to do that are going to take you from an average mindset to an elite mindset. Simple.

00:53:37:12 - 00:53:51:20
Speaker 2
So those are just listen to us. You won't be able to see this. But those you're watching us on YouTube. March started. This thing was the first thing. And I saw his hand go here and then I saw his second hand go here. I'm like, How the heck is he going to fit the last one in there? His hands are going to be out of the screen.

00:53:52:10 - 00:54:06:10
Speaker 2
So you're going to start. Let me try this again. You're going to start you're going to stop and then you're going to continue to look at I fitted into this nicely. I rolled my mind went and I was going I'm like, I wish I could rewind that.

00:54:06:18 - 00:54:06:24
Speaker 1
I was.

00:54:06:24 - 00:54:08:15
Speaker 2
Going to fit that there was a more in there.

00:54:08:15 - 00:54:14:05
Speaker 1
It was it was almost immediately organized on that man. Oh, that's awesome.

00:54:14:14 - 00:54:16:14
Speaker 2
Oh, God, I have problems.

00:54:18:12 - 00:54:20:04
Speaker 1
That's all good. That's why we love you, man.

00:54:20:04 - 00:54:20:20
Speaker 2
That's amazing.

00:54:20:21 - 00:54:38:11
Speaker 1
I like Coach La Rock. I love it. 2.0. That's it. Yeah, that's what we're doing. We're to try and remember, this is the and we're going to leave you with this thought is you can look at your version of yourself 1.0, two point or three point. Oh, and depending on how old you are, are you like our like our coach?

00:54:38:11 - 00:54:57:23
Speaker 1
That was in the seventies. He's probably awesome. 57 point ole. Awesome. Continue to grow and get after it. Like, just crush life, man. Let's do this. Yeah, yeah. Well, that does it for this episode of Benchmark. Thanks for listening. Until next time.

00:54:58:20 - 00:54:59:21
Speaker 2
Keep crushing it.