Habits - You Are Your Habits And Your Habits Are You. Are Your Habits Restricting Your Success? Artwork

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Welcome to Benchmarked with Marc Messier and J-G Larocque. We are all in on Leadership, Coaching, Mental Performance, and overall support of those seeking to be the greatest version of themselves. It's all about leading the players and coaching the coaches. We will venture through our 9 Elements of Successful Leadership and bring you interviews with powerful leaders and influential athletes, as well as interesting stories from our time on the bench and in the classroom. Being a good leader requires a continued evolution and growth. This show strives to provide you with the tools necessary to grow and become the best possible leader and have the greatest possible impact on those you lead. Are you ready to level up your leadership and coaching game?

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Habits - You Are Your Habits And Your Habits Are You. Are Your Habits Restricting Your Success?

May 31, 2022 • Messier Larocque Performance Group • Season 1 • Episode 22

In this episode we discuss the formation of habits, the replacement of bad habits and how to develop championship habits to change your life.

What we discuss:

-Habits are small decisions you make and decisions you perform each day
We are the sum of all our habits…eat too much, drink too much…don’t read enough…
-They totally have an impact on our successes and failures in all aspects of our lives
-Habits can even come in the form of thoughts (negative or positive)
-This is where a good accountability partner can come into play. Or you need to really become self-honest and reflective and ask yourself important questions like
-Transforming your habits will transform your life
-Don’t aim to “Break” a habit. Aim to “replace” a habit.
-Take control of your environment.
-When things aren’t going well or things are tough…The answer isn’t always MORE or HARDER, it’s in the process. It’s in your habits.
-According to Duke U. habits account for 40% of our behaviors on any given day.
-De-Clutter your mind.
-Unshackle yourself from bad habits and negative thoughts.
-Discipline = Freedom
-The recipe to success isn’t motivation; it’s discipline. Stop searching for motivation and start cultivating discipline, motivation is fleeting & unreliable, discipline is to get what’s best for you done even when you don’t feel like it.
-Get your house in order - organize your life…Checklist manifesto
-Get your finances in order
-Take care of your body
-Take care of you mind
-Spend time with people that matter
-Instead of goals or resolutions try themes
-Be proud of the little things you do (showing up early, being respectful to service people)
-Make yourself worthy of winning by developing winning habits and a winning mindset. Wake up awesome, go to be tired.
-Set your own habit benchmark
-AM and PM Habits
-Habit Share app
-Pre and Post Competition/Practice Habits
-The 3 Steps in the Habit Loop

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00:00:00:01 - 00:00:21:10
Speaker 1
Hey team. Welcome to Benchmarked the Leadership Coaching and Mental Performance Podcast with Coach Mess and Coach Larocque. Thanks for joining us today. Today's show is all about our habits. And when I woke up this morning and thinking about doing the show, I was a little nervous because I was like, Oh my God, I don't have to talk about all the bad habits that I have.

00:00:22:01 - 00:00:31:16
Speaker 1
But and it's different habits. Some people might think, Oh, that's not a bad habit or whatever, but I might have to divulge how much black coffee I drink every day.

00:00:32:18 - 00:00:36:08
Speaker 2
I have a sweet tooth. Is that bad? Is that a bad habit? Sweet tooth?

00:00:37:01 - 00:00:48:17
Speaker 1
Well, it depends on how it is. Like, if you're drinking, if you're eating like, you know, Â£6 of brownies every day, that might be a little bit excessive, but it's I think that runs on the family, too, doesn't it?

00:00:49:01 - 00:01:07:01
Speaker 2
Well, it's got to be with all those the things we even say. It's a messy thing in the family. We have one of our sons who loves like he'll just concoction whatever with whatever type of sweets. And that was my grandfather. It was like that, like 100%. And that's we keep saying that he has the gene.

00:01:07:05 - 00:01:31:02
Speaker 1
They ran a sugar shack as a family like. All right. So they they definitely have a sweet tooth in our and our genes. But for me, it's it's coffee. I have a I have a weakness for good coffee now. It's black coffee. And it's funny because if you have a bad habit, sometimes you defend it. Like, I feel like I have to defend myself as a coffee drinker in my family.

00:01:31:02 - 00:01:39:02
Speaker 1
Like, you drink too much coffee. Well, two to three cups a day. Science has proven that's actually good for you.

00:01:39:07 - 00:01:39:20
Speaker 2
Keep going.

00:01:40:02 - 00:01:53:14
Speaker 1
There's lots of antioxidants, fights, diseases like diabetes, Parkinson's. It's amazing. It's just such an amazing liquid. Love my coffee.

00:01:53:20 - 00:02:09:11
Speaker 2
What I've learned through all of these types of things is moderation is the key. That's literally it's about all of this type of stuff. If it's coffee, if it's whatever it is, is moderation is the key. That's right. Right or wrong? That's a bad word.

00:02:09:17 - 00:02:34:19
Speaker 1
Yeah, well. Well, basically, if you have bad habits, the reason why we're doing this show is bad habits or lack of good habits will really prevent you from achieving peak performance. And even though we focus on leadership coaching, and mental performance, the whole idea is of if you have bad habits, you will not achieve your best self in any of those areas.

00:02:35:06 - 00:02:56:18
Speaker 1
Right. So what is a habit? So we looked up the definition of a habit. Is there small decisions that you make and decisions and actions that you perform each day? Duke University says that our habits account for about 40% of our behaviors every single day. That's a lot. That is a lot Right.

00:02:57:05 - 00:03:10:21
Speaker 2
So according to Duke, habits account for 40% of our behavior each day. Wow. Yeah, I'm just repeating it because I'm trying to let it sink in. Well, we're a product of our habits, necessarily, in a sense. Yeah.

00:03:11:07 - 00:03:38:14
Speaker 1
Yeah. And I think, you know, when you think about people that, you know, that are successful and we're going to get to a list eventually of like, what, what are good habits that you should have in your life every day that make you successful. But it doesn't necessarily have to be monetarily successful, but it could be healthy. And I think what it is, is people need to understand that you can coach yourself to transform your habits to become better and get yourself.

00:03:38:14 - 00:03:44:12
Speaker 1
And I know I'm going to get fired up about this because I know, I know. I know.

00:03:44:13 - 00:03:47:24
Speaker 2
Even if you don't wear your red shirt to go on fire.

00:03:48:11 - 00:04:06:14
Speaker 1
Well, I want people to understand, like, we are the sum of all of our habits. You eat too much. You drink too much. You don't read enough. You don't sleep well, you don't exercise. All those things add up. You have poor financial discipline. Like these are all different things that you know, you have 16 credit cards that you don't pay.

00:04:06:22 - 00:04:29:22
Speaker 1
You have you have no idea where your money's going. You like these are all things that are bad habits that can shackle you to a minimum standard of performance. Right. And then our friend Zach Sorenson in his book The Hard 90, he says, when things aren't going well or I'm not doing well or things are tough, the answer isn't doing more of what doesn't work.

00:04:30:01 - 00:04:46:13
Speaker 1
Right. It's a process that you have to have and undertake it's all in your habits, right? So working harder is not necessarily going to get you anywhere if you're still performing the bad habits. We always say doing more of what doesn't work isn't going to make it work any better.

00:04:47:04 - 00:05:07:00
Speaker 2
But I read that when I think back at Signal Heights, where that would be when I saw the signal lights. But the three types of people primal prayer and perfect, and this would be a primal example, right? When things are going well or they're tough, the answer is always more harder. Those are those primal people just kind of go crazy not going well.

00:05:07:00 - 00:05:27:00
Speaker 2
So they want to go to this one where if if things are going well, let's say, you know, you're you're gaining some weight, you're not happy with yourself. And then the you know, the the option to do if you're not happy with that, actually acquiesce and have at it if you're not to do something, you just like you can't get engaged.

00:05:27:00 - 00:05:43:14
Speaker 2
So then you go primal what you really are. Then you just grab a tub of lightning, you have it, then you go get a bag of chips and you hammer that so it's like you want to you want to bring yourself to that the basement, I would call it to the bottom. And sometimes, honestly, you need to reach the bottom to be able to because there's no way you can go any further down.

00:05:43:23 - 00:05:54:23
Speaker 2
So the only way is up to sometimes people do that. They literally get themselves to the basement and they have no choice but to come up. So if we can grab you before you get to the basement, maybe the hump a little bit more.

00:05:55:10 - 00:06:17:22
Speaker 1
Absolutely. And I want to also add to this that habits aren't necessarily just actions, but they're also thoughts because remember, in their definitions, they their decision. So having negative thoughts can be a bad habit. And some people fall into that loop it's a loop, right? And it's a trap where you're like, oh, I'm not very good. I don't look good.

00:06:17:22 - 00:06:36:17
Speaker 1
I'm not fit, I'm not strong enough. I don't want to go to the gym. These are all negative. You have to get out of that. And one of the things that we're going to talk about in the show is not necessarily you can't you have to replace a habit. You can't you don't necessarily cancel one. You have to replace it.

00:06:36:24 - 00:07:00:15
Speaker 1
So we say you don't break a habit, you have to replace it. So, for example, drinking instead. If you drink too much alcohol, because we know alcohol is it leads to especially the older you get, it leads to a lot of like bodily performance negatives. So replace drinking alcohol with maybe drinking tea or I'll here's a little shoutout to the tea drinkers out there.

00:07:01:04 - 00:07:11:16
Speaker 1
Instead of having that beer have a tea. Right. So these are all things that you have to replace. You want to have your bag of chips go for a small walk. So replace a bad habit with a good habit.

00:07:13:07 - 00:07:30:15
Speaker 2
I like that. I never thought about it that way till you mentioned we talked about it before. But I really like the replacing and we can see how we would could be maybe difficult the beginning, but it's not supposed to be easy if you're if you're trying to replace a habit, it's not supposed to be easy. It's going to take a process.

00:07:30:15 - 00:07:39:20
Speaker 2
And I talked to a student yesterday. He was asking me what mileage I was running in the light of random measly mileage I'm running and off. He knows about our routine. We just started doing God just.

00:07:40:02 - 00:08:00:10
Speaker 1
For you guys to know we are with along with three other friends of ours. We are on a 50 mile a month program, so we're all trying to bang out 50 miles a month and each month actually sorry is going to increase. So next month is 60 and the month after that is 70. So who's in the lead right now?

00:08:02:01 - 00:08:08:10
Speaker 2
And as of last night, I Messiah. Yes, sir.

00:08:09:02 - 00:08:15:08
Speaker 1
Boy Yeah. Here we go. So we're, we're, we're banging out some mileage anyway. Sorry, I didn't mean I totally derailed your.

00:08:15:10 - 00:08:41:11
Speaker 2
No, no, that's good. That's exactly it. Right. There is to create other habits because now I want, like, it's the competitiveness in me. And when I hit my mileage last night, put in two miles yesterday, I'm looking dressed in everyone's outfit, and I couldn't. I look. But that's your accountability partners. That's the whole competitiveness. It's replacing old habits that I probably already had before, which is, you know, watching something on Netflix.

00:08:41:24 - 00:09:00:08
Speaker 2
Like, it's not that's not helping me achieve to what I want to be able to achieve. So I can only speak for myself that I got into that role. But that's why I always say success is getting up more time than you fall. Like, we are going to fall. You're going to fall through this process, what it's like, how long you're going to feel sorry for yourself, how long you sit on that couch that kind of determines.

00:09:01:03 - 00:09:28:10
Speaker 1
And the accountability. You know, it's you just said at the accountable partner is huge. And we've we've already done a show on accountability and having a partner. And if you don't have a good accountability partner, that becomes the accountability mirror where you're listing these things down. Like don't sit down on the couch and watch Netflix go for and get a couple of miles in or bang out some pushups or hold a plank do something that is going to make you better.

00:09:28:10 - 00:09:52:13
Speaker 1
So let's talk statistics. If 40% of our day is habits and we're trying to get 1% better each day, well, that's a lot to overcome mathematically. If you if 40% of your bad your habits are you know out of those if ten, 15, 20% of them are bad you're going to really be fighting that 1% better every day.

00:09:53:00 - 00:10:14:07
Speaker 1
Right. And that's and I think that's something that people have to realize is these things can have a huge impact on your successes and your failures in all aspects of your life. They'll make you more success. Good habits make you more successful. Bad habits make you less successful. You will not reach your personal peak.

00:10:14:15 - 00:10:27:07
Speaker 2
But we say to the people, because I've had those conversations like, what do you say to people? Well, then, you know, I feel like I'm a robot and they're just following your routine. I can't just go with the flow of the day like everything is so planned. What do we have for those people?

00:10:28:07 - 00:10:55:06
Speaker 1
You got to unshackle yourself and take control of your environment. I think this is what people don't realize sometimes we are we lose control of our environment. We let other people hang on. Let me back up a second. Shocker. Shocker. Right. Your habits are controllable. I don't know if we've done a show about anything that is not controllable, but might be something down the road.

00:10:55:06 - 00:11:20:01
Speaker 1
But like, we've everything we've talked about so far in our nine elements of successful leadership, every person that we've interviewed on the show talked about characteristics of successful people, that what made them successful is they've taken control of their environment. Your habits are totally controllable now. Nobody's perfect. What what's the what's your line about being perfect?

00:11:20:09 - 00:11:22:07
Speaker 2
It's not about being perfect. It's about being present.

00:11:22:14 - 00:11:56:01
Speaker 1
That's right. And progress is the standard right. So if you think about it, you are you progressing? And for us, that target is shout out to Zach Sorenson is that that 1% better every single day it doesn't take much 14 minutes and 24 seconds to get better each day but then if all of a sudden now you're knocking down bad habits you're you're going to get a lot better more than 1% better every single day transforming your habits will literally transform them your life.

00:11:56:24 - 00:12:25:22
Speaker 1
But before we get too deep into this show, you have to understand it's going to require a lot of self honesty and self-reflection. Where you like me, my bag of Doritos daily isn't that bad. Right now. You got two young boys, you got twin boys, healthy, happy, strong, good looking and add thanks to their mother. They're good looking.

00:12:28:13 - 00:12:38:22
Speaker 1
They have. I'm assuming the fact that you and Nicole are both physical educators, they're probably going to school with a half decent, healthy lunch yeah.

00:12:38:22 - 00:12:57:21
Speaker 2
And no, it's the hard part about that. You're 100% right. But what's hard about that is what's happening around their environment, right? And it's not blame other people, it's not blame shaming complaint type of thing. But they're going to go to school and they're going to see the Twinkies. They're going to see all these other types of elements.

00:12:58:12 - 00:13:20:17
Speaker 2
And trust me, it's not a perfect lunch when they go every single day or even every day. But it's it's a consistent conversation where are your carrots, where you through vegetables, drink more water than you would it's an evolving saying. It doesn't just naturally happen. And again, I want to talk about that a little bit early. It's a start that stops most people, right?

00:13:20:18 - 00:13:42:22
Speaker 2
Because they're going to want to drink more juice than they do water. So if you can introduce water slowly, I'll just give an example of that. Taking away some of the sweets. He's got the best one of the to get the messy sweets. Right. So the first thing he's going for because it was not so soluble, naturally they throw out around a spaceship.

00:13:43:02 - 00:14:10:20
Speaker 2
We've got a rocket in Washington and stuff, a rocket to space. They use up 80%. I could be a little blown off your 80% of the fuel is like take off in the first portion of the trip 80% all right and the other 20% is like going doing your thing and coming back so it's the start that takes the most energy out of us but if you can get that process going but fall into the good habits but like you said it starts example of the lunch we're talking about good habits.

00:14:11:01 - 00:14:11:12
Speaker 2
Yep.

00:14:11:22 - 00:14:35:21
Speaker 1
And I know for some people it becomes a financial thing. If it's a financial thing, there's other options and that's not something every school district has, like lunch program, breakfast stuff. But you can there's better ways around it and and the reason I bring that up is because I'm working in a high school. I see kids, they go for fast food every day.

00:14:36:09 - 00:15:07:07
Speaker 1
So these kids that they say to me, I'm an elite athlete, coach, what do I need to get bigger, faster, stronger, smarter eating poutine, at lunch three out of five days a week is not going to help you. And venti mocha frappuccino, latte chinos or whatever you're going to get is not a habit of elite mindset people. So this is why this is another reason why I don't love the word elite.

00:15:07:08 - 00:15:25:21
Speaker 1
Do not call yourself elite if you do not have elite habits. I'm sorry. I'm getting a little bit fired up. No, but it brings me up a good story. I have to tell you this story. Speaking of going to Starbucks so as a coach, we we were going on a road trip and I was coaching girls hockey team.

00:15:26:05 - 00:15:47:15
Speaker 1
So first year coaching we were going to a tournament and I think it was about an hour bus ride and through traffic, it was tough. And my bus driver, I always get the same bus driver. His name's Reg, he's amazing. So we load up and the girls are like, Hey, can we stop in and grab a coffee on the way while there's a Starbucks on the way?

00:15:47:15 - 00:16:12:02
Speaker 1
Just before we turn off on the highway? And I was like, Yeah, I haven't had my coffee yet, so I'll go in for my black coffee. So what I didn't realize was that like, you go in a Starbucks with 17 teenage girls, it takes a long time to order. So Reg, who's also a black coffee drinker, he's like, Yes, we are going to be late.

00:16:12:18 - 00:16:32:05
Speaker 1
And so I'm like, I'm looking at what these girls are coming on the bus with and these massive drinks with like foam and stuff sticking out of it and sprinkles. And so we were late. We were late for our first game. So we ended up winning the tournament, but we were late so the tournament organizer wasn't true. And I'm you know, if you're early, you're on time.

00:16:32:05 - 00:16:54:17
Speaker 1
If you're on time, you're late. So we instituted a new rule on our hockey team. It's three words or less for your Starbucks order. If you cannot so fast forward a couple of years, the girls get a handle on this. We go to the same tournament every year and we leave 15 minutes earlier now than usual. So it's like 6:00 in the morning.

00:16:55:08 - 00:17:19:16
Speaker 1
So I get up and I say, girls are rule is if you cannot order in three words or less, you cannot get off the bus. So of course, my, my leaders are trained in this rate. So they got they go. Or if there's the smart ones they preorder to circumvent this message rule. Right? So this is where I felt like an absolute jerk.

00:17:19:21 - 00:17:44:21
Speaker 1
So this one girl who's like the sweetest grade nine girl, and I knew her brother and I knew her family Everybody gets off the bus except for her. And she's sitting there on the bus and I was like, I'm going to use a different naming and say, Page I like Page. What's up? You want something from Starbucks? She's like, Mr. Message, I can't order in less than five words at Starbucks.

00:17:47:03 - 00:18:08:02
Speaker 1
I was like, Come on, let's go. Let's do one. So I broke my own rule. Anyways, so Reg got a laugh that he's like, He called me. He's like, Oh, you are such a muffin. You just totally let that girl truly on you. Like a man, like one kid, whatever it is. So, yeah, but you have to have control of your environment, right?

00:18:08:02 - 00:18:29:23
Speaker 1
And I think this is what we're talking about. And the nutrition part is it's it's a habit. It's a habit reaching for the wrong snacks at night, like, and I know we're going to do a show about like nutrition, nutrition limits, but what you snack on that night is huge. And we know we know here's the thing, the science, we know what's good for our bodies.

00:18:29:23 - 00:18:52:15
Speaker 1
We know what's bad for our bodies. There's no denying what we fuel ourselves with makes a huge difference. And I think this is again, it's a habit. If you can't walk away from the Doritos, go back to what I was saying about the kids going for lunch. Like, don't call yourself an elite athlete if you're not following elite type of protocols for your body.

00:18:53:01 - 00:18:58:04
Speaker 1
And on a daily basis, it's just easy to go get poutine and a bag of chips or whatever.

00:18:58:16 - 00:19:19:17
Speaker 2
You know, who's good at this is like Coke is really got their stuff. Pepsis, really Doritos. Whoever owns all that stuff, like that's the people. And I call them people that you're fighting against. And that's it's it's let's just call it it's a tough battle. It's, you know, it, it is what it is. And if you can get into the right habits, it's not a tough battle, but I'm probably speaking to the majority here where.

00:19:19:17 - 00:19:27:20
Speaker 2
Yeah, it's you know, you're walking like a serial number one. Peyton, Lauren, we're young probably going to that like it was the worst thing ever is buy a cereal aisle.

00:19:28:03 - 00:19:37:11
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. It's like going into a casino for an adult alcoholic right. All the colors. And it's like.

00:19:38:06 - 00:19:58:24
Speaker 2
So like, I know I had my classes right to some of these places. I can't really worry about the information but basically the ones that have the most sugar at its height, like when the kids are walking at their height, they're like primetime because that's the visual, like the colorful boxes and like McDonald's did a great job putting that clown as their their person, like, oh, the cool little poison.

00:19:58:24 - 00:20:05:03
Speaker 2
And when you get in here, like, I just I don't really. And the husband of the Olympics, how is McDonald's.

00:20:05:11 - 00:20:07:08
Speaker 1
And you know, and money just.

00:20:07:08 - 00:20:09:11
Speaker 2
Spent money talks like it's just anyway.

00:20:09:19 - 00:20:14:08
Speaker 1
You don't see broccoli farmers lined up to sponsor the Olympics. Right.

00:20:14:12 - 00:20:25:15
Speaker 2
Well, that's a thing. It's expensive. You talked about the financial part, but it's expensive to eat healthy. Well, it is. Okay. But I like where I'm looking I'm trying to feed a family. I don't know.

00:20:25:15 - 00:20:47:09
Speaker 1
It is. It is not. And that's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking. And this is a whole other conversation. I don't want to get into the politics on our show, but that's the heartbreaking thing, is we make it easy to fall into the bad habits. It's a trap, right? It's easy marketing. It's and it's just like you just get lured into it.

00:20:47:09 - 00:21:14:21
Speaker 1
It's just too easy. Now, this is where we're going to talk about take control of your environment. And I think this is where you have to make tough decisions and you're going to say you're going to you might call bullshit on me, and that's okay because I'm always going to say, Mike, I've I don't necessarily love taking part in like like go out and get sloshed in on like, you know, Tuesday's wing nights.

00:21:15:08 - 00:21:30:19
Speaker 1
Well, I had a friend of mine we play and he was like, I can't lose weight. I'm like, well, why are we going for Wings on Tuesday nights and drinking, you know, six pitchers of beer. So I said, let's we're going to do barbells. So we're going to come and left. And Tuesday nights, we want to hang out.

00:21:30:20 - 00:21:59:24
Speaker 1
It's the beers in the wings are tasty. But if you want to make a difference and you don't understand why you cannot perform better and you're starting to like you're pre-diabetic and you're all this stuff. So the idea of we're not going to meet at a bar any more for whatever we the ideas, our friendship, not necessarily the food and the drink we're going to have we're going to replace that with barbells and we're going to train or we're going to go for a run or we're going to do something that's a little bit healthier coffee instead of beer.

00:22:00:04 - 00:22:29:05
Speaker 1
Hey, let's go for a beer. No, I don't meet people for a beer. I meet people for a coffee because I know it saves me 500 calories. Right? You're going to say, man, this guy is like no fun to be around. But honestly, it's like these are choices that you have to make with people yeah. I'll enjoy a beer every now and then, but it's like it's not a habit that, you know, Tuesday night, swing night, Thursday nights, it adds up over the course of a week.

00:22:29:06 - 00:23:00:19
Speaker 1
If you really sit down and you look at your calendar and I had one of my clients last week showed me what his budget was for the last couple of months for fast food and drinking. And the number just in terms of money and dollars spent. Forget about the calories. It was unreal. But I also calculated, okay, so this is how many drinks he kind of showed me, like how many drinks he had.

00:23:00:19 - 00:23:27:22
Speaker 1
So he laid low. But I said you've consumed 25,000 calories in alcohol. In two weeks, 25,000 calories in alcohol in two weeks. And when you put them in different perspectives, it starts to change your thinking and you're processing. Now, how did we help this person change that habit? Well, okay, so you don't have to completely change your life.

00:23:27:22 - 00:23:51:02
Speaker 1
Especially we have people listen to our show that are probably in sales, so they're always at dinners and they're doing different things in meetings. So the alcohol tends to flow at these rate. So if you're a rum and coke person, you may be changed to like a vodka soda. So you try to like minimize the damage if you can't totally step away from the alcohol or minimize the damage, fewer drinks, whatever.

00:23:51:06 - 00:24:02:18
Speaker 1
Right? Bring it down to whatever you can now or you and I talk about the Habit Share app you want to talk about this because this is how I'm helping him right now because I've included him on our habits, share stuff.

00:24:03:16 - 00:24:27:02
Speaker 2
I'm just in this. That habit share is the app. No cost free app. So we don't make money from this or advertising or anything. Not yet, but jump on there and it just you're giving out your different types of habits. I got my phone here here's the other part two. I hide my phone while we do this. And the research that I saw on that was basically you're 30% less likely to pay attention if you can even see your phone.

00:24:27:17 - 00:24:31:05
Speaker 2
Yeah, interesting. So when we do these, I can't get rid of it. I guess again, yeah.

00:24:31:09 - 00:24:52:16
Speaker 1
I do it right. But what is it that you we share with each other? Yeah, well, let's, let's share with our listeners. So what happens on the Habits Share app is you set up the habits you want to do daily or don't do daily. And what happens is now is my accountability partner. I don't have to like it's just we check in with each other.

00:24:54:07 - 00:25:10:08
Speaker 2
So right now for us, that we share with each other and you can share with this, I don't know as many people as you want, but we have three people sharing with now so make my bed is on my habits share train your brain like an Olympian. This is what I'm reading from Jeff. Awesome. I know the success hotline.

00:25:10:08 - 00:25:45:24
Speaker 2
I'm Dr. Gilbert my daily push ups and then now I'm introduced as of this week the April miles road to 50 so mark and see what I'm doing I can see what he's doing in his habits and he'll share here shortly. But what I like about this example make the bed so my streak is six days in a row and overall 81% so it's telling me all of that in a row what my percentages and we went to Florida so I made my bed in the hotel two days and then I went kibosh on that so that's on me.

00:25:46:14 - 00:26:02:07
Speaker 2
But again what I and this is hard for me I talk to people like it's about being present, not perfect. I like being perfect, trust me. But this keeps me honest. And this reminds me that it's about the process. This reminds me because I could just kind of give up through the app away and it is what it is.

00:26:02:07 - 00:26:14:06
Speaker 2
No, like you got to stick through times when they're tough. And for me, this might not mean that much to others, but me see myself at 81% box be so you know it's a constant reminder. Go ahead Mark on your.

00:26:14:15 - 00:26:33:03
Speaker 1
Own all for me I share call mom try to call mom at least three times a week. I've got some friends a call he calls his mom once a day which is amazing. But I try to call my mom at least three times a week strength training. So I've got my strength training set for four days a week cardio now.

00:26:33:03 - 00:26:53:00
Speaker 1
And now that I'm on the road to 50, I'm moving that to every day and mobility and yoga stretching, stuff like that, just as I'm getting older and no booze. So trying to eliminate because I mean, obviously coming out of COVID drinking every day was just something that we had. And inflammation set in felt like a bag of hammers.

00:26:53:12 - 00:27:09:19
Speaker 1
So I was just like, you know, I've got to clean up now. It's been a long it's been a long time now since we've kind of made our way out of COVID. So I try to limit the days that I would have a drink like a night. Oh, I was going to have a like a scotch tonight or a beer with dinner or a glass of wine with dinner.

00:27:10:03 - 00:27:32:07
Speaker 1
I try to limit that and I'm fine. And like, my recovery from workouts is way better. Way, way better. My capacity to do more work is way, way more better. So that's my habit. Sure. And then what the client that I was talking about, it was alcohol, exercise, no fast food. He lives in the U.S. So for him, it was it's a Chick fil A thing.

00:27:32:07 - 00:27:55:04
Speaker 1
He said, how you say it, Chick-Fil-A. Chick-Fil-A is like all messes. So good. I've never had it. I don't remember the last time I've actually had fast food. It's crazy. But the idea is you they're controllable now. DJ Going back to I don't know if we've really spent time on the idea of making your bed and why it's important.

00:27:55:04 - 00:28:06:24
Speaker 1
Why is that? People are like, why does he have that on his AB chair? Why? And I make my bed every day. I don't have that on the habit chair but it gets made every day. Why is that there?

00:28:07:19 - 00:28:32:00
Speaker 2
See, that's a part to maybe you don't have it on yours. Just basically you got into that routine. Not saying I'm not in that routine, but sometimes we get that reminder. So making the bed, I can jump into two different directions with this. This is part of the AM routine and I think people need to have more. I suggest having I feel like super aggressive and I said you need to have I suggest an AMPM routine in the AM routine.

00:28:32:00 - 00:29:02:11
Speaker 2
Of Marco or you can dove into the book you can dove into the book about making the bed, but starting off the day, making my bed I eat every morning. So that's good for the brain, right? Brushing your teeth and listening to success. All right. That's kind of my 8 a.m. routine. In Making the bed is for me. I look at it like it's one nothing me versus like the other day.

00:29:03:00 - 00:29:20:10
Speaker 2
So at the end of the day, how about a blond day? I can come back my best mate. It's just something appealing that I started off maybe on the right foot. So it's very appealing in that sense. And it's also setting up the right habits for the day. I'm ready to conquer the next thing and my day and then the next thing.

00:29:20:10 - 00:29:42:21
Speaker 2
I've already knocked one thing down in the first 2 minutes of my day and my first thing is taking your alarm, getting rid of that. So that's my expense. That's my trigger, I guess, is the alarm. And then we'll talk about two new procedures in five, six, seven times. That's a whole other conversation. But one thing I can say that I think I've mentioned in other shows as well, if you really want to get into that, plug your phone.

00:29:42:22 - 00:29:57:14
Speaker 2
And if you use your phone to reach it up in the words, plug it in a different outlet like that's further away from your bed, you can just crawl over and touch it because if you have literally when you get your feet on the floor, it's like a switch. It gets you fired up, basically get ready to go.

00:29:58:02 - 00:30:15:06
Speaker 2
So if you can get your phone in a different place completely, then you have to go shut off your alarm. Then typically you've got to avoid the the snooze button, that sort of thing. That's a dread, too. Oh, my God. So go back to you for a little bit. I dig into making the bed.

00:30:15:10 - 00:30:40:00
Speaker 1
Well, it's just Admiral McRaven, U.S. Navy, watch the video on YouTube. I'll actually put a link on to that YouTube video. I'll put it up on our in our show notes. It's one of the best speeches that he delivers. And he starts off with you. Making your bed every day can literally change the world it's like it's such an impressive conversation.

00:30:40:00 - 00:30:59:23
Speaker 1
And I just I'm one of my friends actually knows that I preach this all the time. He just bought me the book, so he wrote the book on. And the title of the book is Make Your Bed Every Day. And I just keep reiterating this to people how it's just a terrific habit. And you set it right? It's one nothing for you on the day.

00:31:00:02 - 00:31:35:15
Speaker 1
It's one nothing for you. You've done successful something successfully completed a task so if you're a person is just like the queen or the king of unfinished projects, you've just finished a project. And if you have an absolutely shitty day at least you go home and you're bed, you're getting into a nicely made bed. I coached with the guy, my one of my first couple of years of coaching and I loved his saying when we and I use this for football players and I use this for baseball players, when you wear your uniform, you have to wear a uniform, right?

00:31:36:04 - 00:32:05:19
Speaker 1
So tuck your shirt in, you know, don't have like one side and this is one it drives me nuts in football when they're not wearing the uniform properly, right? So everybody wants to be an individual. So here's one and I'm going to sound old school on this. Let the comments come in. But if you want to be that individual play better show me that you're an individual by standing out from the rest by playing better.

00:32:06:23 - 00:32:26:16
Speaker 1
Whatever sport it is, don't have the thing dangling from the side. Your shirt half tucked in, all that stuff. And some people now say, well, this is the modern style. But if you look at professionals, they all look great, right? Nobody's like they might have different shoes, they might have different whatever, but the shirts are tucked in and they look good.

00:32:27:02 - 00:32:44:13
Speaker 1
The high school kid who's got like one sock high, one sock down so that you know, he can stand out on TV or whatever. No, no, I don't buy that. You stand out by playing better. Wear the uniform. We all wear a uniform so we could look like a team. I feel like if.

00:32:44:13 - 00:32:45:16
Speaker 2
You're going on.

00:32:45:17 - 00:32:46:07
Speaker 1
A red here.

00:32:46:18 - 00:33:00:09
Speaker 2
If you want to bomb in the second page, if you want to be an individual playing individual sport, go run the 100 meter, go bowling by yourself and go, you know, darts. Go play darts by yourself. You want to be part of a team, buy into the team concept, taking a shirt with your belt, put your hat on.

00:33:00:09 - 00:33:02:00
Speaker 2
Right? Yeah. Pretty simple.

00:33:02:09 - 00:33:22:02
Speaker 1
Wear the same color socks as everybody else. Anyway, so the my this coach used to say, young man, you look like an unmade bed. Know? And I was just like, oh my God, I love that. I went to Catholic school as a high school kid and you had to tuck your shirt and your dress shirt. Right? We wore a uniform.

00:33:22:14 - 00:33:43:10
Speaker 1
And Mrs. Can Dari, bless her heart, love that lady she used to, like, just hound people. We knew she'd stand outside her classroom and she'd be on you. Like, you got to tuck your shirt in, young man. But I would say, like, man, if you don't look good in your uniform, you look like an unmade bed. I'll never forget that Kenny boy.

00:33:43:10 - 00:34:01:24
Speaker 1
Chuck used to say that to kids all the time to tuck your shirt in, young man. You look like an unmade bed. And everybody's like, Yeah, nobody wants to come into a room with an unmade bed, right? First of all, some people know you're at home thinking nobody ever comes into my bedroom. It's not about anybody else. It's about you it's about you.

00:34:02:09 - 00:34:06:03
Speaker 1
You have control over that environment, right?

00:34:06:20 - 00:34:30:20
Speaker 2
I went to a school with. Sorry for him. No, no, I'm good. I need to breathe a little bit here. We're good know, I'll try and fill in some time for the. I went to a school with no uniform, and now I've been an educator for about 20 years in schools with uniforms. And the conversation I have now in knowing a little bit more in life, 2.03.0 is every profession has its importance as far as McDonald's as uniforms.

00:34:31:03 - 00:34:55:01
Speaker 2
You're not typically going into a job that doesn't have some type of uniform. And it's, again, I think, getting into the right habits. It's getting you into those habits for success. That's literally what I think it does. It's it's tough. You want to be an individual in a school setting race. One day my hair I want to roll something up just so it's different from somebody else, like stand academically.

00:34:55:01 - 00:34:58:12
Speaker 2
How would you do that? First, let's let's do that individual, right?

00:34:58:12 - 00:35:05:18
Speaker 1
Like a speaking of rolling something up, were you in that style with track pants in like the eighties where you had the one leg up?

00:35:06:03 - 00:35:28:05
Speaker 2
No, but I don't know, says one. I didn't do the one. I thought one was offside a little bit, but I had to tools when I was in elementary school. Yeah, okay. Everybody would pick me up the style guy. Ryan Rivers is his name. You'd pick me up from school. My brother would my brothers all the time, and he just looked at me in the morning, pretty boys here, something like that to me out because you walk by my house and walk to school together.

00:35:28:10 - 00:35:31:08
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. He was like, Whatever that style was, he was on it.

00:35:31:13 - 00:35:44:09
Speaker 1
I love it. I love it. And there are there are opportunities. I'm not saying individualism. Socks are individual city. Individual individuality is probably the I don't think that sucks at all, but there's a place for it.

00:35:45:08 - 00:35:46:22
Speaker 2
Time and place. Everything's a lot of times.

00:35:46:23 - 00:35:56:07
Speaker 1
That time and place. Absolutely. You know, like tattoos and like, go for it. You're playing on a team, you wear the uniform. That's my.

00:35:56:18 - 00:36:20:14
Speaker 2
My facility. You look at the Yankees Donaldson we're watching now is with the Yankees and whoever the bringing in for players who not Lindau last year who was it that him in the piece that got in the fight and was he had a big scruffy beard or whatever he looked like and there's a the Rangers comes the Yankees I didn't recognize the guy I like not necessarily and like the clean shaven like that is what it is for but they have a standard.

00:36:20:21 - 00:36:26:15
Speaker 2
Yeah so wherever you're program your organization where you are there's just there needs to be a standard of some sort.

00:36:27:04 - 00:36:49:22
Speaker 1
And I don't care if people disagree with me and I and I had our our football coaching staff fights this tooth and nails with guys. Right. And it's like we all wear the same color. Like if you want a change of color year to year as like what your color is or whatever to change the uniform. But we all have to be the same and again, people don't get it.

00:36:49:22 - 00:37:10:19
Speaker 1
If you understand, if I give you the perspective of the idea of being individual by your play, not by what you look right it's just like, yeah, anyways, too much must are too much hot dog for the bun as some people like to say, right? Hot dog and your hot dog and too much hot dog for the bun and that's not fun for anybody.

00:37:11:05 - 00:37:35:07
Speaker 1
So mustard too much has the mustard stripping off of that, right? So unshackle yourself from bad habits and negative thoughts. So I think this is this is where we need to get into the idea of people are going to say, I'm not motivated to change my habits. It has nothing to do with motivation. It has everything to do with discipline.

00:37:36:05 - 00:37:46:04
Speaker 1
Stop searching for motivation and start cultivating your discipline. Motivation is unreliable. It'll do it right?

00:37:46:12 - 00:37:47:00
Speaker 2
It's a feeling.

00:37:47:10 - 00:37:48:11
Speaker 1
Yes. Right.

00:37:48:20 - 00:37:51:23
Speaker 2
Feelings aren't facts. Feelings are not facts. Sorry. Put you off their yes.

00:37:51:23 - 00:38:11:07
Speaker 1
No, no, no. But that's that's that's what it is, right? That's why we do this discipline is what gets it done, right. It's what's best for you to get it done even when you don't feel like it. And there's probably days like for you on our habits share list, both of us. There's days where it's like, Oh, I don't want to do this.

00:38:11:07 - 00:38:25:10
Speaker 1
And I shared the story a couple of shows ago about like it was raining out I need to get my mileage in, and I went for my walk. So to me, that wasn't motivation. I didn't have the motivation to go, but I manufactured the discipline to do it.

00:38:26:03 - 00:38:41:13
Speaker 2
I had to go my two miles. And do you think I fell at 1030 at night? I'm ready to go to bed. I'm tapped out. But I knew anything about mileage. And do you think I felt like going downstairs and hammer out the elliptical on treadmill? I'm getting my mileage in? No, but I knew I had to look at your face today and see not much in the lead you had.

00:38:42:08 - 00:38:57:14
Speaker 2
But. But once I got that single leg start that stops most people. Once I got going and I'm straight, just like you and your walk when you got going. And then I probably got five or six text me, like about this idea. Took a look at that idea and same thing yesterday I started reading my book, so I knocked that out of my habits chair.

00:38:57:21 - 00:39:10:09
Speaker 2
And then I just wanted time to myself to reflect and stop thinking about 51, thinking 50 different places. What about the podcast now about this? And these are all thoughts I would have never had if I were to just been rushing to school.

00:39:10:09 - 00:39:34:07
Speaker 1
That dude, you just teed me up here for next part of this is we talk about certain habits of successful people and what they do. And one of the things is giving yourself time to actually think because, you know, you asked me earlier about like, what if you feel like your robotic, your days robotic and you got to do with bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, you have to give yourself 15 to like start off slow.

00:39:34:08 - 00:39:53:12
Speaker 1
Like I tried to do 30 minutes of just like thinking I need to actually think about something and could be on a walk like for me like I say like when I'm out riding my bike, that's when I get a lot of thinking done. You're on your own, you're in your zone, no phone, nothing. So I'm exercise I'm doing two things at one time.

00:39:53:12 - 00:40:11:04
Speaker 1
I'm exercising and I'm thinking and I'm processing. I actually dedicate that time as a thinking time, work training, strength training, not so much because I'm trying to be dialed in to what I'm doing, but I have to give myself time to think. And that's also that's just part of a habit, right?

00:40:11:19 - 00:40:33:00
Speaker 2
And I'm sure some other shows. Well, cheering And now to piggyback on some of your stuff, this is every single morning this pops up on my phone. My phone is my reminders. One is silence. Let's have some silent silence affirmations, visualize, read, exercise in stride. So that's kind of set the tone for me. A reminder for the day.

00:40:33:00 - 00:40:41:08
Speaker 2
Let's get these things knocked out. But I'm with you, man. We don't get enough silence. We literally do not. There's just too much noise.

00:40:41:16 - 00:40:59:21
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's that's a tough one, right? Lock in. Don't block out. Lock in. Yeah. So, like, you might have to remove yourself from certain situations. But now the other one I want to do too, is like, we've been talking about, like, the bad things, but if you have good habits, celebrate those things. Be proud of those small things.

00:41:00:04 - 00:41:24:16
Speaker 1
Like, I went off on a show. I don't know if we're teaching a conference, but I went off on a show about people that are late. I have I get so pissed off with people that show up late and don't respect my time. If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. Okay. So that's something it is a controllable don't unless there is a car accident or whatever, but it is a controllable.

00:41:24:18 - 00:41:44:03
Speaker 1
And I know we talked about this before, but if you're a person that knows, okay, I show up on time, I'm reliable, I do this, I eat well, I sleep well, I take this time, celebrate those things. That is a really important thing for you to do is as be proud of those good habits. Don't take them for granted because there's a lot of people that don't have it.

00:41:44:10 - 00:42:05:07
Speaker 1
And just because you have good habits and other people don't have good habits doesn't make you better than them. What we're trying to do is we're just trying to help the people that don't have the best habits, trying to maximize their potential, maximize their performance, capabilities. I think that's what it comes us. How good can you get if you tried to replace some of your bad habits?

00:42:05:15 - 00:42:05:23
Speaker 1
Right.

00:42:06:00 - 00:42:25:19
Speaker 2
If you found your why we're always looking for our why and when you found your why these habits that you've put in place for you help you achieve that goal. Egypt, I really don't think you can just go wandering and things are going to catch up to you. Like, oh, it just it just happened. Nothing just happened. Back to the people say, well, I get robotic and I just want to go slow.

00:42:26:07 - 00:42:45:08
Speaker 2
We all have habits. We are literally creatures of habit. You wake up, there's going to be a habit, you're going to go to bed. And probably most specific times you don't even know it. You have so many habits you're not aware of, and if you can start being organized, I guess in your habits and being aware, and the more you can be aware, the more you can improve and make corrections that need be.

00:42:46:02 - 00:42:55:22
Speaker 1
Yeah. So you've talked before in another show about how we, we, we see in pictures. Right, right. I see that, right? We see that.

00:42:55:22 - 00:42:57:15
Speaker 2
Mysterious nature is not where it's and so.

00:42:57:15 - 00:43:13:07
Speaker 1
This guy in 1993 and this is an idea of of habit visual make it visual right. So like for us it's that app we use the habit share app could be a sticky note on your mirror that accountability, this paperclip strategy came from a guy.

00:43:13:17 - 00:43:14:04
Speaker 2
With this.

00:43:15:09 - 00:43:42:01
Speaker 1
Trent Deer's mid is his name. Okay. So he would go to work in a bank in the morning time and he had a jar on his desk that was empty and he had another jar that had 120 paper clips. And what he would do was he'd make a sales call, I think it was a bank. Wherever they're trying to make money, he would take a paperclip, move it to the empty jar.

00:43:42:10 - 00:43:58:20
Speaker 1
And his goal was by the end of the day, he would empty the jar one jar, and it would be all the other jar would be full because he'd made enough. Anyways, what they found was this guy was making these the bank or whatever tons of money because he was it was just he was making calls, he was going through.

00:43:58:20 - 00:44:22:23
Speaker 1
It was a visual for him. So he created a visual habit, something that he could tie to that made him do it every single day. Making your bed, check it off the list. If it's a checklist, it's a checklist. And stay tuned because we're going to be we're going to have a journal available for sale soon that'll have these habits on there for adults.

00:44:22:23 - 00:44:43:19
Speaker 1
And we're going to have one for kids as well. Where you can I literally check it off for your teen age or your kids. You're here, adolescent kid. Make your bed every day. Amazing habit to get started. Teach your kids these good habits, right? These are all things that are super important. So when you think about creating a visual, it's really, really important.

00:44:44:14 - 00:45:02:12
Speaker 2
And for this for this guy, at the same time, measurement is motivation at the same time. So he had the visual measurement, his motivation. I had 20 tips, it's 120 paper clips. There's a measurement and his motivations to hammer those to the other side to get through that. So measured motivation and level, you're talking about regards to the checklist.

00:45:02:12 - 00:45:26:24
Speaker 2
So Checklist Manifesto is another book we can recommend and the Checklist Manifesto talking. Well, if doctors know there which item is it that they're doing surgery on like they literally what's your name like I remember at some point that's getting annoying. You know I call somebody even if we're calling a bank and they're asking you for your what's your credit card number, your calling card number and you talk to somebody else and to double check and then to double check your address and your name.

00:45:26:24 - 00:45:50:21
Speaker 2
And at some point I'm late. Then I just finished doing it to somebody. I'm running a business. I want to make sure I'm doing a good job. So kudos to you guys doing it right with the checklist. But the doctors, the same way pilots imagine pilots didn't have a checklist night. I think they thought the switch for the film in all of these professions and they have the desire to follow the like.

00:45:51:12 - 00:46:02:01
Speaker 2
They're amazing things to do. And I used to think checklists were like, you're handcuffed again, right? You said unshackled. That's how I used to feel. But it's what's the terminology used for that? It equals freedom.

00:46:02:07 - 00:46:04:04
Speaker 1
Discipline equals freedom.

00:46:05:05 - 00:46:06:08
Speaker 2
Yeah. This is like it.

00:46:06:09 - 00:46:26:24
Speaker 1
It seems counterproductive because you would say like you used the term earlier, robotic. It's not robotic. I'm completing what I need to complete to be the best version of myself. And yeah, I'm not like, oh, whatever. You know, that's yeah, I like there's times where it's like, yeah, let's we're having fun, but there's some things that need to be taken care of.

00:46:27:02 - 00:46:50:22
Speaker 1
And if you think about it, there's opportunities for checklists everywhere. There's apps on your phone. You can get apps on your computer, bum, bum mom tasks, whatever they are, they get it. Get it done, get it done. What are you waiting for? Like I was listening to a show the other day and the guy's like, you know, you're your people are financial struggles, get your stuff organized, get your financial house in order.

00:46:51:04 - 00:47:07:08
Speaker 1
Know how many credit cards you have out there? No where your bills are going every month. It's not hard. You can organize it, spreadsheets or whatever. It is not hard. It's not motivation. It's discipline. It's discipline.

00:47:07:10 - 00:47:25:19
Speaker 2
I remember to call and I were saving for our wedding and we buckle down. So we had made jars. We had a little Mason jars because we liked some things going out to eat. We like going to movies. And they came in with the other jar we had. We put a certain amount of money in each one of those jars, and that was the money we had to spin out for the week or the month.

00:47:25:19 - 00:47:40:19
Speaker 2
I could remember right now. And that's all we had to spend. If we were out, we're going to movies and then we're not going to movies the rest of the month of the rest of the week or whatever. It wasn't that was the money we had, and we saved the money for our own wedding and some, and it came back to having the right habits.

00:47:40:19 - 00:47:56:17
Speaker 2
Or if you weren't the oldest one same time, but having the right habits in place in regards to finances and spending time, what finances is after the hour show? I literally have on my dining room table the bills that I need to take care of today and literally say we're ready to knock them out of the park off the list and that's off the list today.

00:47:56:17 - 00:48:14:13
Speaker 2
Take care of our finances at the same time. But it takes discipline. It takes the right habits, I guess at the same time, but just being aware again, it's just being aware if you would simply know how much money you're spending on how much money you're spending on your cell phone bill, how much is money? And you're saying, well, we're struggling.

00:48:14:13 - 00:48:32:01
Speaker 2
If you look at those things and you trim example, I'm going to leave Bell and they're going to go to the local company. I don't I don't need these channels on my TV. God, I don't use my landline anymore. I just use my cell phone. Like if you. But we just get caught in this rat race. Basically, we can't push, pause.

00:48:34:04 - 00:48:37:21
Speaker 2
Listen, and then put some checklists in place habits.

00:48:38:10 - 00:48:42:03
Speaker 1
And let's let's make it easy for people. Then we talk about, you.

00:48:42:03 - 00:48:42:22
Speaker 2
Know, how are we going to do that?

00:48:43:07 - 00:48:47:05
Speaker 1
We're we're going to give you an instruction manual right now.

00:48:47:06 - 00:48:47:13
Speaker 2
Here you.

00:48:47:13 - 00:49:14:03
Speaker 1
Go. Basically, we want you to think about is like Gigi said, rather than watch. So take a show that you you can do without. Right. So I don't know Dexter. You're talking about Dexter. I think a couple of weeks ago you talked about how you just back and do Dexter. So that's an hour. Instead of watching that for an hour, maybe you're going to go read for an hour or you're going to go for a walk for an hour instead, right?

00:49:14:03 - 00:49:38:14
Speaker 1
So you take you replace a bad with a good. And I think that's a that's a really fine place for people to start. It doesn't have to you don't have to take it all on at once, but you have to start somewhere and identify the ones that are preventing you from your peak performance. Right. So first of all, I'm going to say take care of your body.

00:49:39:07 - 00:49:50:05
Speaker 1
So you have to have good nutrition, good exercise, sleep. And I say don't sleep at night, get what you need, but don't sleep in too much sun.

00:49:51:12 - 00:49:54:11
Speaker 2
I'm going to be recommending you go through a voiceover.

00:49:55:01 - 00:50:22:10
Speaker 1
Here's okay, here's here's what I'm going to say about sleep. Everybody's different everybody's different. You talk to like you see like guys like Jocko, he's showing his watch like four 30 in the morning. He's probably going to bed at ten. Like some people can. Like, we know that we need quality sleep. Right. Cool. And actually read an article the other day where they said, even if you can't sleep just laying there is better than going up, getting up to watch TV.

00:50:22:10 - 00:50:45:21
Speaker 1
So, like, your body's like, it's like resting. You're not necessarily sleeping, but it's better than not laying there and getting up and, and going to watch TV. So I don't want to answer this. How much sleep question because I know that I can get away with 7 hours. But I think it is, is like I find this more early, more I love early mornings now.

00:50:45:22 - 00:51:11:05
Speaker 1
I love my early mornings. It's so easy it's so much done. And again, back of that reflection, quite reflection time exercise. I can read, I can podcasts. I could do extra work before I go to my other job. So these are all things that we have to take. You have to control your environment. Staying up till like 2 a.m. flipping through channels and tick tock and all that stuff is not going to get you anywhere.

00:51:11:18 - 00:51:28:13
Speaker 1
It's not going to get you anywhere unless you're working and you're an influencer and you're doing that and you're making money doing that. Good for you. But if you're just mindlessly doing it, it ain't going to happen. So the sleep thing, it's like, I don't have a straight answer because I know people like and like 5 hours of sleep fine.

00:51:28:15 - 00:51:47:23
Speaker 1
Some people I need eight or nine fine. And we know teenagers is different. But when you get that sleep to me is more important than how long so staying up til two in the morning, sleeping till noon ain't going to cut it because half the world is gone by before you get out of bed. It's not you're not going to be very productive.

00:51:48:02 - 00:51:50:15
Speaker 2
And those shift workers obviously adjust that accordingly.

00:51:50:24 - 00:51:52:10
Speaker 1
Well, yeah, of course. Yeah.

00:51:52:24 - 00:51:56:14
Speaker 2
Okay. What about eating but about eating? We keep eating.

00:51:57:16 - 00:52:25:18
Speaker 1
I don't want to go into too many details, but because we're going to do a full show on it. But I think it's clean. I don't like it. I just eat clean, eat clean, protein, protein centric diet, lots of protein. Most people I read a great article. There's a doctor Gabrielle Leon in the U.S. fantastic about protein. And she says, we're not over fat, we're under muscled.

00:52:26:11 - 00:52:44:13
Speaker 1
And I think one of the problems in our our diet today and it's great, a lot of the research that I've read about diet and nutrition is we are under protein. And I'm not going to get into the idea of, yeah, paleo and all that stuff. And whatever it is. But we do not as a society consume enough protein.

00:52:44:13 - 00:53:07:22
Speaker 1
So whether you want to go Plant-Based, that's a whole other conversation. But we need to get enough protein, but eating enough protein and lots of fruits and vegetables with good quality carbs. It's not complicated. Again, it's discipline. It's not motivation. There's knowledge out there. If you want to be a vegan, go be a vegan. There's lots of knowledge to do that in a healthy way.

00:53:08:03 - 00:53:26:21
Speaker 1
If you want to be in the carnivore diet, there's lots of knowledge out there how to do it and do it right. Go do it. But there's no science that says Doritos Twinkies and S'mores are part of a healthy diet, balanced diet, you know, like it's just not going to happen.

00:53:27:02 - 00:53:31:06
Speaker 2
Shareholders say so anyway. And then. Yes, yes, sorry, sorry, exercise.

00:53:31:16 - 00:53:58:01
Speaker 1
And then again, exercise is individual. But I say this. People probably get tired in that are in my circle. Motion is lotion. Motion is lotion. You have to do resistance training and you have to do cardio, right? So and I and I'm a big believer. I love doing my yoga. I love it. Like I'll try to bang it out twice.

00:53:58:01 - 00:54:19:14
Speaker 1
Three times a week for at least 30 minutes because as I'm getting older and pushing 50, I played every sport under the sun with contacts and my, my joints are feeling like it does make me feel a ton better. Plus it gets into the breathing like it covers a lot of bases for me. So exercise, it's not magical, right?

00:54:19:14 - 00:54:43:08
Speaker 1
It's not magical. Like as we get older you need to be stronger. You're I always say you got to stay relevant, right? If I can't pick up my grandkids down the road, I'll be so dissatisfied, right? I want to be able to grab my grandkids or whatever or heck I want to wrestle my kid like she comes home every night, like, right?

00:54:43:10 - 00:55:20:08
Speaker 1
Every now and then we'll we'll we'll throw down. We'll just check to see if who still boss around here. Right now, the tables are turning a little bit, but that's that's a story for another day. But, you know, those are all things that you have to stay relevant, be able to go for a walk. And one of the things that I was always proud of my dad well into his seventies so he would retire and he would cross-country ski or walk 15 K he'd go into the shack have a coffee and like a little oatmeal and then go back out and do another 15 K and I remember we were out east somewhere where we went

00:55:20:08 - 00:55:36:12
Speaker 1
like like climbing. We went for a hike and my dad was in his mid seventies and he's crushing it like he's just, he's going up and I was like, man, that's what I want to be as I get older. Like I want to be somebody who can do it. Like I want to go on vacation with my kids.

00:55:36:12 - 00:55:47:12
Speaker 1
I want to go out west and I want to go for a ten K hike. I want to do that in my seventies and eighties. I want to be relevant, right? If you sit in a chair all day you will be the shape of that chair.

00:55:51:03 - 00:56:12:09
Speaker 2
We need shirts made of all the stuff you wear, like I think of all your dad. And I think that whole family were so active they didn't look at heart rate monitors. They didn't read about what, you know, almonds were good for them. They just did all these things. I would just to go back and I would just pick brains like crazy.

00:56:12:09 - 00:56:26:14
Speaker 2
Like why? Like why? I really feel like it was just the fact they just loved doing it. There was no rhyme or reason for it. They just wanted to be around family and they wanted to stay active and maybe stay relevant with them anyway.

00:56:26:15 - 00:56:45:04
Speaker 1
But don't you feel good when you exercise you get that endorphins after like you feel great, like it sucks. Maybe like, oh, I got to do this. But then afterwards, I mean, I feel really good. Yeah, I feel really good. And you want it. Listen, there's certain genetic factors that I know I'm fine. I'm sporting a bit of a dad bod and that's okay.

00:56:45:05 - 00:57:03:20
Speaker 1
It's, it's earned, but at some point, I'm also I'm not going to speak for you, but, you know, you look good still, coach. You look good. That's. But it's one of those ones where you got to make sure that you still continue to be, I say, relevant. I know Dan Dawson says that across the street all the time.

00:57:03:20 - 00:57:20:24
Speaker 1
He's like, I'm just trying to be relevant, you know? And I'm out doing sprints with my kids on the street. They're training, they're doing and I'm out doing sprints and my neighbors are like, go away. You're embarrassing us and all this stuff. I was like, Come and join us. Come and join us. You don't have to sprint. You can jog, right?

00:57:20:24 - 00:57:32:24
Speaker 1
So these are all things that are I enjoy. And what I try to do is I try to train with young people because it keeps pushing me. Yeah, right. So that's a fun part of it. Yeah.

00:57:33:06 - 00:57:37:10
Speaker 2
Yeah. Because of the mindset. You talked to us about taking care of your body. What else?

00:57:38:00 - 00:57:45:10
Speaker 1
Reading, reading, reading, reading. If a leader is a reader.

00:57:46:01 - 00:57:49:08
Speaker 2
You readers are readers, readers, our readers, leaders.

00:57:49:16 - 00:58:10:04
Speaker 1
Our readers and you or however your style of reading is. And I'm going to say, you know, listening to books on tape. So if you're in the car a lot in your driving, if you're a truck driver and you want to expand your knowledge base automobile university, right. So I don't know. I get frustrated with radio sometimes. It's just like, oh.

00:58:10:04 - 00:58:11:00
Speaker 2
Don't get me go on.

00:58:11:03 - 00:58:15:20
Speaker 1
Top 40. And I'm like, how many times I got to listen to the same song? And I'm just like, I'm just going for the podcast on.

00:58:16:04 - 00:58:32:19
Speaker 2
And inside about that advertising. Every 3 seconds, the kids will get in there with me and they want to slip in, like you said, their top 40 or whatever it is. And like this, we're going to hear a song or am I going to hear advertising for this, this, this? Or then I'm hearing this. People complain about their lives.

00:58:32:19 - 00:58:40:11
Speaker 2
The two talk show host tell me what we're doing, but we not going to be a conversation about garbage and makeup. And it's just.

00:58:40:20 - 00:58:56:18
Speaker 1
Yeah, no, there's so much more that you can be doing to maximize your your time. Like, I know a lot of people, a lot of our listeners say, I listen to you guys on the work, on the train, I listen to you guys on the on the way to work every day. I, I download one or whatever the word gets me through the week.

00:58:56:24 - 00:59:22:05
Speaker 1
I have a 20 minute commute and I bang out your show, you know, two or three shows a week. That's, that's great. That's what I want. But I listen to other podcasts like it's I, there's a few that I like listening to, but I think what it does is you're learning a lot and you don't. And I talked to a guy on the phone the other day and he was saying again, I, I try to say I'm neutral, but he's like, I don't.

00:59:22:12 - 00:59:53:08
Speaker 1
He says, I listen to stuff that's on every side of the spectrum, right? Like right wing stuff, left wing stuff. He, he wants to be educated on all the issues I'm more about like health and nutrition and all that stuff. But like, that's, that's important. But I want to know what's wrong and what's right. I want to know what's everywhere and then make your own opinions so anyway, he's like, to me, taking care of your mind is that along with like having that quiet time to just kind of think and be with your thoughts and the gratitude good idea.

00:59:53:09 - 01:00:17:05
Speaker 1
Sitting outside like this morning, before we came on the show, I was having my coffee and looking outside and coffee black coffee and watching the birds. It's like I was like, Man, there's a boatload of birds in my backyard. They're all fighting for nest. The subway is great. I love springtime. There's so many things. So to me, it's like it's a gratitude thing, right?

01:00:17:05 - 01:00:20:22
Speaker 1
So these are all things that are super important. And what are you laughing at? I'm sorry.

01:00:21:04 - 01:00:40:11
Speaker 2
Because we're we're birds, even back. Same thing. Birds, squirrels, all this stuff. But when I look at them, I look at from an exercise perspective, I sitting there like, who's dominating this thing? How are they learning how the taking off the squirrel jumps from that fire? What did he analyze before he did it? Like, I just thought, but like a deep dove to find out, like, how is this working right now?

01:00:40:21 - 01:00:56:05
Speaker 2
Because the animals are amazing. They're amazing. They move around all day long. And then we have, you know, how they just understand each other when they're anyways, I'm going into a whole other engine with this stuff. But it's just it's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Eight nature's amazing.

01:00:56:13 - 01:01:11:21
Speaker 1
My neighbor's cat was in my backyard yesterday. I had a little staredown with them. I lost. I was like, wow. Anyways, you're right. Nature is amazing. So it is. I'm looking forward to getting the mountain bike out and getting down on the trails because you see so many cool things out there and it's, again, great time for thought.

01:01:11:21 - 01:01:32:09
Speaker 1
So that's the idea of taking care of your mind. And I think the other part of taking care of is social media. And I know like, you know, we have accounts, we do our thing on social media. And but I think you have to be very careful and limit that social media time because it it could bend your mind a little bit in a lot of negative ways.

01:01:32:09 - 01:01:32:15
Speaker 1
Right.

01:01:33:01 - 01:01:50:11
Speaker 2
I catch myself so personally sometimes to where and like you talked about it before, even channel surfing or Netflix surfing or whatever it is. And same thing with the social media. And then sometimes it's like I get a punch in the face and what are you doing right now? You could be doing ABCD, like, why are we doing right now?

01:01:51:04 - 01:01:52:03
Speaker 2
You get in bed.

01:01:52:11 - 01:02:20:10
Speaker 1
How many times my students or I ask all the time. Like how often in a week are you scrolling? Where you get to the point on Instagram where it says you're all caught up, right? How far do you have? How much stuff do you have to see? And it's like, I there's this stuff that I don't care. So I try to that's probably why we have terrible social media accounts is because we don't spend time on it right like we don't.

01:02:20:10 - 01:02:33:10
Speaker 1
And it's like one of those ones was like, Yeah, here's what we're doing and that's it. But like, I'm not like somebody like, Oh, you can boost your social media 300% if you like. Did the fancy tick tock viral dance? I said, Can you see Lauren?

01:02:33:10 - 01:02:37:02
Speaker 2
Can I no.

01:02:37:08 - 01:02:37:18
Speaker 1
No.

01:02:38:06 - 01:02:44:08
Speaker 2
No. We're like, the Yankees have no shaving. And she's been shaving the same concept. Not on this thing.

01:02:44:16 - 01:03:06:08
Speaker 1
Right? So these are all reals. And then yo, yo, yo, boost your social. Listen great. I'm all the power to the people that are doing that. But I would rather provide our listeners with information and be relevant that way than being on TikTok for entertain our reals or whatever they say. There's a place for that and there's an industry for that.

01:03:06:18 - 01:03:12:23
Speaker 1
But yeah, we could do better. But I think we just want to we're going to stay in our lane on that one right now.

01:03:12:24 - 01:03:13:13
Speaker 2
Roger that.

01:03:13:24 - 01:03:17:21
Speaker 1
Now, here's one that's going to maybe blow your mind. And I know you and I have had this conversation.

01:03:17:21 - 01:03:51:08
Speaker 2
Go ahead and we'll go back to the social media part two. So waking up in the morning, back to the AM routine, I'm just using my as an example, not saying the furthest thing from perfection, making your bed from brushing teeth, success hotline. Then maybe opening your phone to some things like take care of you before what I'm seeing sometimes and I've heard some goes off alarm goes off and first thing is like all the I even all those things, the pings, the whatever happens some this morning or late last night.

01:03:51:17 - 01:04:11:10
Speaker 2
So on your Facebook where everybody else's lives are doing what's popular on Instagram, you're reacting to everything else is happening in society and not taking care of yourself. Take care of your business. Find that window for yourself. It's five, ten, 15 minutes to yourself then if you want to take it off. I'm suggesting go on airplane mode at night.

01:04:11:10 - 01:04:23:22
Speaker 2
That's just my suggestion. Do your thing and then if that's something you like doing, then take airplane mode off and then have a real stop in the world to take care of yourself first. And then you can be so much more productive somebody else do.

01:04:24:07 - 01:04:51:06
Speaker 1
Well, what you just said remind me of something to say. Like spend time with people that matter. An influencer from wherever, across the globe who has no impact on your existence. So how much time are you spending watching them versus spending time improving yourself or your family? It doesn't equate to me that makes sense.

01:04:51:17 - 01:04:53:20
Speaker 2
I feel we don't have sources.

01:04:53:20 - 01:05:20:04
Speaker 1
I feel like I'm coming across like I'm rant. I know I don't apologize for it. I'm not apologizing for this. I know it sounds like I'm ranting about this, but it doesn't equate to me. Why am watching a video of stupid stuff? It's entertainment. I get it. It's entertainment. But don't make an excuse that you have bad habits, you're unhealthy, you have no money.

01:05:21:01 - 01:05:39:08
Speaker 1
Or whatever. You feel like a bag of toys and you're not getting better because you're spending that time doing something on something irrelevant to your current existence. You are not taking care of the Controllables I that's my rant on that.

01:05:40:06 - 01:05:52:14
Speaker 2
I I love Bag of toys. We will have a show in the future that says Bag of Toys. I'm putting this in right now into this show. I use that also. I heard you say it. We're having a shirt that's in the same bag of toys.

01:05:52:14 - 01:06:13:17
Speaker 1
They get toys, bag, a rusty hammers, whatever you want to call like. Yeah, I had this conversation with my own kids and it's like my my oldest daughter insisted that I deleted tik tok. I was like, she just like explain it. She's like, get me her roommates and now WhatsApp. Here's something you be the influencer, you be the influence she is.

01:06:13:17 - 01:06:29:12
Speaker 1
So she deleted tik tok, now her friends deleted tik tok. They're not doing it anymore because they would just sit there and waste time and then they realized like, hey, instead of tik tok our one, we sit around and let's shoot the breeze. Let's converse about something important and get to know each. I was like, Oh, my God, good, good.

01:06:29:13 - 01:06:54:05
Speaker 1
For you. You know, those are all super important things. And it's, it, it's important. It's important. And I think that's where the idea spend time with people that matter. So here's something else. If you're going to have and you know, I've talked about this before, don't spend time with people that are not going to support your pursuit of good habits.

01:06:55:16 - 01:07:18:21
Speaker 1
Right. You and I talk about this all the time. Like you know, call it the inner circle. I don't have a lot of friends. Right. But like I say, like if I want to be more conscious of my health where my buddies are going out drinking every three nights or two nights and they're going out and they're drinking a boatload of beer and eating chicken wings and they're making fun of me because I don't want to do that.

01:07:19:19 - 01:07:35:18
Speaker 1
No offense to you guys, but I'm not going to be participating in that. Right. So these are all things that you have to make those decisions to make yourself there. Tough decisions to make doesn't mean they're not going to be friends, but you have to change, maybe changing the activity that you're going to do with those friends. Hey, let's go from like with that.

01:07:36:05 - 01:07:41:21
Speaker 2
I was going to go with that. Like there's friends and acquaintances. Some of the others that people sound like acquaintances, not friends.

01:07:41:21 - 01:08:17:16
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, that's something that they're tough decisions to make. Remember, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with, right? So that is something that you got to think about. What are we doing when we're together? With those people? Right. So now I want to say, like, we talk a lot of people talk about goals and something that I wanted to touch on instead of goals is try themes because again, like motivation goals can be deceiving and the goal posts can change on you quite readily.

01:08:17:24 - 01:08:43:18
Speaker 1
And a lot of people, we've proven that they, you know, their New Year's resolutions, they they don't stick with them. But if you establish a theme and this is really cool as a theme is something that puts you in the right direction, we're like, I want to eat less sugar, right? So or I want to exercise more is a general idea that points you in the right heading right.

01:08:43:18 - 01:09:05:24
Speaker 1
And this you don't get that weight of like, Oh, man, I fell off the wagon. Yeah, like I'll have a glass, I'll have a couple of glasses of wine over a nice dinner with some friends. Does that mean I'm a failure because I had a couple of drinks? Absolutely not. That's normal behavior. So having the theme. So my theme is I'm trying to drink less.

01:09:06:23 - 01:09:23:16
Speaker 1
I'm not trying to eliminate alcohol in my life, but I'm trying to drink less or I'm trying to exercise more, I'm trying to read more. Having a goal of I'm going to read 30 books by the end of the year is probably not something that's going to happen. But say, like, I want to try to bang out more reading this year.

01:09:24:07 - 01:09:32:24
Speaker 1
So maybe it's in the form of books, maybe it's a form of audio books. There's all different things. So that's why I'm a big advocate of the idea of themes that make sense.

01:09:33:09 - 01:09:41:18
Speaker 2
Yeah. Does like you introduce that to me in the past and I was a goal person, but I totally understand your perspective and I like it now respect it.

01:09:41:18 - 01:10:05:08
Speaker 1
If you're disciplined and crush the goals right? And but if you're a person and so I don't have the motivation or the discipline to try things instead. Now I know it's important because we're talking about coaching and leadership can you go into us into this for us about the idea of pre and post competition or pre and post practice habits because this will be good for our coaches and our leaders.

01:10:05:24 - 01:10:27:24
Speaker 2
Yeah. So what? And that's actually the question. That's how that conversation allowed together. What are you doing? So we're going to look at from a coaching perspective, what are you doing pre competition? Like what's the structure, how longer your team showing up there? We're just going to stick the sports for this one. I'm assuming along your team showing up once they arrive, what's that structure look like?

01:10:27:24 - 01:10:48:07
Speaker 2
How long are they doing certain things? What is it? What is that? What's that habit? Look like? And then same thing on the flip side. And then we had this meeting with Officer on this week and we talked about post-game conversations like how long what's your post being meeting look like? How long is it for? What's your goal or your theme?

01:10:48:12 - 01:11:09:05
Speaker 2
Maybe you guys put that up there with your theme for the post-game conversation. So having these things in place, having these habits in place, you're kind of book ending. I guess you're your competition in your practice on both ends of it. And be able to have something in place that's going to be tangible for you, for your athletes, and for yourself basically to check off.

01:11:09:22 - 01:11:28:10
Speaker 2
I keep saying this checking off thing, but it's just the way it is and that's the way we're working and it works for us. Doesn't mean has to work for everybody else, but it works for us. So making sure arrive an hour and a half ahead of time you know, what's the example for practice? So like Mark says, if you're on time, you're late.

01:11:28:10 - 01:11:33:02
Speaker 2
If you're early on time, I'll use the number a 6:00, 6:00 practice.

01:11:33:02 - 01:11:34:13
Speaker 1
Totally just butchered that, by the way.

01:11:35:09 - 01:11:36:11
Speaker 2
Yeah, go ahead. What if.

01:11:36:11 - 01:11:39:06
Speaker 1
You're early? You're on time. If you're on time, you're late.

01:11:39:15 - 01:12:04:24
Speaker 2
A thank you. I'm work in progress. Yes. So if you go 6:00, once everybody gets there is the conversation piece of this is what the practice plan looks like for today. What our objectives are for the day. They're off to go example. We'll do stretching and then then break out into this group to do this. And these individuals are doing it and you go through practice practices over we getting together as a group to have discussion.

01:12:05:00 - 01:12:25:24
Speaker 2
Everyone scampering on their own is their know for us. We use sweeping the sheds so I literally have your practice. We have rooms in each dugout because we have enough players, we kind of divide things and they literally sweep the sheds like they sweep over the last two guys. That we pick. And it's different people. Every practice they sweep out, they're the last to leave to make sure everything's picked up better than we found it.

01:12:26:09 - 01:12:30:18
Speaker 2
Rather brooms and we go store things away. So what are your habits what do you think you have in place.

01:12:31:04 - 01:12:38:10
Speaker 1
Now, Coach? Do you give your players individual time to formulate their own habits and how would that look?

01:12:39:04 - 01:13:06:12
Speaker 2
Well, that's all we talk about the well, better how we use the well better, how to kind of structure what they're themes and use the word theme, again, their theme, their goals for themselves and what they need to accomplish and what they need to do that we'll still position specific things for if we're talking about the team setting position, specific things for them to be able to do if it's a pre practice or pre game or warmup activity to get them to kind of help them in their domain.

01:13:07:08 - 01:13:30:18
Speaker 1
Amazing, amazing. And I think it's really good that younger people, not just athletes, but learn to develop good habits early, right? Like you think about personal care, brushing your teeth, making your bed. These are all things that the earlier you can get on this and establish it, the better. It just becomes part of their lifestyle.

01:13:30:23 - 01:13:50:03
Speaker 2
And people have asked that. To what age do you think you would introduce this? At what age do you think there's not like you said about the sleep is not a certain hour. Like sometimes you know when it's appropriate or sometimes you scratch the surface, at least put the bug in the ear so there's no set at five.

01:13:50:03 - 01:14:02:19
Speaker 2
You need to be able to do this at six, you need to be able to do this. But I'm a huge fan of what you're saying. If we can introduce things that are young enough age, but time to get there, they get the experience to do these things on consistent basis and do them well on.

01:14:02:20 - 01:14:24:18
Speaker 1
One of my training clients was really working hard to get himself into better shape, and he did. He did. He really, really did a good job. And then he set his sights on his like I think we got and it was less about like the exercise he was doing with me. It was just he changed a lot of the habits in his life.

01:14:25:22 - 01:14:44:13
Speaker 1
Then the big thing was alcohol and food, and he just did not have a good set up for that at all. It was bad anyways. He ended up losing like in a year, less like 50 some pounds and he was gone. Like my best compliment was he didn't need me anymore because he had established it all on his own right now.

01:14:44:13 - 01:15:07:01
Speaker 1
And, but I remember he said to me like, you know, my son nine or ten years old and he's like, my son's not necessarily healthy. And I'm like, well, he says like he's eating this, this and this. I was like, why is that even in the house? Why? Why is that? Like, you are the leader in this. He is, you are the role model in this.

01:15:07:11 - 01:15:26:11
Speaker 1
So if you're eating bad, that's the habit that your kids picking up on. You're formulating those habits by your son. So do better by your some get your own house in order, which is good that you have done that. But then, hey, now it's like, hey, kid, we don't have those. Where's the chips that we don't have chips?

01:15:26:11 - 01:15:47:20
Speaker 1
We got apples. And here's here's a little bit of cheese if you want to like a little more like whatever you have to start early and don't be afraid to be the parent. And I think that's one of the conversation, right? Don't be afraid to be the parent and say, now we're not going to eat that or no, that's not what we want.

01:15:47:20 - 01:16:06:14
Speaker 1
It's not a great idea. It's you're you're the show. You're leading the show. And that's what I was like. You have to be in charge. Of what's going on in your own house. You control unless your nine year old is going out and buying the groceries and bringing them into the house. But in most cases, it's not the point right?

01:16:07:00 - 01:16:10:00
Speaker 1
So. Oh, man.

01:16:11:00 - 01:16:31:23
Speaker 2
I'll jump in here. The steps in the house, there's some steps here in the house. So one just to be able to see how things work and what kind of ignites you and gets you going. So when there's a trigger and a routine and then it rewards. So example of a trigger. Let's go on the negative perspective. We don't have proper habits in place.

01:16:32:07 - 01:16:50:14
Speaker 2
So you trigger example. We use baseball selfishly as the umpire makes it back off. There's a trigger just like your line would be in the morning, right? So you trigger the umpire. It makes it back on your routine when you don't have proper routines, the hands go up in the air every time. It seems like you could see the hands go up in sports, the hands go up in the air.

01:16:50:15 - 01:17:07:24
Speaker 2
There's some problems. Yeah. Hand to go up in the air. You're looking back, the umpire kind of shaking your head. You're looking over the bench like, hey, look, this person screwed me over. Look, I'm in the 02 situation now. I think it's everybody else's fault. There's your routine. Not good. And then your reward. What do you get rewarded with this?

01:17:08:11 - 01:17:34:19
Speaker 2
Everyone knows that you feel like the umpire screwed you over, and then you're letting everybody know and you're pointing the finger. So that's your trigger routine reward. If we can get a recycle that trigger, same types of thing happens the trigger. So it's almost like event response outcome, that same process. So again, the trigger back all routines, if we have proper routines, we have good routines in place.

01:17:34:19 - 01:17:54:14
Speaker 2
Like we talk about red, yellow and green. I'm stepping out, taking a deep breath, find my focal point or if I'm grabbing some dirt, squeezing it and let it go, it's over. Nothing, control. I can only control how I react now in my routine. So my routine puts me into the right situation. And then I go back to my reward now I just move on.

01:17:54:20 - 01:18:14:18
Speaker 2
I literally that thing did not affect me. And sometimes I'll tell some players that you don't. If we need that specific pitch to win or for you to be successful, we have bigger problems. Yeah. Don't let that one thing kind of dictate how. Because of that, we lost the game. Because of that, when you break things down, it's not that one specific moment.

01:18:14:18 - 01:18:19:19
Speaker 2
It's how we are habits and our preparation. So that's a little bit of the three step process.

01:18:19:19 - 01:18:57:06
Speaker 1
Yeah, and it's interesting that event response outcome. We were in New York City down in Times Square, and shocker, I went in wanted I wanted a coffee. So we are and it was black. It was busy. Right. And it was there's a lot of people in the baristas. They were they were like it was overwhelming. The amount of people that it's New York City down like Manhattan and somebody got messed up the order and there was a long wait to get your black order right so the person lost their mind kind of say a Karen lost their mind.

01:18:58:24 - 01:19:21:05
Speaker 1
And it was it was really embarrassing. And you could see people they were going off and people were starting to squirm a little bit. And it was kind of like, what's going on here? And I said to leaders, like, how is this helping anybody here as this? Like, are you feeling better about yourself that you're belittling this poor girl that's working her butt off or.

01:19:21:06 - 01:19:41:23
Speaker 1
And I think it was like, you know, whoever was serving or didn't actually make the drink, but they're taking the brunt of it. Yeah. I was just like, you know, luckily, she wanted a black coffee. So I was like, you can have mine. But like, it was just one of those ones where it's like, why? Like you say, the reward is is like, is it making you feel better to be upset at this level publicly?

01:19:42:10 - 01:19:55:05
Speaker 1
Right. Where you could have just said, hey, this is the wrong order. Can I mean, it's easy for me to say because I'm not there and I who knows what that person's day was like. Maybe there was other things. Remember, the person's not the problem. The problem is the problem.

01:19:55:05 - 01:19:55:15
Speaker 2
Problem.

01:19:56:04 - 01:20:16:12
Speaker 1
So anyways, so she turned her aggression to me and be like, you get out. Anyways, it was like it was uncomfortable. But your story reminded me of this. It doesn't have to be a sports thing. Could be a life thing. Yeah. There's always a trigger, a routine and a reward, which tells me the way this lady was acting was probably not the first time this had happened.

01:20:17:14 - 01:20:40:19
Speaker 1
Right? Is probably not the first time that she's gone off on somebody in the service industry. Like, it doesn't, it doesn't take much to to make somebody's day or to make somebody else's day bad. So anyways, these are all these are habits that we get into. It's that negative mindset instead of having that positive mindset. So I just want to say, like, make yourself worthy of winning, right?

01:20:41:02 - 01:21:00:19
Speaker 1
Make yourself worthy of winning by developing winning habits and a winning mindset. Like when I when we mean habits, that means how you think. And we did a show on habits our sorry, we did a show on mindset. If you have that morning mindset, these habit things will be super easy. Right? And I've heard you say this before, wake up, awesome.

01:21:01:07 - 01:21:22:12
Speaker 1
Go to bed tired. You've done your work, you've done your job. And I think that's what we have to really that's what we're trying to get through today is we're all capable of change. And the other one I want to on a T-shirt is I'm better today than I was yesterday, and I'm going to be better tomorrow than I was today.

01:21:23:14 - 01:21:27:05
Speaker 1
Right. I think that's all we need to make sure that we're heading in that right direction.

01:21:28:16 - 01:21:29:16
Speaker 2
Was our call to action.

01:21:30:03 - 01:21:31:10
Speaker 1
Oh, man.

01:21:31:15 - 01:21:33:16
Speaker 2
Journal time. Here we go.

01:21:33:16 - 01:21:52:14
Speaker 1
All right. So this is where and you say in your when your habits take time describe you take time to scribe. And I know this is something that we've highlighted before. So journaling is really important, I think, for leaders and coaches to keep yours with. So much goes on in a day. Write it down. So this is an easy one.

01:21:52:20 - 01:22:16:17
Speaker 1
This is one of our easiest call to actions that we'll ever have. So I want you to make a list of your habits. Okay. So like we've shared some of our exercise, reading, drinking coffee, put it in there. What you eat? Yeah, black. I don't know why. Actually, there is a story of why I like black coffee. I never I didn't drink coffee until I was an adult.

01:22:17:06 - 01:22:38:06
Speaker 1
And I was out we taking a group of students on a I didn't have a lot of money when I first started teaching, and I had the opportunity to take a group of students on a on an exchange. So we went to Italy and we were in Venice, and I had never had coffee before. So you ever see the movie with Will Ferrell?

01:22:38:19 - 01:22:58:19
Speaker 1
These are the soccer coach, and it's like, what's his name? Mike Ditka in it. What's the kicking and screaming? So I was basically the Will Ferrell here. So what I did was I used to run a lot more back then, so I'd get up in the morning when we were traveling and I'd go for a run. It was Venice so I'd get up at like five 30, 6:00 in the morning.

01:22:58:23 - 01:23:20:13
Speaker 1
Nobody was up at that time except for the lady that who's like the little kind of hotel we were staying and she was baking and making like little biscuits and stuff like that and coffee and I'd go for a run. She'd always look at me. I didn't understand a word she said, but after the first day I'd come in and she had a coffee and like, like a biscuit there for me.

01:23:21:12 - 01:23:36:17
Speaker 1
I like a biscotti, sorry. And she was like coffee and I was like, I don't drink coffee. And she was like, No, no, you drink coffee. And I didn't want to insult the old lady. So I started drinking coffee and it was the most delicious coffee. And I was like, Oh, God, this I've been missing out on this my entire life.

01:23:36:23 - 01:24:03:11
Speaker 1
And that was it. And it started from there. So I was like, Yeah, that's how my coffee addiction started. Yeah. So that's that's where it was in Venice, Italy. So and it was black, so I never had anything in it. So I've never really, you know, had much experience with other stuff like that. So I know some people like there Wayne Gretzky's, which is nine, I had a friend of ours who works, runs a Tim Hortons here in town, and I said, What's the craziest drink you've ever served?

01:24:03:11 - 01:24:28:06
Speaker 1
And he said, We got a regular that comes in for a large Wayne Gretzky, nine cream, nine sugars. So if you're a wing drinker, out there and bless your heart, that's a lot of stuff. So anyways, back to the sorry you sent me down a rabbit hole there gee. So making a list of your have all your habits.

01:24:28:06 - 01:24:46:08
Speaker 1
We've shared a bunch of ours here with you guys. You can use the habit, your app if you want, highlight the good ones and and make sure you keep celebrating those and doing those. Identify the bad ones. And the idea is like I use a column is if you have a bad wants to see like it's Doritos, what are you going to replace Doritos with?

01:24:46:20 - 01:25:10:15
Speaker 1
And you have to have a plan on how you're going to replace the bad ones with a better one. Okay. And I think that's what that's what we want you to do this week. That's your homework for the week is make sure that you just list them all out. And if you want to take it a step further using download that Habit Share app, find your accountability partner and start sharing some of those good habits you want to go to, you will be rewarded.

01:25:10:15 - 01:25:27:12
Speaker 2
I promise that out of that, before we conclude here, I tried this with a class that I'm working with now. People talk about vision work, so I had them do sort of their assignment, a vision board. So on this side, but on this side, what are the things that are going to prevent you from doing this? Because they're going to happen.

01:25:27:12 - 01:25:47:03
Speaker 2
It's literally out there. So why the vision board's awesome, but let's be realistic that things are going to get in the way. So what are those things? And then underneath I talked about exactly you set a plan. What is going to be the plan? So if your Doritos is out, something else is in. What's the plan? You can just say you can just say it's going to be that simple and hopefully it is simple for some of you.

01:25:47:03 - 01:25:51:05
Speaker 2
But what's the plan when it hits the fan? What is the game plan? Hmm.

01:25:52:00 - 01:26:04:12
Speaker 1
Cool. Wake up. Grow up so you can show up and be your best self friend. Well, that does it for this episode of Benchmark thanks for listening. Until next time.

01:26:05:06 - 01:26:06:05
Speaker 2
Keep crushing it.

People on this episode

Jean-Gilles Larocque

Host

Marc Messier

Host

Benchmarked

Benchmarked

Habits - You Are Your Habits And Your Habits Are You. Are Your Habits Restricting Your Success?

People on this episode

Jean-Gilles Larocque

Marc Messier

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