China McCarney - Business Leader, Best Selling Author, Trainer, and Mental Health Advocate. Artwork

Benchmarked

Welcome to Benchmarked with Marc Messier and J-G Larocque. We are all in on Leadership, Coaching, Mental Performance, and overall support of those seeking to be the greatest version of themselves. It's all about leading the players and coaching the coaches. We will venture through our 9 Elements of Successful Leadership and bring you interviews with powerful leaders and influential athletes, as well as interesting stories from our time on the bench and in the classroom. Being a good leader requires a continued evolution and growth. This show strives to provide you with the tools necessary to grow and become the best possible leader and have the greatest possible impact on those you lead. Are you ready to level up your leadership and coaching game?

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Benchmarked

China McCarney - Business Leader, Best Selling Author, Trainer, and Mental Health Advocate.

June 07, 2022 • Messier Larocque Performance Group • Season 1 • Episode 23

China McCarney is the founder and CEO of the Athletes Against Anxiety and Depression Foundation and Vice President and CFO of Jaeger Sports. He has a demonstrated history of working in the sports industry. Skilled in Nonprofit Organizations, Budgeting, Coaching, and Athletic Training. He is also an operations professional with a Certification in Sport and Fitness Psychology focused in College of Extended & International Education from California State University-Dominguez Hills.
Besides that he a two time Amazon Best Selling author: Off the Field and Tell your Story

Show Notes:
-Using his struggles to fuel is career as business professional and help others
-Dealing with anxiety, depression and panic attacks (athletes against anxiety and depression)
-#Bethechange
-#Ridthestigma
-The creating of a Mental Health Manual to help other athletes
-The reach of Jaeger sports across baseball in North America
-The impact of poor coaching and communication on an athletes' mental health
-Coaching with compassion and understanding while still holding people to a performance standard

Connect with China:
https://www.instagram.com/chinamccarney/
https://www.instagram.com/aaadfoundation/
https://twitter.com/ChinaMcCarney
https://twitter.com/AAADFoundation
https://mentalhealthmanual.org
https://linktr.ee/aaadfoundation
https://www.facebook.com/ryanchina.mccarney

Book: The Mental Health Manual

Book: Off The Field

Book: Tell Your Story

Connect with us:
https://linktr.ee/BenchmarkedPodcast

Thanks for listening to our show. We want to hear from you! Leave us a comment and/or a review.
KEEP CRUSHING IT!

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00:00:00:06 - 00:00:40:02
Speaker 1
Hey team, welcome the Benchmarked the Leadership Coaching and Mental Performance Podcast with Coach Mass and Coach Larocque. Thanks for joining us. Our guest tonight is an experienced vice president of marketing operations with a demonstrated history of working in the sports industry. He's skilled in nonprofit, organizations, budgeting, coaching and athletic training. He's also an operations professional with sir, with a certification in sport and fitness psychology focused in college of extended and international education from California State University, Dominguez Hills.

00:00:40:18 - 00:00:42:19
Speaker 1
Let's welcome China. McNerney.

00:00:43:07 - 00:00:46:03
Speaker 2
But before we do that, let's let Mark take a deep breath.

00:00:46:24 - 00:00:59:04
Speaker 3
Oh, man. Thank you. Thank you for having me. And I'm shocked at the skill that you got that in one take. That was a graphic China Chai.

00:00:59:14 - 00:01:26:10
Speaker 2
You're the founder and CEO of Athletes Against Anxiety and Depression Foundation. And I'm going to say that again, founder and CEO of Athletes Against Anxiety and Depression Foundation. Let's let that sink in for a second for listeners and Vice President Jagr Sports. Besides that, you're a two time Amazon bestselling author of Off the Field and tell your story That's all right, man.

00:01:26:14 - 00:01:28:08
Speaker 2
That's not a bad start, I guess.

00:01:29:10 - 00:01:45:21
Speaker 3
Not a bad start. And yeah, I'm pretty bashful. And my dad taught me to be very humble. So if you're watching, you can see me squirm from the reading of the stuff. But yeah, it's been a fun ride. So far and hopefully many years to come.

00:01:46:10 - 00:02:04:11
Speaker 1
Wow. It's been exciting in the buildup and anticipation of meeting you because there's so there's so many things about you and your career and your in your passions and your experiences. It's like, where do we go? This should be like a three show episode. Like three episodes show because.

00:02:04:11 - 00:02:06:00
Speaker 2
There's a Netflix mini series.

00:02:07:02 - 00:02:07:23
Speaker 1
Starring China.

00:02:08:18 - 00:02:10:00
Speaker 3
That's amazing, man.

00:02:10:00 - 00:02:10:22
Speaker 2
Does that sound cool?

00:02:10:23 - 00:02:30:19
Speaker 1
I know, I know. So April in California, first of all, I'm jealous that you're in California, which is obviously warmer than, again, Canada that you're experiencing right now. So that's pretty cool. So you're a California boy like born and raised, correct? And played you played ball there, college ball was there and everything. So give us a little bit of that background for us, please.

00:02:31:05 - 00:03:00:17
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. Born and raised in sunny Southern California, fortunately. Moved around a bit, obviously for baseball, but always ended up back here Love the weather, hate the the density of humans, you know, anxiety, social anxiety, stuff like that. L.A. can be a little overwhelming at times, but yeah, nothing to complain about. And yeah, just played baseball my whole life.

00:03:01:20 - 00:03:30:07
Speaker 3
Sports was kind of the foundation on which I was taught basically all of my life lessons from my dad. He was a football player at Oregon and then went into the Air Force, and so had a good combination of sternness with strategy. And yeah, I just think there's so much you can learn about leadership, community, community relationships from athletics and feel blessed that that's kind of been my world for 35 years.

00:03:30:07 - 00:03:34:21
Speaker 3
And hopefully every year let's use a henceforth this early ahead.

00:03:34:22 - 00:03:35:22
Speaker 1
For a while.

00:03:36:09 - 00:03:36:24
Speaker 3
From this point.

00:03:36:24 - 00:03:39:09
Speaker 2
Forward, you know, using big words on the show.

00:03:40:20 - 00:03:41:03
Speaker 3
Yeah.

00:03:41:17 - 00:04:07:14
Speaker 1
I don't even know where to start because so let's talk about first getting drafted, getting drafted twice so I could barely wrap my head around not failing to get drafted once you get drafted twice Cleveland and Tampa, which is, which is terrific. So talk to us about this because I know all of your your your sports experience as a player, as an athlete really propelled you into where you are now, correct?

00:04:08:06 - 00:04:30:18
Speaker 3
Correct. Yeah. And the one of the biggest life lessons from being drafted was there was so many expectations around which round are you going to be drafted? In what year are you going to? I was draft eligible five years in a row, which is rare because my senior year in high school, then I went to JUCO and then I had junior year and senior year.

00:04:32:01 - 00:04:53:14
Speaker 3
And so every year there was a little bit different of an expectation. And I did not enjoy the process as much as I should have when I look back on it because, you know, when the first ten rounds passed and you've been told a bunch of expectations from scouts, agents, different things well now you failed with quotation Mark Marks, right?

00:04:53:14 - 00:05:12:04
Speaker 3
When you get drafted later in the draft is how it felt, which now looking back on it, it was such a cool experience to get that call and to be fortunate enough to get it twice. But it was a lesson in terms of something we preach at Jager Sports all the time, which is being present, right? Be present, enjoy the moment.

00:05:12:12 - 00:05:33:04
Speaker 3
That's all you can really control. And in a way, I didn't really take all of the positives in that moment of how that would have been to celebrate with the family because I was so programed to have an expectation of where I was going to sign all that kind of stuff. So yeah, it was, it was a blessing and one that's more of a blessing.

00:05:33:18 - 00:05:38:07
Speaker 3
However many years later, let's not do the math. So, so that was.

00:05:38:13 - 00:05:44:21
Speaker 1
You say, be present. One of the things that J.G. and I always say is you don't have to be perfect, but you have to be present.

00:05:45:10 - 00:05:48:08
Speaker 3
So I love that note number one. Oh.

00:05:48:16 - 00:05:50:01
Speaker 1
Man, we're supposed to be taking notes on.

00:05:50:01 - 00:05:55:11
Speaker 2
Yeah, he's one of us now. We're doing the same thing here. We got pens and papers.

00:05:55:12 - 00:05:56:24
Speaker 1
I know, I know, I know. So.

00:05:57:00 - 00:06:11:22
Speaker 2
So that's drafted the first time. So did you feel the same way the second time you went through the process? Did you were you able to enjoy it a little bit more and. Sorry, I wanted to was it your first year JUCO, you got drafted and then when you're at the four year school or what was that? I missed that part.

00:06:12:03 - 00:06:39:03
Speaker 3
Yeah. So it was my second year JUCO, which I snapped my glove hand, pinky and half, two weeks before the draft. And so that did not help the stock and everything so I got drafted in the 29th round by the Indians my sophomore year to JUCO and decided to go Division one to Cal State Northridge and got drafted after my junior year there by the Rays.

00:06:40:05 - 00:07:20:20
Speaker 3
And I wish I could say yes. I learned so much from the first time and enjoyed it the second time. But there was there were a lot more expectations that second year, the junior year, because I went D one, I did very well at the beginning of the year. My velocity was special that year and the coach decided after six weeks and five quality starts to go a different direction, which we can dove into that as well at some point about controlling what you could control because it sent me into a angry, dark mental place like I've done no thing, but compete and put this put ourselves in a position to win.

00:07:20:20 - 00:07:43:11
Speaker 3
But one of the younger guys on the bump and so my draft stock kind of fell that year from top ten rounds to middle ten rounds and then all the way down to 31st round that year. And it was a better experience because I did enjoy it a little more because yeah, the previous year I just wasn't present and so I was more present for the Rays.

00:07:43:11 - 00:08:02:22
Speaker 3
I was more I had a better relationship with that scout and but still didn't enjoy it as much as I probably should have ultimately decided not to sign with them then and get my degree, which was a reverse and arguments I wanted to sign earlier when I had been drafted. My dad wanted me to get an education after my junior year.

00:08:03:07 - 00:08:12:21
Speaker 3
He's like, You need to sign. And I was like, I can see the degree. The degree is right there. I'm getting my degree, and if baseball is still there, I'll pursue it then. So that's kind of how that process went.

00:08:16:09 - 00:08:36:06
Speaker 1
Good for you for recognizing that, because a lot of people don't. They get blinded by the light. Right? And now let's go back because you're on it right now and I think you said like the controlling, the controllable, you faced something that was out of your control. Somebody made a decision that was affecting your outcome. How did you handle that in that moment?

00:08:36:06 - 00:08:45:06
Speaker 1
And if you could go back in time to that moment, would you handle it differently? Or if you had to give yourself that advice for that moment, what would you do?

00:08:46:19 - 00:09:09:22
Speaker 3
If I could go back and do it differently, I would. I would the way I handled it was frustration. F the coach. How the hell could you make that decision based on the results that have been put up and based on the other individuals that were taking those starts, going into a Big West play, you know, Cal State Fullerton, Long Beach State's like we were getting ready to roll.

00:09:11:13 - 00:09:29:22
Speaker 3
And so I just kind of went into this negative space instead of let's just keep working out. Like if I can tell myself today that 21 year old like control what you can control, be the best guy at the workouts, control your bullpens, show the coach in your relief appearances that you deserve to get another start, stuff like that.

00:09:31:13 - 00:10:00:12
Speaker 3
But I wasn't thinking like that. I was more just bulldog pissed off thinking about maybe leaving the program after the season and yeah, it was, it was just one of those life experiences that I wish I would have made an adjustment in the moment. But at the same time, it's such a valuable lesson for the athletes that I teach now and the young people that I get to mentor to give them a concrete example that I lived, that I was in the arena.

00:10:00:16 - 00:10:10:05
Speaker 3
I felt this, I should have done this. And it's more of a powerful lesson at least I hope to think so, too, to the athletes and kids that I teach now.

00:10:10:23 - 00:10:34:10
Speaker 1
Event response outcome, right? Event plus response equals the outcome so it was just that the response, if you could have just changed that response slightly, the outcome might have been a little bit different for you. But another thing that we like to say is things happen for you, not to you. And I'm sure like looking at your resume and your involvement now, you went through that and look where it's gotten you now.

00:10:34:12 - 00:10:57:00
Speaker 1
Like you're you're, I would say, a mental health, not just promoter. I don't even know. I don't want to understate it. You're you're an advocate. You're you're living it and you're helping others deal with it in sport, which is probably underdone. And we're just starting now to kind of get to the we're at the forefront of that. And do you feel that that experience has guided you towards where you are now?

00:10:57:18 - 00:11:30:22
Speaker 3
100%. And a large part a large part of me thinks that if the coach would have started me the entire season and I got drafted, let's say, in the eighth round and signed for X amount of dollars and went into the minor league lifestyle with the mental maturity I had at that point, I think I would have had failure in a different way, whether it would have been alcohol abuse or throwing the money away and stories that I saw from former teammates that just wanted to sign, didn't give a crap about education and then spent their signing bonus on a truck and tattoos.

00:11:30:22 - 00:12:03:18
Speaker 3
And then they were working at let's do another Costco reference they were working at Costco two years later. There's nothing wrong with working at Costco about it. But yeah, so I think there would have been incredible challenges if everything would have went right. It forced me into self-exploration, emotional maturity, it kind of the timeline was exactly what it was supposed to be to get me to jigger sports, to get me to breaking down to my rock bottom, mental health wise and having to get help and stuff like that.

00:12:05:08 - 00:12:16:23
Speaker 2
I, I keep forgetting that we have listeners because in my head I'm like, Yeah, oh yeah, well that's great. That's some good stuff. But I'm like, OK, I get ask Margaret. I got it because I'm just absorbed in is.

00:12:16:23 - 00:12:18:08
Speaker 1
A great spectator in our own.

00:12:20:19 - 00:12:48:01
Speaker 2
But everything you said, like you had to go through it. And as unfortunate as it was to go through it at the time, it's the maturity that you have now and and maturity is the right word, the wisdom. Let's go with wisdom. Maturity like when you're a little bit, you know, let's just go with the wisdom you have now to reflect back on those times and say like I learned so much and I'm glad I went through this because no pressure, no diamonds, that concept, no pressure, no diamonds.

00:12:48:12 - 00:13:10:21
Speaker 2
But now you're having to work with, with, with athletes around you, OK? So you can give them all the advice you want in the world. Like Mark and I are both educators are both high school teachers. So, you know, we can spit out as much wisdom as we want, but sometimes it's still one year out the other. How are you dealing with that with some of the people you work with like you're like, hey, man, I've been in the trenches.

00:13:11:02 - 00:13:17:10
Speaker 2
This is what's going to be like, this is what I did. This is what I would tell you to do, and then turn around and do the total opposite.

00:13:17:10 - 00:13:18:22
Speaker 1
We does that ever happened?

00:13:19:16 - 00:14:01:16
Speaker 3
Oh, yeah, that happens. It happens quite a bit. And I think the adjustment I've made when I'm speaking to an athlete individually is like, I want them to feel what I'm saying more than hear what I'm saying, right? Because if you can convey the pain that you experienced by not making the adjustment in the moment, it might hit them a little more than if you're just your tone's not great or your body language or your mannerisms with your face doesn't convey to them, like how badly you wish you could go back and take every pitch seriously in the bullpen, or maybe try to communicate with that coach, which is a whole nother podcast.

00:14:01:16 - 00:14:29:07
Speaker 3
Don't think that would have gone well. But, um, and I think that in terms of leadership, and coaching and teaching, that's where developing a relationship based on trust, genuine care for one another, then there's more of an opportunity for that athlete to digest. It doesn't mean they're still not going to go out the door in the other, but you can maybe build on those experience quicker too, where if you give them advice, they go out to the next performance and they make the same mistake.

00:14:29:07 - 00:14:54:16
Speaker 3
And then you come back and you're building on an emotional interaction before. I think that can be be a little more like you get a little more return on your investment. But I think that's kind of the the million dollar question we're all trying to figure out as leaders, coaches, teachers, parents is what's going to resonate. And all I know for sure is that one size fits all approach does not work.

00:14:54:16 - 00:14:59:16
Speaker 3
That's the only thing I figured out so far. Is that each individual is going to learn and respond a little differently.

00:15:00:01 - 00:15:03:05
Speaker 2
The only absolute is there is no absolutes.

00:15:04:02 - 00:15:04:09
Speaker 3
Yeah.

00:15:04:24 - 00:15:09:15
Speaker 1
And it's we've just finished talking to Jeff Krochmal about the brain game mood.

00:15:09:15 - 00:15:10:03
Speaker 2
Like, you know.

00:15:10:21 - 00:15:30:03
Speaker 1
And it's just like it's such a we could have gone to probably three or 4 hours talking about in there, talking about how developing young athletes now has to start without even stepping on the field. And we're all baseball guys are. So let's use baseball as our analogy before you even pick up a bat or glove or a ball.

00:15:30:03 - 00:15:52:05
Speaker 1
The first thing you need to have a good handle on is your sleep, your recovery, your rest, your nutrition, your hydration. And then you can look at the brain game about your your mood, where is your headspace, your maturity? Is does your mental maturity match your physical maturity, all that type of stuff. And then you could start developing skills, right?

00:15:52:11 - 00:16:14:08
Speaker 1
So that these are all this is why I was so excited about your podcast, because it's so relevant and it's so young. And there's people, especially men. And my wife and I were walking the other day and there was a sign taped to a light post. And 80% of suicides are men, right? Like, like in. So here we are.

00:16:14:15 - 00:16:37:22
Speaker 1
And even though our message is trying to get out to as many people as possible, what you're talking about in sport and what you're talking about in your own experience, like real words, anxiety, depression, panic attacks. So let's go there. Can we go there right now? And let's talk about that and what is it? And then at the same time, role in like when you say you're working with athletes fill us in on that, all of this stuff.

00:16:38:19 - 00:17:06:22
Speaker 3
Yeah. So I think first to address the last question of working with athletes, I get the blessing of working with athletes through Giger Sports and through Athletes Against Anxiety and depression. And as you can imagine, imagine the initial needs of a consultation from Giger Sports or triple-A D are completely different because they're coming most of the time with a mental health illness issue battle that they're dealing with.

00:17:08:07 - 00:17:41:07
Speaker 3
And then Giger Sports, How can my arm get stronger? I want to throw harder. This and that but a lot of times we end up in the same place, which is the exact topics that you brought up anxiety, depression, where's my mind during performance and stuff like that? And I think that statistic about men, I heard a great sentence the other day that was anxiety and depression is just unmet needs and individuals like you have some sort of unmet need that you're either not conveying, you're afraid to express or just isn't being provided to you.

00:17:41:07 - 00:18:05:04
Speaker 3
And I think with men we're afraid and this is a blanket statement that obviously isn't true for everyone, but we're afraid to share some of our needs because of stereotype types of masculinity or, you know, being strong, being robotic, don't show emotions, don't cry different things like that. And I think when you bottle that up for a long enough period of time, it can become overwhelming.

00:18:05:15 - 00:18:31:19
Speaker 3
You don't feel like you have anywhere to turn. And we get unfortunate statistics like that. And I posted a tweet yesterday. I was asked an amazing question. It's like, what made you reach out for help when you finally did? Because the distance between first panic attack for me and reaching out for help was six years. So that's how terrified I was about expressing my need for help with my mental health as I dealt with it.

00:18:32:08 - 00:18:50:20
Speaker 3
With alcohol and with hiding it for six years. And when she asked me the question, it just hit me. It was like, well, what made me reach out for help is I had basically two options and I've named a third. But Option A was commit suicide. Option B was keep drinking until I die, and option C was to get help.

00:18:51:00 - 00:19:18:21
Speaker 3
So when I sat back at my rock bottom and went to choose one of the three options I chose Seek Help. And it changed my life, which is what made me want to start and try to help others shorten that gap. Mine was six years, but shorten the gap between issue and solution and try to give people permission to express their unmet needs, which can help you obviously as a human being, as an athlete, and in so many facets of life.

00:19:22:02 - 00:19:23:13
Speaker 2
So letting this all sink in.

00:19:26:22 - 00:19:53:21
Speaker 1
I think again and sometimes as coaches, I'm going to say it as a coach, it's taken. I'm pushing 50 years old and I've been in education and sport my entire life. It's a hard topic to bridge. No matter how much professional development and training you get. There has to be, I think, a want as a coach to talk to a kid.

00:19:53:21 - 00:20:17:13
Speaker 1
Are you OK? You don't like the idea. So I'm assuming that let's let's dial it back here when your coach and you were in your mind performing well and your coach such as Simon and sends you down a dark hole, I'm going to risk assuming that that coach did not reach out to you and say, hey, you're giggling because you know where I'm going with this, right?

00:20:17:13 - 00:20:42:21
Speaker 1
Like they did not have the depth of character or the desire to care about you as an individual athlete because you a commodity. And I know and I'm going to say it, there's a lot of coaches, especially as we get into the high levels, just because you're a high level coach, does it make you a good coach and it doesn't make you qualified to deal with these difficult things that athletes are actually experiencing?

00:20:43:15 - 00:20:44:10
Speaker 1
Am I right? In that?

00:20:45:06 - 00:21:17:10
Speaker 3
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And I was giggling. There was no relationship established where like the commodity thing is a great way of putting it. And it was an environment of fear and yeah, there was no there was no discussion about anything that I can remember in the entire process there. And you just had 35 men coming to practice every day, and it was the most terrifying part of our day.

00:21:17:16 - 00:21:48:02
Speaker 3
We'd rather go to class than go to practice. And it's like, that's supposed to be the best time of your life. And, you know, we had some great relationships because I think it bonded the team a little more because the embarrass. Yeah, treacherous and everything but yeah, it would have been interesting at the time because I can like right now you can see me staring up, I can feel in the bullpen after my Friday start on a Saturday morning and coming over and just we're going with Billy.

00:21:48:09 - 00:22:06:15
Speaker 3
From now on, you're going to the pen and yeah, that's about it. And I walked over to my two teammates that were my kind of my dudes that we'd always throw together and everything's like, What do you say to that? I'm not starting anymore. And they were like, Come on, bro. That was the Friday night guy. And they're like, Come on, man, I'm serious.

00:22:06:15 - 00:22:14:21
Speaker 3
I'm not I'm not starting my like what? I think I don't know. And then so then I'm left to my own devices to try to process it all.

00:22:14:21 - 00:22:21:17
Speaker 1
And now how old were you at that? Can you give us an age? Because I know you went to junior college, so how old were you then? I'm going to guess 20.

00:22:21:18 - 00:22:26:22
Speaker 3
One 2121 now. Yeah. Just old enough to buy some.

00:22:27:12 - 00:22:27:19
Speaker 1
Beer.

00:22:28:23 - 00:22:31:03
Speaker 3
Medication. Yeah.

00:22:31:23 - 00:22:54:10
Speaker 1
Yeah. And like I said before, it's tough because, one, teachers aren't necessarily comfortable dealing with it. Like, OK, maybe I need to send this person to a guidance counselor. Coaches, we're not necessarily equipped with the idea of it's uncomfortable. You don't want to, you know, like there's so many things and I love. You've got hashtag, right? Carried the stigma.

00:22:54:10 - 00:23:08:17
Speaker 1
Like, we got so many good things that are you're you're propagating publicly. I think this message needs to go out globally to as many people as we possibly can get it out to because and I love the idea of you got a mental health manual. Like talk to us a little bit about that.

00:23:09:10 - 00:23:45:10
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. That came um, COVID, uh, when COVID hit and we had more time than we've ever had on our hands. Um, I just had this need to kind of continue to put message out there and whatnot and my mom actually my birth mom, which that's another part of my story. I have a step mom and my birth mom and I were on the phone and I was just telling her about it and how I felt I needed a tangible product as well as like the resource of free therapy and stuff and stuff like that.

00:23:45:10 - 00:24:08:10
Speaker 3
And she's like, if you thought about writing like a manual of how to take care of your mental health, then it was just like, boom, light bulb went off. And so the mental health manual came about and it's very 20, 2120, 22 in the sense that it's short, it's organized in sections and a what, why, how approach what is a mental health resource, why can it help you and how to implement it into your daily life?

00:24:08:10 - 00:24:24:10
Speaker 3
And then there's a companion journal that goes along with each section that yeah, kind of helps you take pen to paper. And if you're a little worried about therapy, you can almost do self therapy with your own journaling comfort of your own home with a pen and kind of get to work on, on your brain.

00:24:25:11 - 00:24:42:24
Speaker 1
We always push people there like we're pushing journaling. We push for leaders and coaches and anybody. Actually, there's no limit to who should journal, but JJ makes it part of his priorities as Scribe, right? Like how do you say Gigi, what's your your tag line for that?

00:24:43:23 - 00:25:03:00
Speaker 2
I just the five things in the morning I you caught me off guard and just right in there but scribing. Yes. Scribblings in there. And one thing affirmations exercise scribing like those are the meat and potatoes of the morning B am routine p.m. routine, those types of things. But I want to sorry and I'm going to rewind a little bit.

00:25:04:04 - 00:25:40:20
Speaker 2
So you're going to this process. So I took a time where because the ABC which is amazing and you're on ABC that's awesome. I'm kind of jealous to be honest with you. So I watch the last ten years. So for those of our listeners so what happens in and at the ABC the coach who wins the Division One College World Series the previous year is the keynote speaker the following year I watch for the last ten years and you'd think things are different like, oh, you know, this throwing program and this is our strategy with heading your know, every single coach comes back to communication communication.

00:25:41:01 - 00:26:01:12
Speaker 2
I can't even say it. Let me try that again. Communication and relationships. So I you know, like I'm just thinking back and the unfortunate situation you're putting in, but I'm saying unfortunate. What's fortunate for a lot of people that you're put in that situation and hopefully you understand what I'm saying. What I'm telling you that it's unfortunate but fortunate for some that you were put in that situation.

00:26:02:19 - 00:26:25:24
Speaker 2
And I'm not saying maybe some people go to the ABC and it's maybe it's smoke and mirrors. Let's just say it's not for argument's sake, but communication, communication, communication. In fact, Mark was saying he was talking about it. It's uncomfortable for some of us as coaches to have those conversations. And Mark is like, are you OK? Some people won't even ask that question because they're not armed with What am I supposed to say if they say, I'm having issues with ABC?

00:26:26:08 - 00:26:47:08
Speaker 2
Like some of the coaches aren't armed with this so I'm trying to think from a coach's perspective, I'm playing devil's advocate on this one. Mark, my turn to play devil's advocate, what is it like? I guess trying you're doing a good job with it. Like what are we doing to arm coaches with the right information to have a more nurturing, I guess I don't know if that is even sounds right anyways.

00:26:47:15 - 00:26:58:05
Speaker 2
Environment for your athletes because I really feel if it's a more nurturing environment, you're going to get more out of your athletes that way instead of holding like basically a gun to their head. And this is how we're going to roll basically.

00:26:58:20 - 00:27:20:14
Speaker 3
Yeah. And I think one of the misconceptions when we say nurturing, like some coaches or people think soft, right? And have to be soft, nurturing means care. Do you care for your players and their development as human beings? You know, because if you do and they truly know that, then all of your lessons are going to be retained way more.

00:27:20:19 - 00:27:30:10
Speaker 3
If somebody I think can or bizarre and I always butcher the quote, the exact quote, but it was your players will not care about what you're teaching them until they know that you care about them.

00:27:30:19 - 00:27:32:08
Speaker 2
Well, you hit the nail on the head. That's what it is.

00:27:33:00 - 00:28:02:20
Speaker 3
And so it's like nurturing doesn't mean soft. Nurturing means you establish a baseline of genuine care for one another around the goal. What are we trying to achieve together? But at the end of the day, I care about you. And yeah, so I think, what are we doing to arm coaches with the right tools? I think like one of the blessings of COVID, even though there was tons of downside, obviously was the just explosion of Zoom.

00:28:03:03 - 00:28:24:09
Speaker 3
And I've been able to travel the world speaking to groups, teams that I would have never had the opportunity to. But because of Zoom, I can be right here in L.A. and speaking to someone in New Jersey. I spoke in Canada, actually, and it's just a three part presentation I do on mental health culture. And what I tell the coaches is you don't have to know.

00:28:24:10 - 00:28:46:16
Speaker 3
You don't have to have a PhD in psychology. You don't even have to know how to implement the mental health resource. Your player just needs to know that you care and that you're going to point them in the right direction. Whether that's a team therapist, if you're lucky enough that a program that has that or you establish some online resources that you know, you can send them a link to their cell phone or whatever it is.

00:28:46:16 - 00:29:12:08
Speaker 3
But I think that's one of the biggest fears with a coach is like, well, I don't want to have to get an education on mental health or psychology or any of this stuff, and that's not what you have to do at all. And then the three things are prioritize mental health. That's one of them, is find the resources you can give your players The second thing is daily practice, whether it's meditation, sharing a mental health story, just making it a part of your culture.

00:29:12:08 - 00:29:29:07
Speaker 3
And then number three, which is what we've been talking about now for the last about 10 minutes. And it's this big buildup and everybody's all excited. What's number three going to be? It's going to be and it's be a human be a human being. Don't forget to be human and remember what it was like, what you felt like as a player.

00:29:29:21 - 00:29:52:16
Speaker 3
Because a lot of times we go into coaching and it's like we were never players or we forget about how we felt when a coach taught us a certain way and we forget how powerful our leaders actions body language, actual verbiage that they use to us, how much that affected our life. And if we could remind ourselves that on a daily basis we'll be such better leaders.

00:29:53:01 - 00:30:06:11
Speaker 3
So much more human with the players we're interacting with and remembering that it's about developing humans first. And if you develop better humans, you're going to be better in the win last column too, which let's not fool ourselves. That's how you keep your job is winning games. Yeah.

00:30:07:05 - 00:30:23:01
Speaker 2
Well, China saw you to put you on the spot here, so get ready. So let's say how would you have to handle that situation differently if you were your coach in that situation? We're talking about right now, how would you handle it?

00:30:23:01 - 00:30:25:00
Speaker 1
Well, I'm excited. That's a good question, Coach.

00:30:25:08 - 00:30:51:05
Speaker 3
That's a that's a first. That's a I've never been asked that question. So if we're putting me in the exact situation as that coach where I'm taking my Friday night starter and moving him to the bullpen, so he's moving. He's not starting Friday. He's not starting Saturday, he's not starting Sunday. He's not starting Tuesday. So now you just told him basically with the result that he's not even one of your top four pitchers because he's go into the bullpen.

00:30:51:22 - 00:31:17:13
Speaker 3
So my number one goal in that Saturday conversation in the bullpen is China. Since I'm the coach now, I'm attacking myself over China's over here. Now, China is going to know the exact reason. He's going to have the clearest definition of the why and he's going to have what I expect from him from this point forward. And he's going to have the other outcome of here.

00:31:17:13 - 00:31:33:15
Speaker 3
If you want to be back to the starting rotation here's what I need you to be doing. So I'm going to give him three. I'm going to give him present. Why? I'm going to give him expectations of where he's going to be in my bullpen. And I'm going to give him the expectation of if you do these things, you can be back like, hey, this is a definite like this is going to be the whole season.

00:31:33:19 - 00:31:50:08
Speaker 3
We need you. You're a vital part. You know, I love you convey the care first and foremost so that I continue to hear the other three things because as soon as he started talking and said he was because I didn't care about him and I didn't respect him and I knew he didn't respect me or care about me because he didn't care about any of his players.

00:31:51:18 - 00:32:12:13
Speaker 3
As soon as he says the result, you're not starting anymore. I didn't hear anything else. I don't care because there was no care relationship established and so, yeah, I would convey the why present moment, present role, and to get you back to where you want to be. And I love you like I know this is tough, but I'm here with you and if you have any questions, my door's always open if you want to discuss it with me.

00:32:14:01 - 00:32:16:17
Speaker 3
But it was not a mutual back and forth like that and it wasn't.

00:32:16:22 - 00:32:35:13
Speaker 1
And I'm also going to take it a step further and to my previous situation with this coach and say this is probably not a coach who you could have went to their office and say, Hey, coach, I think you might have made a mistake. Can we talk about I'm going to assume that you did not have that relationship and he didn't have that relationship with any of his players.

00:32:36:08 - 00:32:47:14
Speaker 1
No, because it sounds like there is a culture of fear, an environment of fear which is never, never going to be a long term successful plan for a coach.

00:32:48:04 - 00:33:16:14
Speaker 3
Correct? Yeah, very fear driven. And we had a four hour meeting on day one, like introduction to the program and the sentence was used. There's an open door policy. You can always come to my office and talk to me. And the one or two players that did do that didn't seem to feel very much after that and transferred and if I would have gone in there and said, I think you made a mistake, my face would probably look a little different today because I'd have scars all over and you beat the crap out of me.

00:33:18:03 - 00:33:21:05
Speaker 2
The remember we had Zach Sorenson on you familiar? Zach Sorenson.

00:33:21:23 - 00:33:22:14
Speaker 3
I've heard the name.

00:33:22:19 - 00:33:39:14
Speaker 2
Yeah, he's a mental performance coach right now with the Braves. So he talked about using the same situation. I think he was with the Angels at the INS. I remember at the time in the minor leagues, and he'd watch the scouting reports. He was just educating like they'd read scouting reports on every single player that they were playing against.

00:33:40:02 - 00:33:58:12
Speaker 2
And he asked his coach, he said, Do you mind putting a scouting report on me? The guys like, OK. So he puts them together. And Zach said, this thing was like two. I don't know how many pages. A lot of pages said before he gave it to me, he said, Do you think you can handle this? And Zach says, Yeah, man, I can handle this.

00:33:58:12 - 00:34:13:20
Speaker 2
So he goes through it because he said, if you're Zach said to his coach that if you're being honest with me, you've just given me the ticket how to get to the big leagues. You just give it so that that's how Zach took it because it was a mutual like they respected each other. Hey, man, I'm just giving you some honesty here.

00:34:14:10 - 00:34:30:05
Speaker 2
And Zach looked at it like, not like, man, you know, I'm useless and I'm terrible at Bunting, and I, you know, I bad on my backhand. It was just you have now given me the key and now how to get to the big leagues. I'm thanking you for that. And I flip the script, and it was good, but he was, I guess, prepared mentally for that at that time.

00:34:30:05 - 00:34:41:15
Speaker 2
But I like what you're saying because that's basically what you would have told China at that time as a coach. You would give him all the tools to be successful instead of stripping his self-esteem and everything else away.

00:34:42:05 - 00:35:12:12
Speaker 3
Unlike one of your other guests, I think it was Courtney that you had on talked about how he's the type of player that doesn't want any sugar, I think is exactly what I said. I don't want any sugar on it. Tell me what you mean, because my goal was to get to the absolute top. And that's the way I am, is I would so rather have blunt, hard truth than either zero communication, which is what I had there or I've had in some other places sugar, sugar, sugar.

00:35:12:12 - 00:35:32:01
Speaker 3
You're so great. You know, 99% of you is awesome. But let's talk about this 1%. And it's like you lose me with that 99%. Like, what do I need to work on? Let's go there. And that's kind of the thing with Zach and Courtney about like we're trying to get to the same place, which is that ultimate performance, ultimate efficiency.

00:35:32:01 - 00:35:50:06
Speaker 3
And so if there's that mutual care and mutual communication, it can you just cut out a lot of the indecision and the time right if you do it right once and you're set. I think that's the John Wooden quote Allen tweets all the time, which is if you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over right?

00:35:50:20 - 00:35:52:14
Speaker 3
So you do it right once, then you're good to go.

00:35:52:23 - 00:36:10:16
Speaker 2
I'm the worst. Like, I'm like because of court. I became I'm not, I'm not. But like a carpenter. I'm not. I'm terrible at all that stuff. But having friends that are way better than me at any of this stuff and his thing is like, you know, let's measure twice and cut once, right? That was but it it's the same concept.

00:36:10:23 - 00:36:19:09
Speaker 2
But I'm just, you know, just for our listeners, I'm diversifying myself in the field outside of athletics. If anybody needs any home renovations, please do not reach out to me.

00:36:19:13 - 00:36:21:16
Speaker 1
The Rock and Suns construction.

00:36:22:19 - 00:36:23:04
Speaker 3
Yeah.

00:36:23:15 - 00:36:25:05
Speaker 2
Oh, boy. That house will fall quick.

00:36:25:18 - 00:36:51:19
Speaker 1
No, I want to go back to something that you said, and I was just like, it's such a simple concept, but yet I think we just kind of, you know, keep it at arm's length is we're mental health culture, right? And it's like just that culture of everything. Now we're talking about changing culture and creating culture and and one of the aims of our podcast and a lot of the speaking engagements that Gigi and I do, it's about building better team culture and being better leaders and culture in the workplace and stuff, all that stuff.

00:36:52:00 - 00:37:11:03
Speaker 1
But the idea of mental health, you can make that part of your team and make it part of your daily routine. Like you said, it's simple. The you're three steps to doing it. It's amazing. Why are we not doing more of this and why is this even make in can't? I'm not even sure this is part of like coaching curriculum stuff.

00:37:11:03 - 00:37:31:03
Speaker 1
Like we talk about sexual harassment and we talk about all those things that are at the forefront and racism. But at the same time, mental health it affects everybody and is present. And we have people and athletes that are dealing with angst. Let's talk about athletes because we're talking sports, but like anxiety and panic attacks, like being an athlete and being in a situation, you get a penalty.

00:37:31:06 - 00:37:41:07
Speaker 1
We're not equipping these athletes to deal with those. And I love the idea of of just saying mental create mental health culture in your daily routine.

00:37:42:03 - 00:38:00:03
Speaker 3
Right. And I think I think the reason it's not as prevalent in curriculum like the CEO of Jager Sports, Jim Badger, who works on the other side of that wall, usually has two boys and has gotten pulled into coaching almost every year. I love it. It makes me laugh every time because he's like, I'm not coaching this year.

00:38:00:03 - 00:38:19:19
Speaker 3
And then he's a coach, baseball, soccer, everything. But, you know, I get to see what they send them from the Ayso the soccer league down here and the concussion videos he has to watch and all this stuff. And it's great, you know, it's all but like you said, what are we providing the coaches, the players, to create any sort of mental health culture?

00:38:19:19 - 00:38:40:17
Speaker 3
And if you don't, we're just adding to the fear and ignorance to when something comes up. You're terrified to share because you haven't talked about it, so you don't know if it's OK to talk about. Whereas with a simple five minute, ten minute conversation at the beginning of a season, like, Hey, guys, who here knows what anxiety is or depression is or panic attacks?

00:38:40:17 - 00:38:58:16
Speaker 3
And if you have if you have a brave enough coach to maybe share if they've ever dealt with it or they know somebody that's dealt with it, then from day one, step one, the kids, the culture, the team knows that it's OK to talk about it. Right? And then all of a sudden that's step one of the culture.

00:38:58:16 - 00:39:16:21
Speaker 3
But one of my biggest dreams before I'm off this Earth is for sure in athletics to create some sort of curriculum that's very basic, easy to implement, where mental health just is talked about, like physical health. You would not judge your player for spraining their ankle. So why are we judging them if they have a sprained ankle in their head?

00:39:17:08 - 00:39:38:21
Speaker 3
Right. So I want that in sports. But then I also don't understand why in school we all remember P.E. physical education, and you wear those tacky uniforms and you go out and do push ups and everything. But I don't remember learning too much about like sports or I mean, you go out, you play a little football and stuff like that.

00:39:38:21 - 00:40:06:07
Speaker 3
But mental education would be incredible in schools just for all walks of life, not just athletics, but if you taught just basic fundamentals of how, you know, like you said, those things you were talking about, about one of your previous guests with sleep, nutrition, all of that stuff. And just how to take care of your brain because my first panic attack in 2009, I pulled off the highway because I was driving at the time and I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the emergency room.

00:40:06:19 - 00:40:26:04
Speaker 3
That's how uneducated I was on a panic attack because I thought there's no way my brain's creating all these physical sensations. And I kind of had to educate myself in silence and hide it from the scouts for six years because I didn't want them to know there was any sort of mental weakness within me.

00:40:27:22 - 00:40:51:01
Speaker 2
Like, that's so if you go out your coach and you go out and say to your athletes, I'm giving you an open environment if you guys have issues to talk about, and then I go start speaking about the issues I dealt with are those signs of weakness? Isn't that a parent going to say, How the hell am I turning my kid over to this guy?

00:40:52:05 - 00:41:19:09
Speaker 3
I I would argue, no. I would say that just depends on the individual's receptiveness to what that is. And if they've never dealt with it, because in my own life, I've had people that have never dealt with it and have not shown compassion and have called me weak. And you're just using excuses and stuff like that. And so that might be a little tough if the parents never dealt with it.

00:41:19:09 - 00:41:28:24
Speaker 3
And yeah, they don't think you're a good enough leader, but to me, as a parent, it would show strength, vulnerability, stuff that I'd want my kid to learn from an early age leadership.

00:41:29:19 - 00:41:30:15
Speaker 1
But leadership.

00:41:31:07 - 00:41:32:15
Speaker 3
Right leadership.

00:41:32:16 - 00:41:33:13
Speaker 1
And vulnerability.

00:41:34:00 - 00:42:06:09
Speaker 3
But I love that argument and I love you bringing it up because it makes me think in a different way where challenging that would the parents say anything to you afterwards? Like, what was that about? Why are you talking to my kid about anxiety and panic attacks? Then that gives me an opportunity one on one. But if you're in a league with limited kids and that parent has one of the good kids and you share and then you get an email that night and it says, Little Johnny's not on your team anymore because the parent didn't believe in what you said that's I guess, just the nature of the beast.

00:42:06:09 - 00:42:14:06
Speaker 3
You know, they say, like we say all the time of Jager Sports, that's the cost of doing business. You're not going to please everybody. And if you're pleasing everybody, you're probably doing something wrong anyway.

00:42:14:12 - 00:42:15:00
Speaker 2
Oh, man.

00:42:15:16 - 00:42:37:09
Speaker 3
So I would hope that it would create an opportunity for a conversation with the naysayers because again, in my personal life, I have one story that just rips my heart out every time I think about it, because this person was very close to me, relative cousin and the way they responded to one of my panic attacks, we haven't talked in six years since that day.

00:42:37:09 - 00:43:16:17
Speaker 3
So it can create like just ignorance and a lack of compassion can create not only a situation like I'm in, but if I was in a worse spot and I was thinking about suicide or something and I got that response from the outside to make me feel even worse, I think that's where we get into some really dangerous places where the lack of education being ignorant and not showing compassion just because you don't understand, I think that leads to a lot of societal problems, not just mental health, but now I can't tell in the world right now, but it feels like there's a little political friction and not understanding people's views and different things.

00:43:16:24 - 00:43:32:12
Speaker 2
It's a little bit. Little bit, but that's what I hear. The number one thing people are scared of in the world and I'll ask people like, What are you scared of? Like, what do you think it is? People like snakes and sharks and stuff. The number one thing in the world people are scared of is the unknown is the unknown.

00:43:33:02 - 00:43:44:12
Speaker 2
You don't know about something, so then you throw judgment on it and you know why somebody's scared of the dark? What's what's that? I don't know. It's just it's scary. You don't know anything about it. Yeah, and it's that concept.

00:43:44:19 - 00:44:12:09
Speaker 1
And who am I to judge you on your experiences, right? And, like, why am I an expert, like, and I'm sure like your coach. And one of the things that we say is the problem is the person is not the problem. The problem is the problem, right? So for you is not a reflection on you, China. It was a reflection on an event that was happening within you, in your mind and all that stuff.

00:44:12:09 - 00:44:30:05
Speaker 1
So again, like a sprained ankle. And I think it was back to the concussions. And I want to say this and get this out because I think it's important to parents and coaches to hear this. I mean, in our football program, we have 100 kids. We'll carry 17 to 20 kids on a baseball team. I'll carry 20 kids on a hockey team.

00:44:31:02 - 00:44:59:19
Speaker 1
I've had 50 kids on a track team and I would guarantee you I'd have a far higher percentage of those athletes and students struggling with mental health disorders versus a concussion. But yet we spend thousands of hours and millions of dollars on concussion education, where now I think it's just a societal norm. Yeah, concussions are bad, you know, and we can identify, but like then we learn as coaches, too.

00:44:59:19 - 00:45:15:01
Speaker 1
Hey, you might have an event that caused a concussion. You might bang your head. We get it. Let's get it checked. Hey, are you OK? Are you OK? You're having some tough times right now. Like, are it doesn't plug in for me. I'm struggling with that as an educator and as a coach.

00:45:15:01 - 00:45:19:03
Speaker 2
Man, you just you just sit down at the park and that's just really the way you explain that. I was like.

00:45:19:18 - 00:45:20:09
Speaker 1
Oh, this is me.

00:45:20:09 - 00:45:21:20
Speaker 2
I makes a lot of sense because.

00:45:21:20 - 00:45:50:01
Speaker 1
People are scared. And it's and I think the other thing China I don't know if you're you're aware with it, but in Canada, every February, we do. It's called Bill. Let's talk so bells like our big cell carrier, one of our big cell carriers here. And then they do a big push for the month where every hashtag of Bill let's talk and they donate money back to mental health initiatives but then it goes away and this is one of the things and I said this publicly to my class before I was like don't let it go away.

00:45:50:01 - 00:46:03:02
Speaker 1
One February and carry it on through March and April and June and all the way to next February. It shouldn't just be a phase, right? It should be because your mental health issues are going to still be there. Are we doing what we need to support people.

00:46:03:22 - 00:46:12:16
Speaker 2
Like I feel bad saying I make a joke of this and I really feel bad, but I have to like look at China. He's still Movember. Like, you know, he's he's carrying he's carrying it all the way around everybody.

00:46:12:24 - 00:46:14:17
Speaker 1
You're just jealous because he's sporting it.

00:46:16:00 - 00:46:19:17
Speaker 2
I had to, man. It was right there. I had to do. I'm so sorry. Everyone for the.

00:46:19:18 - 00:46:45:10
Speaker 3
Stache and keeping a hat on so that nobody can see my retreating hairline. I was running away. But to that point, what's interesting about that point, not the Movember point, because what's interesting about that is just this look at that thing. But about that point about it goes away we've done events like in arena events with the WNBA, Sparks, Arizona Diamondbacks.

00:46:46:22 - 00:47:11:01
Speaker 3
I was talking to the Braves the other day and they're like, what have you learned from the events we've done? And I said, for me as a sufferer, not as a businessman, as a sufferer, going into that arena that night, the way it's presented in the arena, in that stadium that night, mental health awareness night, right is like today we're bringing up something that's weird.

00:47:11:13 - 00:47:37:18
Speaker 3
And if you struggle with it, it's kind of your different and there's some resources that are available to you. But if you accept those in the arena tonight, you're kind of it's like that same sentiment that you were bringing up of this isn't normal was the feeling I got in those arenas. Right? And so everyone that I've tried to do now is it needs to just be how do we make mental health normal and cool, not different.

00:47:37:18 - 00:48:01:05
Speaker 3
And we're celebrating something unique, right? Because if we do breast cancer awareness night, we know we're like trying to raise awareness and funds for people that have the disease of cancer, of lost people with the disease of cancer, different things. And it's like mental health is something that affects every single one of us. You're either healthy and it's same thing as physical health is you have good physical health or bad physical health.

00:48:01:05 - 00:48:27:06
Speaker 3
So we can't keep presenting it as mental health when it's good is not talked about. But mental health when it's bad is you have an illness, you have a disorder, and come over here into this group of people that are suffering. We'll try to get your resources and that's kind of the the battle I'm fighting right now. And as a businessman, thinking in that spirit of like, how do we market it that way and how do we change that mood in the arena that night?

00:48:28:01 - 00:48:33:09
Speaker 3
So that's that point was just it was a great point because that's a struggle when you talk about mental health.

00:48:35:13 - 00:48:45:13
Speaker 1
I don't like it's we can go in so many directions, talk, OK, talk to us about hashtag be the change because I feel like this is a segue way for this.

00:48:46:13 - 00:49:10:20
Speaker 3
OK, perfect. So be the change. I think a lot of people know the saying from Gandhi, which is be the change you wish to see in the world. Right? There's a very famous Gandhi quote. And the the number one word for me in my life has kind of been action. I have a place in Arizona. I bought this little sign that just says action.

00:49:10:20 - 00:49:36:20
Speaker 3
And to me, every situation that arises in your life good, bad, indifferent, if you want it to change, you have to take action. Right. And so be the change to me is all about controlling what you can control. Going back to the first 3 minutes of this episode, what we were talking about, controlling what you can control and taking action towards the solution and you're not always going to get there.

00:49:37:05 - 00:50:01:04
Speaker 3
But the biggest mistake to me is staying right where you're at, not taking action to go get a result that you want. And so the reason I always kind of lean on that hashtag be the change is for mental health. You know, I've been I call it now 13 years after my first panic attack, the biggest blessing I've been blessed with is this mental health disorder.

00:50:01:08 - 00:50:32:02
Speaker 3
And I didn't always feel like that, but it's given me perspective on you can take any situation in your life and put a spin on it if you for lack of a better term or use it for something. And there's so many great stories in so many different arenas of people losing a limb or being born in a certain place and different things and then overcoming and for me be the change for mental health is everything that we're talking about today on the podcast is what actions can we take to make it normal?

00:50:32:04 - 00:51:00:19
Speaker 3
What actions can we take to have coaches have a five to ten minute pamphlet to change their culture with that team that season? What can we take and just the overall culture, not just athletics, to kind of just be the change we wish to see in the world for mental health because the suicide rates are too high the six years I lived and continue to live with right now with certain things that I struggle with, it's just not fun and it can get mentally exhausting at times.

00:51:00:19 - 00:51:34:14
Speaker 3
And you know, that's one message. I guess a little side tangent for the listeners or anybody watching is I present, you know, and speak in a great way about this journey and it's a blessing and all this stuff. That doesn't mean there are weeks when I want to sleep every day. That doesn't mean there's times when I go to Target and I can't check out after getting my groceries because a panic attack comes and I can't wait in line for 2 minutes that's 13 years into this journey where it's still a struggle daily.

00:51:34:23 - 00:51:45:18
Speaker 3
But my choice is can I look at that's an alarm, by the way, every day at 6:00 that says, You're amazing. You can do anything on my phone that just went off. Love it.

00:51:46:04 - 00:51:46:21
Speaker 1
Love it.

00:51:47:20 - 00:52:07:04
Speaker 3
It's I am choosing every time I have a panic attack to look at it in the moment as an observer, to try to take a lesson to either improve the next time I have a panic attack or to help somebody else with that experience. And that's kind of what be the change has become for my own mental health issue.

00:52:07:15 - 00:52:21:11
Speaker 3
Is this is something that I have. I'm not going to white knuckle fight it anymore. I'm going to embrace it. I'm going to try to learn from it, and I'm going to try to help other people because I can't control that it's here, even though I'd like to some days for sure.

00:52:22:05 - 00:52:30:18
Speaker 2
Trying to do me a favor, look at your phone and just start soak that in first. I just literally because if that's what you do in your daily routine, do it right now.

00:52:32:01 - 00:53:00:21
Speaker 1
Yeah, that's outstanding. And you know what? I am going to share that with everybody. That could be a show on its own because we just we just recorded a show. It hasn't been released yet, all about habits. And JJ and I use the habit share app and that's a habit. It's an affirmation. And JJ, that's another thing that you use too is like you do it and people need to be reminded you know, and if somebody else isn't going to remind you how awesome you are, maybe remind yourself how awesome you are.

00:53:00:21 - 00:53:21:04
Speaker 1
And I love that and I'm going to have my students and my athletes do that every day. And just reflect on on how fortunate it is that gratitude and that I am. I'm here. I'm here. And you're doing great stuff in the world, man. Like I'm inspired. I'm inspired by you and your vision and your efforts.

00:53:22:02 - 00:53:49:14
Speaker 3
Well, I appreciate that. And the reason that every day at 35 years old is because one of my biggest struggles is negative self-talk, worthlessness, kind of stuff from childhood stuff. And yeah, I have I mean, if I took my camera and showed I have my server too easy or hard well-trod path or road less travel on the top of my computer here I have it's not a big deal.

00:53:49:19 - 00:54:10:02
Speaker 3
The problem solver for customer service at Yoga Sports compete with yourself but root for others over there. I have my sort of life values on the wall. Just any way you can just remind yourself of what you want to live on a daily basis I think is so powerful and even saying that having them up doesn't mean I always see them, even though they're right in front of my face.

00:54:11:04 - 00:54:12:08
Speaker 3
Hmm. Wow.

00:54:12:18 - 00:54:32:09
Speaker 2
Forest through the trees. I was going to talk about. You mentioned it earlier because I like talking about that also is, you know, Mark and I are huge into the the mental performance world. However, you kind of you did a great job explaining it. It doesn't mean that there's not going to be any dips. That doesn't. But it's just how long.

00:54:32:09 - 00:54:54:10
Speaker 2
I think that's the thing right there is how long are you going to stay in those low moments, I guess. And that's kind of the definition I tell people of success in my opinion is getting up on more time than you fall when it's how long you're going to stay in the trenches and having the support, having quotes and words surrounding you, good people surrounding you makes it, you know, so you're not sleeping for a week.

00:54:54:10 - 00:55:11:22
Speaker 2
You maybe sleep in for two days or a day or three, but it's less than a week and then it's less than it was before. And it's that continual. But I think that's the when you have more of those conversation, not just like, hey, you need to do a better job with this and better job with this, but like it's going to get dark and it's going to get interesting sometimes.

00:55:14:19 - 00:55:35:19
Speaker 1
Now I also think about the idea of you're saying like, get back, get up one more time than you fall. But what about like I always say to kids, don't suffer in silence. Don't like if you need help. And it might not be today that you feel like coming, but know that I'm here and I'll understand you and be.

00:55:36:00 - 00:55:52:12
Speaker 2
But you're saying that and I get that. But like, what do you what about a listener who's like, they're just not a equipped coach yet or like they'll say it. But then like I said that earlier, how what are we doing for them? Like, you can tell me right now. So let's have this conversation right now. You not an athlete.

00:55:52:12 - 00:55:59:14
Speaker 2
You're the coaches have a conversation yeah. I have with me like Kate, tell me, how are things going? OK, if you need some.

00:55:59:21 - 00:56:29:22
Speaker 1
Yeah, like Gigi, like, hey, I understand things might be tough. You might be struggling and you seem frustrated or you're you're not yourself. Your spark is not there. You know, and we again, I've known you long enough. And if you're an athlete, especially if I've seen them since you know, grade nine and now it's grade 12 or if it's a, you know, a club player that I've seen all season long and you come in and it's like Kristen like referring back to our show with Kristen, and she said she had those four moments, four days.

00:56:30:01 - 00:56:31:12
Speaker 1
She was, she remembers.

00:56:31:12 - 00:56:31:19
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:56:32:06 - 00:56:35:13
Speaker 1
People notice, right? People notice and.

00:56:35:13 - 00:56:40:09
Speaker 2
But I think if you notice people if you take the time like you do because obviously you nurture athletes and.

00:56:40:09 - 00:56:42:12
Speaker 1
Not have necessarily I'm good at it all the time.

00:56:42:21 - 00:56:44:17
Speaker 2
No, nobody is nobody is but.

00:56:44:22 - 00:56:49:13
Speaker 1
But I'm trying to I'm trying to again it's mess you know four point on three point.

00:56:50:01 - 00:57:11:16
Speaker 2
But it's sitting down with a student who's sitting out one day in class you're just talking about whatever instead of the teacher who's sitting there saying, how can we to bring a uniform today, you know, go to the office. Bottom of it. Like to me, to be honest with you, I think that's the easy route because then it's just pass the buck to somebody else instead of sitting and having the courageous and a courageous conversation.

00:57:11:22 - 00:57:16:11
Speaker 2
What's up? How are things going yeah. Like it's that hard for real? Yeah.

00:57:16:15 - 00:57:44:18
Speaker 1
Yeah. Tell me what's going on. Tell me something good that's going on, you know, and just kind of starting to you have to sometimes draw it again, asking courageous questions and building that curiosity and empowering the person. And again, it doesn't have to be a student. Could be a colleague. You know, we have colleagues that come in. Do we ask our colleagues, do we take the time to ask our co coaches and assistant coaches say everything OK at home?

00:57:44:18 - 00:58:05:10
Speaker 1
Like, what can I do? Like this sport? And this is where China is talking about earlier about how coaches it's their job. You know, you get paid to win yeah. But at some point, you know, and kids are struggling in your program that's going to affect you negatively at some point. And and again, I mean, I'm not in that position, so I don't relate to it.

00:58:05:10 - 00:58:34:04
Speaker 1
But I, I just this is so important that we get right and we start heading in the right direction. And, you know, you know, we're focused on society, on doing so many things better. The woke ness, OK, I'm not woke, but I could tell you right now that you could be as walk as you want. But if you have students and athletes that are struggling with mental health you're hoping this isn't going to do anything.

00:58:35:02 - 00:58:39:20
Speaker 2
What is wackness? I missed the boat. Not in the. No.

00:58:40:02 - 00:58:48:04
Speaker 1
Well, you know, like cultural stuff, like being, you know, like equity inequality. And I think that it's important. It's important. But yeah.

00:58:48:05 - 00:58:49:03
Speaker 2
Yeah, I'm with you.

00:58:49:03 - 00:59:00:00
Speaker 1
But it's not what you know. Sorry, guys. I think China's having some technical problems, so Gigi and I are just we're kind of just digesting some of the.

00:59:00:00 - 00:59:21:24
Speaker 2
Stuff going with it. But I but I think you like, you really meant, like, you really woke me up today. And when you explained we do all this stuff on concussion or will take first aid, CPR will do fire drills, like I'm going through stuff now quickly. We're going through lockdowns, these events and they're super important events I've never been.

00:59:22:02 - 00:59:29:07
Speaker 2
Have you been in your school ever catch on fire? No. Have you any lockdowns? Have you had given CPR to a kid?

00:59:29:13 - 00:59:32:22
Speaker 1
No. I received responses, but no CPR.

00:59:33:04 - 00:59:36:00
Speaker 2
Concussion? How many concussions? Maybe a little bit more in that department.

00:59:36:02 - 00:59:39:09
Speaker 1
Concussions. But but I'm telling you, I probably deal like again.

00:59:39:21 - 00:59:47:11
Speaker 2
Well, let me build up to it. Let me build up to it. So let's let's rewind. Yeah, lockdowns. How many lockdowns at your school?

00:59:47:11 - 00:59:49:15
Speaker 1
I can't remember. Like, we practice them, but.

00:59:49:15 - 00:59:59:13
Speaker 2
No. Have you ever had one, though? You know, you practice. We all practice them about three times a year. Fires fire drills. We do fire drills. Tons. Yeah. Fire Ketchikan school. Yeah.

00:59:59:13 - 01:00:02:00
Speaker 1
I like the kitchen, like somebody, like, burnt toast.

01:00:02:00 - 01:00:03:14
Speaker 2
And so no.

01:00:05:09 - 01:00:12:03
Speaker 1
But no. Yeah, actually, I've had a school burnt. Sorry I'm derailing you, but I did have you are. You are. Yeah. Carry on.

01:00:12:21 - 01:00:15:24
Speaker 2
So then what about OK? We're just CPR.

01:00:16:14 - 01:00:18:15
Speaker 1
Never. Never done CPR on a student.

01:00:18:15 - 01:00:29:04
Speaker 2
Thank God you're no good. And then was the last one I was going with. Oh, concussions. Deal with a little bit more. Yes. Yeah, OK. But how many times you've had to deal with mental health situations?

01:00:29:08 - 01:00:30:21
Speaker 1
Tons. And, I.

01:00:30:21 - 01:00:36:20
Speaker 2
Mean, and what are you given to arm yourself? Are you practicing it like fire drills, like lockdowns, like all the other stuff?

01:00:37:01 - 01:00:59:18
Speaker 1
I'm going to go out on a limb and say they send us emails and say, oh, this is a seminar you could attend or this or this is a pamphlet but there's no legitimate like if you have this, do this and there's no like, you know, like in First Aid, this is your first step to CPR. You do this compressions, you breathe you do this, you call 911, you know, and again, we've learned to identify these things.

01:00:59:18 - 01:01:22:06
Speaker 1
But again, we haven't learned to be comfortable in creating and going back to what training thing is mental health culture and bringing it into my classroom. Yeah, we have positive spaces and I'm sorry I didn't I'm doing the air quotes in that. But like we have positive spaces. But does that carry out under the field with the community coach and with, you know, all these other places where that kid is going to feel supported in the athlete is going to be supported.

01:01:22:08 - 01:01:36:21
Speaker 2
That's going to come back to your culture because if you're creating a culture like, hey, let's get out there and do the X's and O's, and people are just literally treated like X's and O's and whatever, I know, but for some people that's like, Hey, man, we're successful. Look at us. Look at our banners and our trophies and our medals.

01:01:37:07 - 01:01:47:21
Speaker 2
But what we're about, it sounds like right in this podcast and we're trying to include it. It's about the big picture, right? Creating better human beings, not winning trophies.

01:01:48:01 - 01:02:09:05
Speaker 1
Yeah. And trying to know what I said was, I'm not a walk. I've missed the boat on being walked. But I think what we've done is we've, we're putting our resources and I know these resources for mental health exist, but I think they're maybe driven, not necessarily in the right directions for the right period at a time for, you know what I mean?

01:02:09:05 - 01:02:16:24
Speaker 1
Like, it's not we're not equipping people with the tools to create that. And I love it that mental health culture who.

01:02:16:24 - 01:02:45:18
Speaker 3
Yeah. And I think the tools like to give a little behind the scene to the podcast for the listeners about your to host right here is I just had a full blown computer meltdown my computer froze and what's funny is I chose I have two locations where I could've recorded this and I chose the better one by far for Internet instability and we have a crash right in the middle and YouTube just went and didn't miss a beat.

01:02:45:22 - 01:03:06:21
Speaker 3
And it's just funny because we're talking about tools right now. And if that would have happened on maybe a different podcast where I'm only talking about baseball and not talking about presence or whatnot, my heart rate still went up and I felt terrible and it was gone. But when I saw the little loading bar on the PC loading back up, I'm like, What can you do about this?

01:03:06:21 - 01:03:29:16
Speaker 3
Right now? I'm nothing like Just sit here, get back on when you can and see what happens. And I think, you know, it's just a weird way of answering the question of the tools have to be presented at the right times. And I think that's where mental health community is right now, is it's awesome that it's being talked about more and it's there's more of a priority on it.

01:03:30:00 - 01:03:54:08
Speaker 3
But I still think the implementation of the tools of the resources, that's where we have a long way to go on how can this affect our daily lives instead of, Oh, cool, a celebrity says they're struggling with mental health on social media. Well, how does that affect the millions of people living with mental illness? I think that's the void in the gap.

01:03:54:23 - 01:04:17:11
Speaker 3
That's kind of taken my focus now of like a lot of times when I'm meditating on business stuff and trying to think of like, what is the answer there? Because I've had tools forever through Jigger Sports, I was at Jager Sports as a 12 year old. I knew mental training and what a process was pitch to pitch, and I still didn't implement it on a daily basis.

01:04:17:11 - 01:04:40:21
Speaker 3
And so how can we make how can we just increase the the number of times we're using those mental health resources and, and presenting them in the right way instead of a one day convention? Mental Health Awareness Night one email to an entire faculty and then we just kind of go on our merry way and everything goes back to the way it was before.

01:04:41:14 - 01:05:01:20
Speaker 2
And it's like, look at the event response outcome, like what you dealt with in the last two or 3 minutes. And just that's just a should our listeners mean like anything will trigger at any time? As much as I might think that's irrelevant, like it's all good. He feels a different way, right? Because he either he cares or it triggered another emotion of something in the past.

01:05:02:02 - 01:05:16:11
Speaker 2
But for like Mark and I sit here saying, Where's this guy mentally? Hurry out, work with us if that happens, you know, I mean, in L.A. And of all places, right? But anything triggers man and good, good on you. And I'm glad to hear we're.

01:05:16:11 - 01:05:17:12
Speaker 1
Glad you came back. Yeah, good.

01:05:17:12 - 01:05:18:09
Speaker 2
Yeah, exactly.

01:05:18:09 - 01:05:36:18
Speaker 1
I was starting to get self-conscious, like, gee, maybe we maybe maybe he doesn't want to be with us anymore, but now, like china, i want us to talk about jager sports a little bit, because you mentioned it, and you've been there since 12. Fill us in on what it is. And I'm eye level with the bigger sports website.

01:05:36:18 - 01:05:58:17
Speaker 1
You've got people like clayton kershaw and eric I'm a huge fan of eric cressey and that guy is just like he's a strength and conditioning God, in my opinion, especially for baseball folks. But talk to us about the business side of things. We've been we've been cutting up mental health here pretty good. So I do want to talk about Jaeger sports because it's a really, really sick, sick outfit.

01:05:59:23 - 01:06:26:13
Speaker 3
Yeah. So I started my Jager sports journey. My dad was at a carwash in 1999 and saw one of those, you know how people used to advertise like in the back of a magazine you bought an ad or something for the Jager Sports Summer camp and I was 12 and they said at the time they have eight to 12 year olds, but there's going be a lot of high school guys there and it's a little more extensive or whatnot.

01:06:27:00 - 01:06:58:05
Speaker 3
But I went four days and 4 hours a day and the last 45 minutes we touched a baseball and it was advertised in baseball camp. So for 3 hours and 15 minutes we talked about the relationship between mind and body. The breath meditated for 45 minutes, did paired stretching yoga and a 12. Yeah, you know I was, I was really into the meditation because I'd never laid down and just spent time and stillness.

01:06:58:05 - 01:07:20:10
Speaker 3
I wanted to play video games or run around and it was just so comfortable. And Allen came out on day four of the four day camp and I was drawn with, I'll Never Forget a junior senior at Canyon High School, which is a bigger high school out there and just, you know, hold my own in the long course and he asked for my dad.

01:07:20:10 - 01:07:36:04
Speaker 3
He's like, Is this kid's parents here? My dad was, I guess me. And he went over and he's like, I want to stay in touch. Your son's going to throw hard one day. And then I threw another ball and he's like, he's going to be in the nineties. And then I do another ball and he's like, or higher.

01:07:36:18 - 01:08:03:21
Speaker 3
And it just speaks to how many people out on the scene. I was tiny as a 12 year old too. I was 511, 135 as a junior in high school, but he saw something in my arm action but that's kind of the first interaction I had. And then we stayed in touch, just mentor and student, and I started traveling around the country with him at like 16, 17 and putting on the long tossed demonstrations and then about 28 in the summertimes.

01:08:03:21 - 01:08:41:09
Speaker 3
After my college seasons, I started spending a little time in the office with the business side of stuff, which has always been a huge passion of mine is finances, business, finance, stuff like that. And when I retired in 2012 I came on full time on the business side and we only had black jay bands at that point, but now we have 28 variations and two offices and it just I pinch myself sometimes and it's been anything but rosy in terms of, you know, we've just had a lot of adversity.

01:08:41:09 - 01:08:54:08
Speaker 3
Let's just say in any kind of negotiations, any job, there's going to be some stuff. But yeah, it's just cool to like I'm not working at Sears or selling fridges. I don't even know. Are there Sears anymore?

01:08:56:14 - 01:08:57:22
Speaker 3
You know the outside.

01:08:58:02 - 01:09:00:18
Speaker 1
World differently in California, but not in Canada.

01:09:00:24 - 01:09:26:15
Speaker 3
Yeah, but we like I truly just love what Jay or Sports stands for in terms of like its simplicity, but it really, truly just with a little bit of effort can change your career with your arm, arm care and conditioning. And then just the simple approach to mental training and spending five to 10 minutes for adults listening, for kids listening.

01:09:26:15 - 01:09:44:09
Speaker 3
I don't care who, what, where, what profession. If you spend five to 10 minutes in silence every day, it can drastically change your life and that's one of the tools I alluded to earlier that I had forever and I did not implement for a long time as a consistent basis as I should have.

01:09:45:15 - 01:10:06:00
Speaker 2
Like like we use it. We use the bands for our routines every day. Now throw on we need a couple more f.y.i. We just need a couple more anyways. Address sidebar. So and then now we have a younger age group there, ten year olds and they're like, JJ, what do you think now? You know, because they have junior ones now and I said, Hey man, it's a great time to start at any time.

01:10:06:00 - 01:10:18:15
Speaker 2
It's just the right stretches and get them habits. But like I'm saying that to tell you, like you're in our facility here, like you're you got to be in every facility, God knows where. How does that feel?

01:10:19:22 - 01:10:29:06
Speaker 3
It feels, uh, feels wild. It feels good. It's like I have the map behind me and I color in every country that we did.

01:10:29:07 - 01:10:33:17
Speaker 2
That's what I was. I was going to get to that, but I wasn't obviously in the places you wanted to visit or I didn't or.

01:10:34:13 - 01:10:35:19
Speaker 3
I wish it was where I've gone.

01:10:36:11 - 01:10:39:13
Speaker 1
They're really not working hard at the office there.

01:10:39:13 - 01:10:44:17
Speaker 3
They're coloring see if I open that door. There's a putting green out there, too, so.

01:10:45:07 - 01:10:46:01
Speaker 1
Yeah, that's good.

01:10:46:02 - 01:11:03:17
Speaker 3
That's good. Yeah, but, no, it's it's. It's wild. Like, the whole journey. Like, if there was a documentary on Jake or sports and how Allen started in 94 doing camps, like that's all he did. Jay Bands kind of came around on accident as a tool to implement everything else that he was doing.

01:11:05:17 - 01:11:26:14
Speaker 3
And now like Jay, bands are so synonymous with us. It's like, Oh, there's the Jay bands guys right there. That's not the Jake or sports guys at the ABC. It's those are the Jay bands guys. And that's very cool. And it's cool to have a tangible tool that's like synonymous with us. But the programs is what I fell in love with.

01:11:26:19 - 01:11:48:13
Speaker 3
And yeah, it's been, it's been a fun ride. It's cool every year, you know, you watch College World Series and they'll cut to the bullpen. You've got Orange Bands and the Texas Ten or the Purple Bands and TCU and it's, it's pretty wild. And I just, I hope ten years from now it's just even more so and in golf or basketball or football or whatnot.

01:11:48:24 - 01:11:58:23
Speaker 2
But educate me because I'm still literally and I feel bad doing this but like when I think you guys, that's what I'm thinking. So what else, what else is in there? Like what else is going on? What else are you guys doing for people?

01:11:59:06 - 01:12:23:05
Speaker 3
Yeah. So basically we are arm care and conditioning program is just three simple steps. There's arm circles, the J bands, and then a long tossed throwing progression and arm circles and J bands. The way I always kind of break it down for people is if I told you both and this would terrify me because I'd probably tear both my hamstrings, but in 10 minutes we're going to run a 60 hour dash for time right.

01:12:23:13 - 01:12:25:20
Speaker 2
Now I can my hamstrings there poll when you say that.

01:12:26:11 - 01:12:56:13
Speaker 3
Yeah, you're going to make sure you do something to try to get warm to go blow it out for 68, 60 hour drive. And so the arm circles and the J bands is the same philosophy for throwing, for the act of throwing that's stretching your hamstrings for lack of a better analogy to go throw. And so like just those two simple steps of arm circles and j bands, the blood flow, the heat, the range of motion going, the specific muscle groups that are so unique for overhand throwing.

01:12:58:16 - 01:13:31:16
Speaker 3
That's kind of the, the first two parts and then the long toss throwing progression. I mean, I wish we still did clinics everywhere with our business models changed as the world's changed with e commerce and easier to deliver digital content and stuff. But one of the best meditations I've ever had is just going out to 350 in front of a group with Jim and just showing how effortlessly you can get distance if everything's sync up correctly and allowing your arm to dictate your distance and letting athletes be individuals and stuff like that.

01:13:31:20 - 01:13:53:16
Speaker 3
And so that's kind of our arm care and conditioning. And then the mental training is just basically a basic philosophy and how do we practice it, the philosophy being rooted in the breath and the present moment, a pitch to pitch process, and then how do we practice that with breath work visualization? You know, different sort of breathing exercises.

01:13:53:16 - 01:14:07:07
Speaker 3
Some people are afraid of the word meditation, but it's basically meditation and spending time with your breath so that you can get back to the present moment when you're in a performance and the variables try to take over your mind, bases loaded, all that good stuff.

01:14:07:19 - 01:14:14:20
Speaker 2
Would you guys still do like you're going to get back to doing camps and stuff or go out to places or is that where's that at?

01:14:15:06 - 01:14:40:05
Speaker 3
Yeah, it's not off the table. Present day, it's more what which opportunity it is and what we used to do every single one. And then the business started change and then COVID hit, which really because we were still doing them up until 2019 but yeah, it just depends on the group and the desire and how much time Jim and I have in advance to get in shape now because we haven't kept it going.

01:14:40:05 - 01:14:53:20
Speaker 3
But God, I would love to do that more and more because it kept the kept that little void. Speaking of mental health, trying to find something that, you know, stimulates that that competition is pretty hard.

01:14:54:24 - 01:15:13:19
Speaker 1
And back to the end, we're going to wrap it up here, but the the back to the idea of both the breathing and meditation, does that not hold true in any walk, not just in the bullpen getting ready to pitch. You would have said perform in anything, walking into the office, walking into the boardroom, driving on the highway.

01:15:14:02 - 01:15:27:16
Speaker 1
Those are like, you know, you use that example like I love it. Like it's pertinent and that's why sports and life and especially who I don't forget who said I'm going to get it wrong. But baseball is a metaphor for life all about that preparation, right? Like it's so good. So good.

01:15:28:05 - 01:15:39:04
Speaker 3
On it's like it's happened twice on this call. I don't know if that even came through the mic. But earlier the Amazon guy rang our doorbell like.

01:15:39:18 - 01:15:41:19
Speaker 2
I thought it was a dog. I thought I was stubbies dogs.

01:15:43:20 - 01:16:09:06
Speaker 3
Like it's a $20 nothing. Why are you. He kept ringing doorbell, but it was like, who cares? Stay present. We're here. When the computer froze up, on me, it was like, Oh, goodness. And so it's like, how many hundreds of times it is that happened throughout the day. I went to the driving range with a buddy, and there's only one spot where you could get boss, and the guy selling the tickets for the balls was having a conversation with his buddy.

01:16:09:23 - 01:16:29:09
Speaker 3
And the line just kept getting longer and longer and longer. And like for a split second, my jaw got tight and I was like, Ah, this is customer service at its worst. And I'm like, No, and I about face. And I looked at the course. I watched some shots, I looked for birds. I just tried to change my perception, and that's all it is in the moment.

01:16:29:09 - 01:16:52:22
Speaker 3
It's like, can you get back to focusing on again? What can I control? I can't control what the bases are loaded. If the scouts are in the stands where my girlfriend isn't in the stands, where did she go get back to pitch to pitch process. And that's really what we try to focus on and helping kids just get two or three things they can focus on every single pitch to fall back on.

01:16:52:24 - 01:17:11:06
Speaker 3
And that's the same thing in life where if you can get back to taking a deep breath and realizing what's important when somebody inevitably cuts you off in Los Angeles, California, like they do every day on the highway, you keep your middle finger where it belongs, which is on the steering wheel, and you don't create a situation for possible really bad road rage.

01:17:12:21 - 01:17:17:08
Speaker 2
To practice that line. I love. And there followed that followed.

01:17:17:16 - 01:17:19:08
Speaker 3
Now, I never practice that. No.

01:17:19:14 - 01:17:25:19
Speaker 1
And so we see change your focus, change your future, change your focus, change your future.

01:17:26:05 - 01:17:54:16
Speaker 3
Yeah. And that could be like what I love about sayings like that is that can go both ways and like you can teach by like if you change your focus, change your future, if you focus on only negative for a long enough period of time, that's where your life's going. Whereas because we always talk about it and you can kind of which is good and you want to show the positive, but if you also show the negative, it can kind of intrinsically motivate a way like I don't want to go there.

01:17:54:16 - 01:18:00:01
Speaker 3
So it's going to double kind of do a double affirmation on the positive. If you explain the negative to.

01:18:00:13 - 01:18:06:00
Speaker 2
Know all right. That we're taking that note. Yeah.

01:18:07:15 - 01:18:08:05
Speaker 1
Anything else.

01:18:09:06 - 01:18:10:08
Speaker 2
Now? Well, yes.

01:18:10:16 - 01:18:15:19
Speaker 1
It's like 730 at his place there. So he's, he wants to go out and enjoy this, the sunset.

01:18:15:19 - 01:18:19:01
Speaker 2
Let's go back to the driving range or the putt for a little bit. I don't know what's going on.

01:18:19:01 - 01:18:39:18
Speaker 1
So China, we want to wrap up and for you and one of the things that we want to leave our listeners now is one thing that they can focus on for the week till we drop our next show is how would you recommend our listeners become better armed to help support people in their lives who have anxiety, depression or suffer from panic attacks?

01:18:41:04 - 01:19:09:02
Speaker 3
Yeah, it's such a powerful such a powerful question and a great question. And I would give two answers. The first answer I would give is to anybody that's suffering is to reach out for help in whatever way is most comfortable for you. Right. I'm never going to tell somebody what's the best way to go. Therapy helped me immensely overnight when I went to my first therapy session six years after my first panic attack.

01:19:10:17 - 01:19:36:04
Speaker 3
But quick Google search, right? Take action to get resources if you're struggling because you can guarantee you get no help if you don't look for help. So seek help if you are struggling and then anybody that's not struggling, what I would encourage them to do is to meditate, journal, whatever they want to do. This week on something they have struggled with in their life.

01:19:36:11 - 01:20:01:01
Speaker 3
And that can be weight gain. It can be grades in school. Maybe they have a learning this, but whatever it's been, everybody's had a struggle in life. And I want you to sit with the feeling of somebody blatantly misunderstanding you or judging you because of what that thing is. Oh, you're overweight. I'm judging. Oh, your grades aren't good, you're done or whatever it's been.

01:20:01:05 - 01:20:22:19
Speaker 3
We all know what that feeling feels like in our chest. In our stomach. It's the worst feeling on this planet. And when something arises in somebody else's life, we're using mental health as the example. Now, even if it's something you haven't struggled with or you don't understand, show compassion and grace to that person because you can bet for damn sure you're going to struggle with something else in your life.

01:20:22:19 - 01:20:40:14
Speaker 3
And you're going to want people to help you and to not judge you and to show compassion and grace on you. And if you can take five to 10 minutes this week to sit with those emotions and those feelings it can change the way you're going to react to someone. And you can keep somebody on this planet just by showing grace and compassion.

01:20:40:14 - 01:21:06:17
Speaker 3
Like, Hey, I've never dealt with that, but I'm here for you. How can I help you? Like, what can I do? Be more of a human like that instead of that judgmental thing that can send somebody down to a deep, dark place. And these suicide rates will stay where they are, even go up. But that's what I would challenge the listeners to do this week, five to 10 minutes, whether it's meditation or writing, think about something you struggle with and how you'd want to be treated in that moment and use that as a blueprint for how you treat other people.

01:21:09:12 - 01:21:14:15
Speaker 1
You know, usually I'm proud of our shows. You say, Oh, that was a good show. This is an important show.

01:21:14:16 - 01:21:15:12
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah.

01:21:15:20 - 01:21:17:16
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. And you know.

01:21:17:16 - 01:21:18:12
Speaker 2
I know what you're saying.

01:21:18:23 - 01:21:24:12
Speaker 1
This this is important. And China, I think you just you've you've just in like.

01:21:24:12 - 01:21:31:12
Speaker 2
Kicked a sleeping dog at the same time. It's true, man. It's true. Like, it's really brought it to the forefront.

01:21:31:22 - 01:21:44:20
Speaker 1
And we're grateful for what you're doing. Again, I can't say enough where I know Gigi feels the same and we're appreciative of the work you do. I think what we need to do is we need to find an excuse for a bench marked field trip to Albany.

01:21:44:20 - 01:21:46:24
Speaker 2
I've already thought of that. I was already laying the groundwork.

01:21:47:11 - 01:21:56:07
Speaker 1
And and it's April here in Canada, and you just you're talking about going out and throwing and long toss. I was just like, oh, my God. Like, we're going.

01:21:56:14 - 01:22:00:11
Speaker 2
You remember the party sitting in a place in Arizona also? Did you hear that part? I was listening.

01:22:00:11 - 01:22:03:07
Speaker 1
Yeah, we might. You got to old guys might show up on your doorstep soon.

01:22:03:07 - 01:22:06:08
Speaker 3
Yeah, I have the perfect excuse. You ready?

01:22:06:15 - 01:22:08:04
Speaker 2
I'm listening. We are listening.

01:22:08:13 - 01:22:43:15
Speaker 3
September 17th 2022 is the first annual triple D golf tournament in Goodyear, Arizona. At my home course out there, it's going to raise money for mental health. But more than that, it's just an excuse to get a bunch of friends together and chop it up like this and have fun. And, yeah, so there's your your little excuse. And the one thing I want to say to both of you is, in doing my research, for tonight, to be prepared and to be genuine and hopefully make an impact.

01:22:43:19 - 01:22:53:05
Speaker 3
I listen to your guys show, I listen to the shows with guests, and one of the shows was with Kristen, and I would try to pronounce her last name, but.

01:22:53:16 - 01:22:54:23
Speaker 2
I tried the same thing.

01:22:55:04 - 01:23:18:05
Speaker 3
You know, but I don't remember which one of you said this to her, but it was about the impact she left on everyone that was in the room the first time. People met her. And Jim Badger and I always talk about the CEO of Jager Sports. Like our gut, like we trust our gut, our instincts with people. We have a very good feel for like genuinely good people.

01:23:18:05 - 01:23:41:23
Speaker 3
And I'm not just blowing smoke to do this because you can listen to other podcasts I've been on and I don't end like this every time but I truly feel and I got to, like, accidentally spectate when you guys just took over, when my computer just decided to give me a panic attack it just the way you guys talk and challenge each other, it's just very clear and evident that you're doing things for the right reasons.

01:23:41:23 - 01:24:06:06
Speaker 3
And anybody that's come under your tutelage or your teachings or organizations that you work for, I just feel are lucky because that that sort of gut instinct that I have about like the man I host of the podcast with Tim Dickson, I just get that same vibe that if you were my coach, I'd, you know, I don't know the expletives we're allowed to use, but I break a wall, I break through a wall and try to win games and just I appreciate you guys.

01:24:06:06 - 01:24:08:01
Speaker 3
And once we got connected the way we did.

01:24:08:21 - 01:24:12:11
Speaker 2
You'd be our Friday starter buddy. You will be our Friday starter.

01:24:12:14 - 01:24:15:22
Speaker 3
Only four to five weeks, though. And then you got to tell me that I know.

01:24:16:20 - 01:24:18:19
Speaker 1
You stole my line out there.

01:24:18:20 - 01:24:19:17
Speaker 2
Right? Nice.

01:24:19:21 - 01:24:21:23
Speaker 1
I know. We're great.

01:24:21:23 - 01:24:27:10
Speaker 2
Thanks for the kind words, man. Much appreciate I really appreciate that. No response. Yeah. No, no. Yeah.

01:24:27:15 - 01:24:39:21
Speaker 1
We're going to have you on again. There's a lot again here. We can unpack, but who I hate? I hate closing shows. I did you we have to change this because it just breaks my heart, especially when we have fabulous guests on like China.

01:24:39:21 - 01:24:56:20
Speaker 2
This is just for our listeners to like and I said it off air. I don't mind saying on air like this is the first time we've met China. Like, we kind of connected through social media and some other things and it just organically kind of happened. And it's one of the best conversations I could be honest with. You had my life, so I'm grateful.

01:24:57:18 - 01:25:04:06
Speaker 1
I'm better and better. Yeah. Better today than I was yesterday. And because of this, I'm going to be better tomorrow than I was today.

01:25:04:20 - 01:25:05:01
Speaker 3
Well.

01:25:05:10 - 01:25:10:23
Speaker 1
Well, that does it for this episode of Benchmark. Thanks for listening. Until next time.

01:25:11:17 - 01:25:12:21
Speaker 3
Keep crushing it.

People on this episode

Jean-Gilles Larocque

Host

Marc Messier

Host

Benchmarked

Benchmarked

China McCarney - Business Leader, Best Selling Author, Trainer, and Mental Health Advocate.

People on this episode

Jean-Gilles Larocque

Marc Messier

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